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What do you believe you deserve?

In 2024 I led a private coaching group called Living As If You Matter. At the completion of this group, I gave each of the participants a small silver journal. I invited them to treat the journal as a Dreams and Desires Journal and to write down 100 dreams, desires, longings, or wants in it. I also promised each of the participants a complimentary conversation if they wrote down their dreams and desires, and then reached out to me to let me know that they had completed their list. The other day I invited a client to guess how many women reached out to me after receiving their dreams and desire journals. My client said, “Well I would hope all of them reached out.” I asked her why, and she said that she would have a hard time coming up with a list of 100, and that she hoped someone else had the courage to come up with a list of 100… My client captured the essence of what I have heard over and over again during the past seven months in conversations with women about thriving. People are struggling to let themselves thrive. Why? It’s very simple really, they don’t believe that they deserve to...

April 6, 2026 Read more →

What to do when you feel overwhelmed – Take 10…

I’m not someone who tends to write about the steps you need to take to overcome something, or fix something, and today I want to talk about something Alison Armstrong shared that landed and resonated deeply. And it’s directly connected to our willingness to let ourselves grow, stretch, and ultimately thrive… So, I hope you will indulge me in sharing with you what you could do if you are currently feeling overwhelmed.

March 23, 2026 Read more →

What’s the relationships you have with your body?

This past weekend I spent time in a workshop with Michael Neill. It was a conversation about health, and it got me thinking about the relationship we have with our bodies. And so today, I want to invite you to consider: what is your current relationship with your body?

March 21, 2026 Read more →

When do you let yourself rest?

I discovered the practice of Bhava Yoga in October last year. I was looking for something that would support me in being in my body to release all the intense grief I have been carrying this past year. Many years ago, one of my Yoga teachers said that we come back to Yoga when we are in pain – whether that is physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual pain. I have found this to be true. This time, I was coming to Yoga to work through my mental, emotional, and spiritual pain after losing my father, and walking through one of the most difficult years of my life in my marriage. Over the past 12 months, there have been days where it has felt impossible to get out of bed, and yet, I got up. I have to, because I have small humans who depend on me. However, I also understood that I could not show up for them if I wasn’t resourced. So, Bhava Yoga has become non-negotiable. It has become a way that I return to the sacred...

March 13, 2026 Read more →

What is Love?

Today large parts of the world are celebrating Valentine’s Day. I find it so strange that we live in a world where we have commercialised everything to the point that even the most important things in our lives can lose their meaning and significance. I have always found the idea of Valentine’s Day a little absurd since love cannot be bought or sold. Love is not a commodity. And creating a day where we remind people of their own loneliness, disconnection, and insecurities seems like the opposite of loving to me. It seems almost cruel. I’m not saying don’t appreciate your significant other, but I am questioning why you need a reminder to do that, or why they only get to be seen and celebrated on ONE day of the year. Love isn’t a feeling either. The feeling you feel when you say that you are in love, is infatuation, desire, or lust. Love, real love, is an ACTION. Love is a way of being in the world. It’s the opposite of judgement.

February 14, 2026 Read more →

Are you trying to do it all?

December always feels like paradox. Most of the world seems to be winding down, and somehow things are speeding up at the same time. In the Northern hemisphere, there can be a longing for cozy evenings in front of the fireplace, comfort food, and warm blankets. In the Southern hemisphere, there is the longing for lazy days on the beach, or around the pool, barbeques, and Xmas parties. Yet, I also hear from people that their inboxes are running over, they are drowning under urgent deadlines, and organisations are hurriedly trying to complete planning for the new year. There is an increased urgency to get things done, and completed, and a tension between desperately wanting rest, and feeling like you can’t rest yet. With children in the mix too, the holiday season can feel anything but relaxing and restful. Often there is no childcare available, and you are scurrying to figure out how you will keep your children entertained or occupied. And somehow you have unknowingly also taken responsibility for ensuring that there is “holiday magic”? When did that get added to the list? And why is it even a requirement? The core leadership challenge that no-one talks about, is not strategy, planning, or systems, but rather how to navigate the internal negotiation between your energy or capacity, and outside expectations. And that is why today I want to talk about capacity...

