A while ago I wrote an article about what your perfectionism is really trying to tell you. Perfectionism is a misunderstanding that we need to earn our self-worth or prove that we are enough or worthy. The truth is that you came into this world worthy and then got disconnected from that truth over time. So, embracing your imperfections is a way that you can choose to reclaim your inherent worthiness… […]
I have shared about my experiences with perfectionism before in my writing about a Perfection Detox: Learning to trust yourself and I have shared how I battle with my P Twins – i.e., Perfectionism and Pleasing – whenever I am navigating important situations or events in my life. Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting everything to be clean and neat, or orderly. Perfectionism can take different forms, and often people who are perfectionists, see their perfectionism as a moral compass or guideline to measure their personal “goodness” as a person. In other words, somewhere they internalised the message that they are only a good person, or lovable when they are perfect. This of course sets you up for a lifetime of struggle, frustration, and failure, because there is no such thing as the perfect person who always does everything right. So, you end up living in constant fear that someone will discover that you are not perfect, and that you will be ostracised from the very groups of people you are trying to belong with. […]
Earlier this week, I sent out what I thought would be my last newsletter for this year, and then two things happened yesterday that had me feel compelled to write to you all… First, I had a conversation with a client yesterday where she shared with me the awakening and transformation she had experienced over the past two years. The second thing that happened yesterday, is that I attended a Quarrtsiluni session with a colleague who was generous enough to invite me to his event. […]
It was my birthday last week, and I had the most incredible birthday. I used to hate birthdays. I used to want to avoid my birthday at all costs. And for the past three years, I have had really amazing and joyful birthdays. So, I want to share briefly what has changed for me, and why it’s important. […]
The other day my daughter asked me why I set timers for myself throughout the day. I set alarms that remind me when it’s time to leave for an appointment, or when it’s almost time for a client call. I do this so that I don’t have to keep watching the clock. I find constantly watching the clock takes me out of the moment and that is not helpful for my intention to be fully present IN the moment. So, I have alarms that remind me of the time. That lessens my mental load, and allows me to simply BE in the moment and enjoy the moment, because I don’t have to worry about missing a call.
And of course, with the wisdom and brilliance of a 6-year-old, my daughter shared her insights from what she understood about why I have alarms that go off throughout the day… […]
My commitment to changing the level at which I live my life, deepened about four years ago when I decided to embark on the biggest personal transformation of my life. And the most important thing about personal growth and transformation, is that you never arrive. There is never a point of completion. The deeper you go, the more you start to value and appreciate the journey. You fall in love with the process, because you realise that’s all there is.
So, as I write this, I’ve renewed my commitment to being 100% committed to the process and 0% committed to the outcome. I cannot control the outcome. So, there is no point on focusing my energy and attention there. I won’t get me what I yearn for most anyway. So, instead, I fall in love with the process of learning and growing, and I stay on the path towards mastery. I choose to be a student of life and I accept and embrace never arriving. For the rest of my days here on earth, I am a student of life, and I am here to soak up as much love, learning, joy, growth, awe, and inspiration as is available to me.
These renewed commitments stem directly from my attendance at a Game Changer Event with the ultimate mindset coach, Devon Bandison… […]
ly listening to another human being feels like a lost art these days. My great-grandmother used to say that we have one mouth and two ears so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. And she was a great listener. She seldomly spoke, so when she did, I always listened, because I knew that what she had to share would be valuable…
Today I want to talk about far more than simply listening for learning or for our own personal understanding. I want to talk about what it means to listen deeply to another in a way that has you both feeling seen, heard, and deeply connected. […]
During my second year in Canada, just before I decided to become a coach, I had a conversation with a coach about life purpose. In the coaching model she was trained in, they were taught to narrow down your life purpose to ONE word that summarises what you are all about or what you are trying to create in your lifetime. A one-word life purpose sounded absurd to me. Could you really narrow it down to just one word? And of course, I was surprised when she shared what she thought my life purpose was. She observed that it sounded like mine was connection. I’ve discovered two things since then… […]