Slow down Archives - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Guilt is not a feeling

These past few weeks I’ve been riddled with guilt, so much so that my guilt would wake me up in the middle of the night, and I would feel my heart beating in my chest, and my mind racing with worry. So often, my clients share how they carry their own guilt for choices they’ve made, especially when others do not approve of those choices.

Recently, I had a deep conversation with my coach about guilt, and I had a profound insight that has changed the way I see my guilt. And I want to share with you here what I’ve learnt about guilt… […]

Where and how are you adding value without seeing it?

Posted on November 4, 2024By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Commitment / Courage / Dreaming / Failure / Future Self / Goals / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Passion / Purpose / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Story Matters / Thinking / Thriving / Time management / Transformation / Values

Just before the completion of the Coaching Leadership Mastermind I did with my coach, she invited the group to consider where, in which dimensions of our lives, we added value either to ourselves or to others in the past 24 hours. We worked through The Wheel of Life and considered which dimensions of our lives were enriched in the past 24 hours?

Then my coach invited us to reflect on the past week, and consider where in the past week we add value to either ourselves or others? Lastly, she invited us to review the whole month and consider in a deeper way where did we add value to ourselves or others over the past month? […]

Self-care in times of chaos

Posted on September 17, 2024By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Commitment / Compassion / Courage / Decision-Making / Emotional Agility / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Grit / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Planning / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving / Time management

The energy in September tends to be similar to that of the start of the year. Once back from Summer break, people now need to recommit to work, and schedules, and often with the start of the new school year, and after having a break, we vow that we will start doing things differently…It’s interesting how I found myself in the first week of September, already wondering how I will get through the rest of September… Perhaps this feels familiar to you too? And yet, often, even when I feel less resourced, I find myself still pushing through. One of the stories running in the background was, “You can’t be tired now. You just came back from a vacation.”… […]

How and Why We Numb…

Posted on June 25, 2024By ChantalPosted in Compassion / Courage / Emotional Agility / Failure / Fear / Goals / Grit / In the muck / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Rejection / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving

Recently I shared how shame can get in the way of us living more wholeheartedly. Today I want to talk about numbing. All of us numb from time to time. Some of us numb more than others, and yet all of us numb. What does it mean to numb? Numbing is what we do to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings. It’s what we do when we are resisting feeling our true feelings about something. And usually, we resist our true feelings about something, because we have convinced ourselves that it would be too painful to feel our feelings, or that we might get overwhelmed by our feelings if we let ourselves feel them… […]

Can a flat tire give you a headache?

Posted on April 23, 2024By ChantalPosted in Coaching / Gratitude / Grit / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Planning / Purpose / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving / Transformation

I’m currently listening to Life Loves You by Louise Hay and Robert Holden and in Chapter 3 of the book Robert Holden shares about a talk he once attended on the mind where the presenter posed the question: “Can a flat tire really give you a headache?” The reasoning was that you might complain about getting a flat tire, and you might even feel like you have a serious headache after having to deal with replacing a flat tire, but is it really the flat tire that is giving you the headache? The only way the flat tire can be responsible for your headache, is if the tire came off, bounced, ricocheted, and hit you in the head. What is really giving you the headache when you need to replace a flat tire, is your thinking about the flat tire… […]

Appreciate and acknowledge the phase of life you are in

Posted on January 29, 2024By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Completions / Courage / Dreaming / Failure / Future Self / Goals / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Life / Perspective / Planning / Purpose / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving

Often this time of year, there are lots of posts on social media about big goals and kicking the year off with a strong start. Many of those messages contain a subtle (or not so subtle) tone of “if you’re not all in and ready to go, there’s something wrong with you”. And yet, you might find yourself in a place where you are not sure you are all ready to go.

These messages are not accurate. Not everyone is excited at the start of a new year. And nor do you need to be, because let’s be honest, New Year’s Day, is just another day in the year, like any other, and nothing significantly changes between one minute before midnight on December 31st and one minute after midnight on January 1st… […]

Why it serves you to slow down at the Beginning of a New Year

Posted on January 17, 2024By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Commitment / Completions / Dreaming / Failure / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Happiness / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Perspective / Planning / Slow down / Thinking

This past weekend, I led a workshop for 19 people called “Creating 2024 with Intention”. These 19 individuals made the conscious and brave choice to slow down, take stock of what had transpired in their lives in 2023, and really become intentional about who they want to become in 2024 and what experiences they would like to be having this year.

The New Year often evokes within most of us the need to set new year’s resolutions. It’s an invitation to start anew with a clean slate. And it’s been my experience that so often people are so eager to move forward, that they don’t take the time to slow down, turn around, and look back to where they had come from… […]

Take this with you into the last days of 2023

Posted on December 22, 2023By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Compassion / Completions / Connection / Gratitude / Happiness / Inspiration / Life / Listening / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Perspective / Self-care / Slow down

Earlier this week, I sent out what I thought would be my last newsletter for this year, and then two things happened yesterday that had me feel compelled to write to you all… First, I had a conversation with a client yesterday where she shared with me the awakening and transformation she had experienced over the past two years. The second thing that happened yesterday, is that I attended a Quarrtsiluni session with a colleague who was generous enough to invite me to his event. […]

Rest is part of the work. It’s not the reward for hard work.

Posted on December 17, 2023By ChantalPosted in Happiness / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Purpose / Self-care / Slow down / Thriving

There are two times of year that I find quite intriguing. The one is just before the Summer holidays and the other is just before the Winter break for Xmas and New Year’s. People tend to get into a frenzy to “wrap everything up” or “get everything done” before they “take a break”. And some people treat their “break” as a “to do” item on their to-do list. My sense is that this is a symptom of the society we live in – a world that is always on and always on the go. I firmly believe that we are not built for speed. Human beings are not meant to be moving at the pace that we are moving in this world right now. Here is why… […]

What if Perfection is not required this holiday season?

Posted on December 7, 2023By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Commitment / Compassion / Dreaming / Gratitude / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Planning / Self-care / Slow down / Thriving / Values

Last year, at the start of the holiday season, I asked whether you would be inviting the Twin P’s over for dinner this holiday? It seems that many of us – especially women and caregivers – turn in to control freaks during the holiday season. We become frantic and tend to experience a tremendous sense of overwhelm, because we believe it’s our job to create “the perfect holiday celebration” for our family. What that usually looks like, is we want everything to be perfect – whatever that means? – we refuse to ask for or accept help from others, and we become control freaks, so we become impossible to be around. But what if it doesn’t have to be this way? […]