Resilience Archives - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Where and how are you adding value without seeing it?

Just before the completion of the Coaching Leadership Mastermind I did with my coach, she invited the group to consider where, in which dimensions of our lives, we added value either to ourselves or to others in the past 24 hours. We worked through The Wheel of Life and considered which dimensions of our lives were enriched in the past 24 hours?

Then my coach invited us to reflect on the past week, and consider where in the past week we add value to either ourselves or others? Lastly, she invited us to review the whole month and consider in a deeper way where did we add value to ourselves or others over the past month? […]

The Paradox of Self-Improvement

Posted on October 16, 2024By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Connection / Courage / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Resilience / Self-care / Thinking / Thriving / Transformation

Something that we all share as human beings, is the desire for learning and growth. It’s built into our DNA to want to learn and grow. If you don’t believe me, simply spend some time with babies and you will see it. We learn more in the first year of life than in any other time in our lives. We are simply geared towards learning, because learning things helps us survive, and even once we have figured out how to survive, learning helps us go from merely surviving to thriving. If you consider the technological advancement of humanity, it becomes quite evident that we want to grow, learn, and expand. We almost can’t help ourselves.

What I’m most baffled by though is how our natural instinct for learning and growth then starts morphing into a need for self-improvement and/or self-betterment, and then sometimes even morphing into an obsession with perfectionism. The idea of self-improvement has been with us for centuries. Even the great philosophers advocated for continuous self-improvement. And yet, I feel like there is a tipping point where self-improvement becomes toxic… […]

Self-care in times of chaos

Posted on September 17, 2024By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Commitment / Compassion / Courage / Decision-Making / Emotional Agility / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Grit / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Planning / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving / Time management

The energy in September tends to be similar to that of the start of the year. Once back from Summer break, people now need to recommit to work, and schedules, and often with the start of the new school year, and after having a break, we vow that we will start doing things differently…It’s interesting how I found myself in the first week of September, already wondering how I will get through the rest of September… Perhaps this feels familiar to you too? And yet, often, even when I feel less resourced, I find myself still pushing through. One of the stories running in the background was, “You can’t be tired now. You just came back from a vacation.”… […]

How and Why We Numb…

Posted on June 25, 2024By ChantalPosted in Compassion / Courage / Emotional Agility / Failure / Fear / Goals / Grit / In the muck / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Rejection / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving

Recently I shared how shame can get in the way of us living more wholeheartedly. Today I want to talk about numbing. All of us numb from time to time. Some of us numb more than others, and yet all of us numb. What does it mean to numb? Numbing is what we do to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings. It’s what we do when we are resisting feeling our true feelings about something. And usually, we resist our true feelings about something, because we have convinced ourselves that it would be too painful to feel our feelings, or that we might get overwhelmed by our feelings if we let ourselves feel them… […]

What’s Your Relationship to Failure?

Posted on March 31, 2024By ChantalPosted in Commitment / Compassion / Courage / Emotional Agility / Failure / Fear / Future Self / Goals / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Rejection / Resilience / Thinking / Transformation / Values

How do you relate to failure? Do you believe failure is an essential part of success? Or do you believe that failure is to be avoided at all costs? How we relate to failure hugely impacts our openness and willingness towards risk taking and trying new things. If we see failure as something that is “bad” and that needs to be avoided at all costs, we will be less open to taking risks or trying things that are new, different, unfamiliar, or out of our comfort zone. However, if we believe that failure is part of the process, and that success without failure isn’t possible, we would be more willing to fail. […]

What “finishing strong” really means

Posted on November 27, 2023By ChantalPosted in Bias for action / Commitment / Completions / Courage / Dreaming / Goals / Grit / In the muck / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Mindset / Planning / Purpose / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down

As I write this, Christmas is exactly 30 days away. And the New Year is 37 days away. Something that tends to be a popular topic of conversation – or perhaps I experience it that way because I’m a coach – is how will you finish the year strong? I’m a big fan of finishing the year strong. I’m not someone who stops before reaching the finish line. And, just like with the concept of Christmas, the concept of “finishing strong” might hold different meanings for different people… […]

Worry is a misuse of the imagination

Posted on October 10, 2023By ChantalPosted in Bias for action / Courage / Emotional Agility / Fear / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Planning / Resilience / Slow down / Thinking

Recently I asked whether your permacrisis has become a state of being? I received quite the response from this community about that article. And so today, I want to say more about it from a different perspective. I want to talk about worry and anxiety. […]

On the other side of fear…

Posted on August 14, 2023By ChantalPosted in Bias for action / Commitment / Courage / Decision-Making / Dreaming / Failure / Fear / Future Self / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Thinking / Transformation

The other day on my morning walk, I came across three deer. They wanted to get past me to the other side of a set of stairs. Their fear prevented them from doing so. And this got me thinking. Isn’t this just how we are as humans? We reach a fork in the road of life. We are faced with a transition or a challenge in our lives. We tell ourselves we want to change, and yet we stay frozen right there in the middle of the road, too afraid to take the next step. We consider what might be on the other side. We take a few small steps forward; only to take three big steps back again, when things start shifting… […]

Striving, yet not thriving

Posted on May 2, 2023By ChantalPosted in Bias for action / Coaching / Commitment / Failure / Future Self / Goals / Grit / In the muck / Leadership / Life / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Purpose / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking / Thriving

Recently, I posed the question, can you handle the effort shock? And there was quite a reaction to that article. So, today, I want to speak to those of us (myself included) who tend to overdo it and who tend to not know where the line is between effort and burnout. […]

Can you handle the Effort Shock?

Posted on April 11, 2023By ChantalPosted in Bias for action / Commitment / Courage / Failure / Future Self / Goals / Grit / In the muck / Leadership / Life / Perspective / Purpose / Resilience / Thriving1 Comment

Recently I wrote about what it means to be a hero. Something I did not touch on is just how hard it is to create a life that is different and resonant; just how much effort goes into creating a meaningful and fulfilling life. My sense is that my last article could have perhaps left you confused. I shared that heroes are not special in some way. They are not extraordinary. They don’t have special powers. They are simply ordinary people doing extraordinary things. If this is true, then why do so few of us take up the challenge? Why are we not all the heroes of our own story?

The answer is Effort Shock. Let me explain… […]