Connection Archives - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

What do you believe you deserve?

In 2024 I led a private coaching group called Living As If You Matter. At the completion of this group, I gave each of the participants a small silver journal. I invited them to treat the journal as a Dreams and Desires Journal and to write down 100 dreams, desires, longings, or wants in it. I also promised each of the participants a complimentary conversation if they wrote down their dreams and desires, and then reached out to me to let me know that they had completed their list.

The other day I invited a client to guess how many women reached out to me after receiving their dreams and desire journals. My client said, “Well I would hope all of them reached out.” I asked her why, and she said that she would have a hard time coming up with a list of 100, and that she hoped someone else had the courage to come up with a list of 100…

My client captured the essence of what I have heard over and over again during the past seven months in conversations with women about thriving. People are struggling to let themselves thrive. Why? It’s very simple really, they don’t believe that they deserve to… […]

What to do when you feel overwhelmed – Take 10…

Posted on March 23, 2026By ChantalPosted in Compassion / Connection / Courage / Emotional Agility / Failure / Fear / Future Self / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Purpose / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Thriving

I’m not someone who tends to write about the steps you need to take to overcome something, or fix something, and today I want to talk about something Alison Armstrong shared that landed and resonated deeply. And it’s directly connected to our willingness to let ourselves grow, stretch, and ultimately thrive… So, I hope you will indulge me in sharing with you what you could do if you are currently feeling overwhelmed. […]

What does it mean to thrive?

Posted on March 4, 2026By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Bias for action / Commitment / Connection / Courage / Dreaming / Failure / Fear / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Story Matters / Thriving / Transformation / Values

Over the last two years I have sat with this question: What does it mean to thrive? I used to believe that if I could achieve enough outside success, then I would thrive.

When I started my coaching business, I read The Prosperous Coach, in the hopes that I could figure out how to prosper – which is another word for thrive. I was longing to find the secret to thriving / prospering / flourishing / expanding. And I will be honest, initially I thought that I would feel like I was thriving if I were making more money and if I was really successful in my business… […]

What is Love?

Posted on February 14, 2026By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Commitment / Compassion / Connection / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Self-care / Thriving

Today large parts of the world are celebrating Valentine’s Day. I find it so strange that we live in a world where we have commercialised everything to the point that even the most important things in our lives can lose their meaning and significance.

I have always found the idea of Valentine’s Day a little absurd since love cannot be bought or sold. Love is not a commodity. And creating a day where we remind people of their own loneliness, disconnection, and insecurities seems like the opposite of loving to me. It seems almost cruel. I’m not saying don’t appreciate your significant other, but I am questioning why you need a reminder to do that, or why they only get to be seen and celebrated on ONE day of the year.

Love isn’t a feeling either. The feeling you feel when you say that you are in love, is infatuation, desire, or lust. Love, real love, is an ACTION. Love is a way of being in the world. It’s the opposite of judgement. […]

The value of facing our Demons…

Posted on November 12, 2025By ChantalPosted in Compassion / Connection / Courage / Emotional Agility / Failure / Fear / Future Self / Grief / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Story Matters / Thriving

I want to start this article a little differently to how I would usually start a post. I want to start by sharing this funny video that captures my evolution with KPop Demon Hunters in 15 seconds. And if you don’t know what KPop Demon Hunters are, welcome to the movement. May it inspire you as much as it has inspired me.

If you are not a fan, that is totally fine too. I feel a little sad for you. And, you don’t need to a be fan, or even have watched the movie, to get value from this article. It’s just my starting point, and it doesn’t need to be yours. So, just hang in here with me for a little bit as I provide some background to why this movie, why this article, and why now? […]

Who do you become when faced with what matters most to you?

Posted on May 28, 2025By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Commitment / Connection / Courage / Failure / Fear / Grief / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Listening / Love / Meaning / Perspective / Purpose / Self-care / Slow down / Story Matters / Values

A few weeks ago, in conversation with a client, she asked a powerful question: How do I know what my truth is? The answer to that question is multi-layered. Here’s why… […]

Little earthquakes: How grief and trauma shapes us

Posted on May 8, 2025By ChantalPosted in Commitment / Compassion / Connection / Courage / Emotional Agility / Fear / Gratitude / Grief / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Love / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Slow down / Story Matters / Transformation

I recently finished reading, Little Earthquakes: A memoir by Sarah Mandel where she recounts the heartbreaking story of her six year long battle with stage four metastatic breast cancer and the ensuing trauma that unfolded from that. Mandel was a therapist who used narrative therapy to help her clients work through their trauma, and then chose to apply her own therapy methods in the writing of her memoir. It was a way for her to make sense of the trauma she had walked through… […]

How will you BE as we close this year?

Posted on December 23, 2024By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Completions / Connection / Gratitude / Happiness / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Slow down / Thinking

I’ve been thinking about of you and about this time of year. For some, this is a joyous time of year. And for some it’s the most miserable time of the year… How you feel about the holiday season probably has a lot to do with how you grew up and what occurred during the holiday seasons… […]

Guilt is not a feeling

Posted on December 17, 2024By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Commitment / Compassion / Connection / Courage / Decision-Making / Emotional Agility / Failure / Fear / Happiness / In the muck / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Listening / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving / Values

These past few weeks I’ve been riddled with guilt, so much so that my guilt would wake me up in the middle of the night, and I would feel my heart beating in my chest, and my mind racing with worry. So often, my clients share how they carry their own guilt for choices they’ve made, especially when others do not approve of those choices.

Recently, I had a deep conversation with my coach about guilt, and I had a profound insight that has changed the way I see my guilt. And I want to share with you here what I’ve learnt about guilt… […]

The Paradox of Self-Improvement

Posted on October 16, 2024By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Connection / Courage / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Resilience / Self-care / Thinking / Thriving / Transformation

Something that we all share as human beings, is the desire for learning and growth. It’s built into our DNA to want to learn and grow. If you don’t believe me, simply spend some time with babies and you will see it. We learn more in the first year of life than in any other time in our lives. We are simply geared towards learning, because learning things helps us survive, and even once we have figured out how to survive, learning helps us go from merely surviving to thriving. If you consider the technological advancement of humanity, it becomes quite evident that we want to grow, learn, and expand. We almost can’t help ourselves.

What I’m most baffled by though is how our natural instinct for learning and growth then starts morphing into a need for self-improvement and/or self-betterment, and then sometimes even morphing into an obsession with perfectionism. The idea of self-improvement has been with us for centuries. Even the great philosophers advocated for continuous self-improvement. And yet, I feel like there is a tipping point where self-improvement becomes toxic… […]