resilience Archives - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

How and Why We Numb…

Recently I shared how shame can get in the way of us living more wholeheartedly. Today I want to talk about numbing. All of us numb from time to time. Some of us numb more than others, and yet all of us numb. What does it mean to numb? Numbing is what we do to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings. It’s what we do when we are resisting feeling our true feelings about something. And usually, we resist our true feelings about something, because we have convinced ourselves that it would be too painful to feel our feelings, or that we might get overwhelmed by our feelings if we let ourselves feel them… […]

What “finishing strong” really means

Posted on November 27, 2023By ChantalPosted in Bias for action / Commitment / Completions / Courage / Dreaming / Goals / Grit / In the muck / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Mindset / Planning / Purpose / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down

As I write this, Christmas is exactly 30 days away. And the New Year is 37 days away. Something that tends to be a popular topic of conversation – or perhaps I experience it that way because I’m a coach – is how will you finish the year strong? I’m a big fan of finishing the year strong. I’m not someone who stops before reaching the finish line. And, just like with the concept of Christmas, the concept of “finishing strong” might hold different meanings for different people… […]

Worry is a misuse of the imagination

Posted on October 10, 2023By ChantalPosted in Bias for action / Courage / Emotional Agility / Fear / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Planning / Resilience / Slow down / Thinking

Recently I asked whether your permacrisis has become a state of being? I received quite the response from this community about that article. And so today, I want to say more about it from a different perspective. I want to talk about worry and anxiety. […]

On the other side of fear…

Posted on August 14, 2023By ChantalPosted in Bias for action / Commitment / Courage / Decision-Making / Dreaming / Failure / Fear / Future Self / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Thinking / Transformation

The other day on my morning walk, I came across three deer. They wanted to get past me to the other side of a set of stairs. Their fear prevented them from doing so. And this got me thinking. Isn’t this just how we are as humans? We reach a fork in the road of life. We are faced with a transition or a challenge in our lives. We tell ourselves we want to change, and yet we stay frozen right there in the middle of the road, too afraid to take the next step. We consider what might be on the other side. We take a few small steps forward; only to take three big steps back again, when things start shifting… […]

What is rest anyway?

Posted on May 22, 2023By ChantalPosted in Goals / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Purpose / Self-care / Slow down / Time management

In a recent article I spoke about unhealthy striving. I pointed out that we live in a society of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired and burnt-out individuals. I shared how often we wear a lack of sleep as a badge of honour. People often pride themselves on how little sleep they are getting and how much they are getting done, without realising that “functioning” on only a few hours of sleep per night, is equivalent to driving under the influence of alcohol.

However, have you ever tried to fix a persistent lack of energy by sleeping more only to sleep and still wake up feeling exhausted? The reason for this is that sleep and rest are NOT the same thing. We tend to incorrectly assume that to rest means to sleep. Yet sleep is but ONE form or rest.

So, in the spirit of truly slowing down to take stock, I want to talk about rest… […]

Striving, yet not thriving

Posted on May 2, 2023By ChantalPosted in Bias for action / Coaching / Commitment / Failure / Future Self / Goals / Grit / In the muck / Leadership / Life / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Purpose / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving

Recently, I posed the question, can you handle the effort shock? And there was quite a reaction to that article. So, today, I want to speak to those of us (myself included) who tend to overdo it and who tend to not know where the line is between effort and burnout. […]

Can you handle the Effort Shock?

Posted on April 11, 2023By ChantalPosted in Bias for action / Commitment / Courage / Failure / Future Self / Goals / Grit / In the muck / Leadership / Life / Perspective / Purpose / Resilience / Thriving1 Comment

Recently I wrote about what it means to be a hero. Something I did not touch on is just how hard it is to create a life that is different and resonant; just how much effort goes into creating a meaningful and fulfilling life. My sense is that my last article could have perhaps left you confused. I shared that heroes are not special in some way. They are not extraordinary. They don’t have special powers. They are simply ordinary people doing extraordinary things. If this is true, then why do so few of us take up the challenge? Why are we not all the heroes of our own story?

The answer is Effort Shock. Let me explain… […]

What does it mean to be a Hero?

Posted on March 28, 2023By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Bias for action / Courage / Failure / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Resilience / Story Matters1 Comment

What is a hero? Marvel and DC have taught us that heroes are special. They have incredible strength and supernatural powers, and they perform outrageous acts of courage. So, we tend to think that an average person can’t possibly be a hero. Heroes are special somehow, so they can’t be average people…

We forget to be our own heroes in life. We forget that we get to create who we want to be in the world… […]

What if rejection is redirection?

Posted on January 24, 2022By ChantalPosted in Courage / Emotional Agility / Failure / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Mindset / Perspective / Rejection / Resilience / Thriving

We’ve all been there. You ask out that person that you can’t get out of your mind, and they say no. You apply for that dream job, and it’s a no. You apply for a loan, or make an offer on a new house, or negotiate on a car, and it’s a no. You send in a proposal, apply to the university you would love to get into, send in an article to a big publication, and they say no. Rejection. It’s stings. Sometimes, it deflates you so much that you simply want to give up.

None of us get through life without being rejected along the way. For some, the rejection may have started early in life. You may have felt rejected by your parents, or your family, or your friends. For others, they are so used to getting a yes to everything they ask for, that the first rejection floors them completely.

When I started working with my coach, she introduced me to Steve Chandler’s work. Something he says often is, “yes lives in the land of no”… […]

Starting over…

Posted on January 16, 2022By ChantalPosted in Courage / Decision-Making / Emotional Agility / Failure / Grit / In the muck / Life / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Transformation1 Comment

As someone who has left my home country and immigrated to another country, I’m often in conversation with people who are considering immigration. And one of the most popular “excuses” I hear for why someone cannot leave or why they are resistant to the idea of immigrating is, “I can’t start over”. The fear of giving up everything they had built and moving to a place they don’t know to start over from scratch, terrifies them.

And I get it. I was there too. In fact, I had ignorantly underestimated how traumatic it would be to uproot my entire life and to start again somewhere else. Now perhaps – PERHAPS – the fact that I have had to start over many, many times in my life, gave me the courage to take on the adventure of immigrating.

AND I want to point out here that there is also a false belief holding you stuck if you are scared of starting over. […]