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Thoughts on personal growth, courage, and stepping into your bigger life.

You can be grateful and unfulfilled at the same time...

You can be grateful and unfulfilled at the same time...

Recently in a conversation with a client, I observed that she seems to be putting a cap on her happiness – i.e., she is limiting how happy she believes she can be in certain areas of her life. She remarked that my observation felt true, and yet at the same time she felt confused, because she has a good life and is grateful for where she is now. This client has done a lot of work. She has grown a lot, and her life looks significantly different than it did a few years ago, so it makes sense that she feels grateful and proud of where she is now. As we explored this more, what was revealed was a very subtle story about needing to be grateful and about what it would mean about her if she admitted that she didn’t feel fulfilled...

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The Anatomy of Fear

The Anatomy of Fear

A few weeks ago, I wrote about The Other Side of Fear, and I shared why it mattered to face our fears. Today, I want to expand on that and explore three things: Why we experience fear. We are all afraid of something. Not all fears are equal.

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Grief doesn’t have a timestamp

Grief doesn’t have a timestamp

On Father’s Day, I’m pausing and I feel compelled to share this with you. This past week, I was sharing with my coach how I have had this undercurrent of sadness running in the background for the past two weeks, with no discernable reason for this feeling. I don’t know about you, but I was conditioned to find reasons for my feelings, otherwise I’m not allowed to have them or worse, feel them. I tend to do the same with my needs – but that is a story for another day. I was intrigued by how, once we are aware of the conditioning we have or the patterns we run, they become sneakier and more subtle. So, I recognized that I was doing it again – I was trying to rationalize my feelings, instead of simply listening to my body and its wisdom, and feeling the feelings that were here. Once we started talking about everything that is occurring in this season of life, it was actually very clear why I was experiencing so much sadness. My coach said two things to me that I feel are worth repeating…

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On the other side of fear…

On the other side of fear…

Last week, I wrote about fear, and I asked the provocative question: If you are not excited and scared, are you even living? I’ve been thinking a lot about fear since then. In August 2023, I wrote On the Other Side of Fear, and it feels important to share that story again. Over the coming weeks, I will share more thoughts on fear, and for now, I want to talk about what might be waiting on the other side of your fear…

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If you are not excited and scared, are you even living?

If you are not excited and scared, are you even living?

Two weeks ago, I had my introductory call to the Summer of Love Retreat I will be attending with Kendra Cover this Summer. I also launched THRIVE that same week. What stood out in both groups was that there was both fear and excitement. All the women who will be attending the Summer of Love Retreat (including myself) and the women in THRIVE expressed that they felt excited and scared at the same time. On the Summer of Love Retreat call, Kendra said something that got me thinking. She said, “If you are not excited and scared some of the time, are you even living?”

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Reflections of an Insecure Overachiever…

Reflections of an Insecure Overachiever…

In his book, Meditations for Mortals, Oliver Burkeman reasons that our hustle culture is created by the misunderstanding that our existence is insufficient reason to be happy and fulfilled. Some of us run on an often-unconscious belief that we “must prove that we are worthy to exist”. Burkeman describes it as starting each day in deficit of some productivity debt we believe we need to pay off, before we can relax. The trouble is that we never seem to be able to settle this productivity debt, because every time we achieve the impossible, reach the deadline, or finally manage to get slightly ahead, we realize that we now must keep maintaining this new standard of performance and achievement. Consequently, there is no end in sight, and we keep at it day after day, in the hopes that one day we will arrive at this elusive future where we finally feel “good enough” or like we have done enough. Unfortunately, that day is never coming, because we have set it up in a way that we can never get there…

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In Celebration of the Feminine…

In Celebration of the Feminine…

Last weekend I attended a two-day Intensive with Steve Chandler in Arizona. For those of you who don’t know, in some coaching circles Steve Chandler is referred to as “The Godfather of Coaching”. He has been a coach for forty years and brings a wealth of experience and wisdom to the work. Given his advanced age – he is 81 – I wanted to utilize the opportunity to be in the room with Steve, knowing that I might never get this opportunity again. I’ve been coached by Steve before, and even had the opportunity to interview him last October, and yet, this time was different. I was coming to the conversation, not as a wide-eyed beginner coach, excited to meet her hero, but as a professional coach who is also established in her work, and also brings wisdom and experience to the table. What struck me over the course of the two days was the absence of the feminine voice in the room. And I’m being deliberate and intentional with my choice of words here. What I’m longing to see more of in the coaching industry, is the emergence of the feminine voice…

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Certainty vs. Clarity

Certainty vs. Clarity

Do you believe you need certainty before you can take action? Today, I want to distinguish between certainty and clarity. The one is impossible to obtain, and the other is essential if you are truly going to thrive and stay committed to your most important goals.

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You don’t need to deserve to thrive to choose to thrive…

You don’t need to deserve to thrive to choose to thrive…

In a recent article I posed the question: What do you believe you deserve? Today I want to explore this question: What if there is a reason why you don’t question whether other people deserve to thrive? You see, our innate being is one of wellbeing and of thriving. We are meant to grow, learn, expand, flourish, thrive… It’s built into our DNA. If you consider how much a baby grows and learns in their first year of life, and how much can change in the first five years of life, you have witnessed the wonder of our innate ability to grow and thrive. What’s even more amazing, is how adaptable we are, and how our nervous systems will adapt to the environment we find ourselves in. We will cultivate behaviours that will help us survive in any environment, and over time, those behaviours become our habits and our patterns. Anything that is learnt, can be unlearnt...

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Do you find it hard to be who you are…?

Do you find it hard to be who you are…?

“It is easier to try to be better than you are, than to be who you are.” – This quote by Marian Woodman struck me. So often we treat ourselves like self-improvement projects, thinking that if we could only be better than we are, then everything would be the way we want it to be. If we could achieve that elusive level of perfection, then we would finally be happy, and have all the love, joy, and abundance we are craving… At least, I know this was true for me. I started working with my coach, with the hope that it would help me figure out what was wrong with me, and that I could then fix myself. My coach was unwilling to participate in that experiment, and she kept treating me as if there was nothing wrong with me. I was baffled. And now, seven years later, I get it. None of us are broken. We are simply disconnected from our true nature. We have allowed for so much conditioning to settle into our minds, hearts, and even bodies, that we have completely forgotten who we are...

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What do you believe you deserve?

What do you believe you deserve?

In 2024 I led a private coaching group called Living As If You Matter. At the completion of this group, I gave each of the participants a small silver journal. I invited them to treat the journal as a Dreams and Desires Journal and to write down 100 dreams, desires, longings, or wants in it. I also promised each of the participants a complimentary conversation if they wrote down their dreams and desires, and then reached out to me to let me know that they had completed their list. The other day I invited a client to guess how many women reached out to me after receiving their dreams and desire journals. My client said, “Well I would hope all of them reached out.” I asked her why, and she said that she would have a hard time coming up with a list of 100, and that she hoped someone else had the courage to come up with a list of 100… My client captured the essence of what I have heard over and over again during the past seven months in conversations with women about thriving. People are struggling to let themselves thrive. Why? It’s very simple really, they don’t believe that they deserve to...

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What is driving your desire for more?

What is driving your desire for more?

In my most recent article I talked about the drive to do more, and I questioned the desire for abundance. This may have left the impression with you that I’m saying that wanting more is bad. And that is not what I’m saying at all. Over the past three years, I have discovered that there are two kinds of desire for more…

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