Grit Archives - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

In Celebration of the Feminine…

Last weekend I attended a two-day Intensive with Steve Chandler in Arizona. For those of you who don’t know, in some coaching circles Steve Chandler is referred to as “The Godfather of Coaching”. He has been a coach for forty years and brings a wealth of experience and wisdom to the work. Given his advanced age – he is 81 – I wanted to utilize the opportunity to be in the room with Steve, knowing that I might never get this opportunity again.

I’ve been coached by Steve before, and even had the opportunity to interview him last October, and yet, this time was different. I was coming to the conversation, not as a wide-eyed beginner coach, excited to meet her hero, but as a professional coach who is also established in her work, and also brings wisdom and experience to the table.

What struck me over the course of the two days was the absence of the feminine voice in the room. And I’m being deliberate and intentional with my choice of words here. What I’m longing to see more of in the coaching industry, is the emergence of the feminine voice… […]

Certainty vs. Clarity

Posted on April 27, 2026By ChantalPosted in Bias for action / Commitment / Connection / Courage / Decision-Making / Dreaming / Emotional Agility / Failure / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Grief / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Planning / Purpose / Thriving / TransformationLeave a comment

Do you believe you need certainty before you can take action? Today, I want to distinguish between certainty and clarity. The one is impossible to obtain, and the other is essential if you are truly going to thrive and stay committed to your most important goals. […]

What is the opposite of scarcity?

Posted on March 25, 2026By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Fear / Gratitude / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Purpose / Resilience / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving

In a conversation with a client who is in the exploration of her own thriving, she mentioned how, in her incessant drive for more, she often mistakes momentum for meaning. And this is a symptom of living in a manic world driven by a scarcity mindset… Robert Holden calls this our destination addiction.

When we believe that there is not enough, that we are not enough, or that we will not have enough, we also inevitably believe that more is better, and we start to think that the whole point of life is to keep chasing more until we arrive at the ever-elusive destination where we finally “have it all”.

Lynne Twist reasons this is how we keep the scarcity mindset alive. We have been conditioned to focus on what we lack, not on what we already have. When we pay attention to what we lack, we inevitably believe that more is always better, and we act as if there is simply no other way to be in the world. This is just how it is. What we don’t see, is how we then trap ourselves on a hamster wheel that we can never escape… […]

What’s the relationships you have with your body?

Posted on March 21, 2026By ChantalPosted in Compassion / Courage / Gratitude / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Love / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Rejection / Self-care / Thinking / Thriving / Transformation1 Comment

This past weekend I spent time in a workshop with Michael Neill. It was a conversation about health, and it got me thinking about the relationship we have with our bodies. And so today, I want to invite you to consider: what is your current relationship with your body? […]

What does it mean to thrive?

Posted on March 4, 2026By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Bias for action / Commitment / Connection / Courage / Dreaming / Failure / Fear / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Story Matters / Thriving / Transformation / Values

Over the last two years I have sat with this question: What does it mean to thrive? I used to believe that if I could achieve enough outside success, then I would thrive.

When I started my coaching business, I read The Prosperous Coach, in the hopes that I could figure out how to prosper – which is another word for thrive. I was longing to find the secret to thriving / prospering / flourishing / expanding. And I will be honest, initially I thought that I would feel like I was thriving if I were making more money and if I was really successful in my business… […]

A year in the rear-view mirror

Posted on November 17, 2025By ChantalPosted in Completions / Courage / Emotional Agility / Failure / Fear / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Grief / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Purpose / Self-care / Slow down / Story Matters

At the end of each year, I complete a Year-End Review. I spend time looking back at the year in granular form. I go and look at one month and one week at a time. What am I looking for? I look at what was happening both personally and professionally. I look at my calendar and my business tracking to see who I was serving, where I was travelling to, and what felt important during each moment in time. I reflect on how I felt, and how I was relating to all that was occurring. Why do I do this?

I complete this detailed Year-End Review every year, because it gives me the opportunity to reflect on my life from a zoomed-out perspective with new knowledge that I didn’t have at the time that the events were occurring. It often has me change my perspective on the story I tell myself about the year I just had. And it ensures that I tell myself the truth instead of just holding on to a story… […]

It’s OK if you are NOT OK

Posted on November 2, 2025By ChantalPosted in Commitment / Compassion / Courage / Emotional Agility / Fear / Grief / Grit / In the muck / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindset / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking

A minor car accident a month ago was a wake-up call for me. It made me pause and had me face the truth of where I am right now. It’s been seven months since my father’s passing. Since then, my mother, my mother-in-law, and my father-in-law have all been ill this year. And the day before my birthday, my aunt passed away. I have felt myself reeling with shock and confusion over the past eight weeks. I wish I could tell you that I was wise and calm during these intense weeks, but I have not been wise and calm. Far from it. I have fallen into old defensive patterns in a futile attempt to make myself feel safe… […]

What’s the difference between self-improvement and self-growth?

Posted on January 21, 2025By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Bias for action / Commitment / Completions / Courage / Dreaming / Failure / Fear / Future Self / Goals / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Planning / Purpose / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving / Transformation

Usually in January we hear a lot of talk about goals, dreams, aspirations, ways that we are going to be better and do better. This time of year tends to be a time when there is a heavy focus on self-improvement. Although, I will say that this year, I feel like the energy is different. I don’t know if it’s only on my side of the world, or whether you have experienced something similar? And I’m attributing it to all that is occurring in the world at the moment – wars, elections, wildfires. One colleague said what I was thinking. He said, “It feels like it’s the pandemic all over again…”

I will share that that is certainly where my fear-based mind went immediately, because I remember that there were these out-of-control wildfires in Australia at the beginning of 2020 just before the pandemic really hit. And if you are feeling less inspired and excited this January, I want to invite you to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. My sense is that in many ways, we are still recovering from the trauma of the pandemic, and that our nervous systems are constantly bombarded with more things to process. And it’s a lot. It really is.

And this is why I want to discuss the difference between self-improvement and self-growth… […]

Self-care in times of chaos

Posted on September 17, 2024By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Commitment / Compassion / Courage / Decision-Making / Emotional Agility / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Grit / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Planning / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving / Time management

The energy in September tends to be similar to that of the start of the year. Once back from Summer break, people now need to recommit to work, and schedules, and often with the start of the new school year, and after having a break, we vow that we will start doing things differently…It’s interesting how I found myself in the first week of September, already wondering how I will get through the rest of September… Perhaps this feels familiar to you too? And yet, often, even when I feel less resourced, I find myself still pushing through. One of the stories running in the background was, “You can’t be tired now. You just came back from a vacation.”… […]

How and Why We Numb…

Posted on June 25, 2024By ChantalPosted in Compassion / Courage / Emotional Agility / Failure / Fear / Goals / Grit / In the muck / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Rejection / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving

Recently I shared how shame can get in the way of us living more wholeheartedly. Today I want to talk about numbing. All of us numb from time to time. Some of us numb more than others, and yet all of us numb. What does it mean to numb? Numbing is what we do to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings. It’s what we do when we are resisting feeling our true feelings about something. And usually, we resist our true feelings about something, because we have convinced ourselves that it would be too painful to feel our feelings, or that we might get overwhelmed by our feelings if we let ourselves feel them… […]