December 15, 2025 Read more →

A year in the rear-view mirror

At the end of each year, I complete a Year-End Review. I spend time looking back at the year in granular form. I go and look at one month and one week at a time. What am I looking for? I look at what was happening both personally and professionally. I look at my calendar and my business tracking to see who I was serving, where I was travelling to, and what felt important during each moment in time. I reflect on how I felt, and how I was relating to all that was occurring. Why do I do this? I complete this detailed Year-End Review every year, because it gives me the opportunity to reflect on my life from a zoomed-out perspective with new knowledge that I didn’t have at the time that the events were occurring. It often has me change my perspective on the story I tell myself about the year I just had. And it ensures that I tell myself the truth instead of just holding on to a story...

November 17, 2025 Read more →

The value of facing our Demons…

I want to start this article a little differently to how I would usually start a post. I want to start by sharing this funny video that captures my evolution with KPop Demon Hunters in 15 seconds. And if you don’t know what KPop Demon Hunters are, welcome to the movement. May it inspire you as much as it has inspired me. If you are not a fan, that is totally fine too. I feel a little sad for you. And, you don’t need to a be fan, or even have watched the movie, to get value from this article. It’s just my starting point, and it doesn't need to be yours. So, just hang in here with me for a little bit as I provide some background to why this movie, why this article, and why now?

November 12, 2025 Read more →

It’s OK if you are NOT OK

A minor car accident a month ago was a wake-up call for me. It made me pause and had me face the truth of where I am right now. It’s been seven months since my father’s passing. Since then, my mother, my mother-in-law, and my father-in-law have all been ill this year. And the day before my birthday, my aunt passed away. I have felt myself reeling with shock and confusion over the past eight weeks. I wish I could tell you that I was wise and calm during these intense weeks, but I have not been wise and calm. Far from it. I have fallen into old defensive patterns in a futile attempt to make myself feel safe…

November 2, 2025 Read more →

Are you judging how you are showing up?

During the Summer I took a trip to Whistler with my family. Whistler is a town north of Vancouver, British Columbia, that's home to Whistler Blackcomb, one of the largest ski resorts in North America. People go there to ski in the Winter, and they go there for adventure biking in the Summer. There is a cable-car (gondola) that takes you up Whistler Mountain. Additionally, there is another gondola that takes you between the two peaks of Whistler Mountain and Blackcomb Mountain. This is called the Peak-to-Peak gondola and is an epic ride up the mountain. Once you are half-way up Whistler Mountain, there is an option to take an open chairlift to the peak of Whistler Mountain. The Peak Express chairlift is your access to the Top of the World Summit, Cloudraker Skybridge and Raven's Eye Lookout. This chairlift ride is an exhilarating experience that takes you over top of an ancient glacier while cresting over a 100-foot vertical cliff at the top. I have a morbid fear of falling – not heights, I’m pretty ok with being high up. I’m terrified of falling though, so I don’t like feeling like I might fall. So, going up the mountain in an open chairlift was not an option I was even considering. It was clear in my mind that that was something I could not do...

September 15, 2025 Read more →

The significance of 9/11

Today, the day that everyone remembers as 9/11, is also my father’s birthday. And I find it fitting that his birthday is on a day that has had such historical significance for those of us who were alive on 11 September 2001. That day started like any other day and so many people did not get to see the end of that day… And I remember exactly where I was on that day... This year, on what would have been my father’s 69th birthday, there are three things I’m doing differently that stem directly from deep life lessons learnt in watching my father suffer in his final days and losing him.

September 11, 2025 Read more →

Who do you become when faced with what matters most to you?

A few weeks ago, in conversation with a client, she asked a powerful question: How do I know what my truth is? The answer to that question is multi-layered. Here’s why…

May 28, 2025 Read more →

Grief is Love in its rawest and purest form…

My dear beloved community, I have not written to you since January. In fact, I have not written much in months. And my writing today comes from a tender and vulnerable place as I choose to share what has been unfolding in my life that has prevented me from sharing my regular newsletter with you.

April 28, 2025 Read more →

What’s the difference between self-improvement and self-growth?

Usually in January we hear a lot of talk about goals, dreams, aspirations, ways that we are going to be better and do better. This time of year tends to be a time when there is a heavy focus on self-improvement. Although, I will say that this year, I feel like the energy is different. I don’t know if it’s only on my side of the world, or whether you have experienced something similar? And I’m attributing it to all that is occurring in the world at the moment – wars, elections, wildfires. One colleague said what I was thinking. He said, “It feels like it’s the pandemic all over again...” I will share that that is certainly where my fear-based mind went immediately, because I remember that there were these out-of-control wildfires in Australia at the beginning of 2020 just before the pandemic really hit. And if you are feeling less inspired and excited this January, I want to invite you to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. My sense is that in many ways, we are still recovering from the trauma of the pandemic, and that our nervous systems are constantly bombarded with more things to process. And it’s a lot. It really is. And this is why I want to discuss the difference between self-improvement and self-growth...

January 21, 2025 Read more →

Guilt is not a feeling

These past few weeks I’ve been riddled with guilt, so much so that my guilt would wake me up in the middle of the night, and I would feel my heart beating in my chest, and my mind racing with worry. So often, my clients share how they carry their own guilt for choices they’ve made, especially when others do not approve of those choices. Recently, I had a deep conversation with my coach about guilt, and I had a profound insight that has changed the way I see my guilt. And I want to share with you here what I’ve learnt about guilt...

December 17, 2024 Read more →

Where and how are you adding value without seeing it?

Just before the completion of the Coaching Leadership Mastermind I did with my coach, she invited the group to consider where, in which dimensions of our lives, we added value either to ourselves or to others in the past 24 hours. We worked through The Wheel of Life and considered which dimensions of our lives were enriched in the past 24 hours? Then my coach invited us to reflect on the past week, and consider where in the past week we add value to either ourselves or others? Lastly, she invited us to review the whole month and consider in a deeper way where did we add value to ourselves or others over the past month?

November 4, 2024 Read more →

The Paradox of Self-Improvement

Something that we all share as human beings, is the desire for learning and growth. It’s built into our DNA to want to learn and grow. If you don’t believe me, simply spend some time with babies and you will see it. We learn more in the first year of life than in any other time in our lives. We are simply geared towards learning, because learning things helps us survive, and even once we have figured out how to survive, learning helps us go from merely surviving to thriving. If you consider the technological advancement of humanity, it becomes quite evident that we want to grow, learn, and expand. We almost can’t help ourselves. What I’m most baffled by though is how our natural instinct for learning and growth then starts morphing into a need for self-improvement and/or self-betterment, and then sometimes even morphing into an obsession with perfectionism. The idea of self-improvement has been with us for centuries. Even the great philosophers advocated for continuous self-improvement. And yet, I feel like there is a tipping point where self-improvement becomes toxic...

October 16, 2024 Read more →

Self-care in times of chaos

The energy in September tends to be similar to that of the start of the year. Once back from Summer break, people now need to recommit to work, and schedules, and often with the start of the new school year, and after having a break, we vow that we will start doing things differently...It’s interesting how I found myself in the first week of September, already wondering how I will get through the rest of September… Perhaps this feels familiar to you too? And yet, often, even when I feel less resourced, I find myself still pushing through. One of the stories running in the background was, “You can’t be tired now. You just came back from a vacation.”...

September 17, 2024 Read more →

How and Why We Numb…

Recently I shared how shame can get in the way of us living more wholeheartedly. Today I want to talk about numbing. All of us numb from time to time. Some of us numb more than others, and yet all of us numb. What does it mean to numb? Numbing is what we do to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings. It’s what we do when we are resisting feeling our true feelings about something. And usually, we resist our true feelings about something, because we have convinced ourselves that it would be too painful to feel our feelings, or that we might get overwhelmed by our feelings if we let ourselves feel them...

June 25, 2024 Read more →

How we overcome shame, is we own our story

In April, I shared with you about the launch of my private six-month coaching group called Living As If You Matter. This group is all about living as if you truly matter, or as Brené Brown would put it, wholehearted living. Today I want to talk about what gets in the way of living more wholeheartedly or living as if you matter, and the antidote to it. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown explains that the biggest thing that gets in the way of us living more fully as our true selves, or living as if we really matter, is something that we all experience – shame. Shame is that warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough. It’s the feeling that makes us want to hide or run away. It’s what sometimes makes us overreact in certain situations. According to Brené Brown, “Shame is basically the fear of being unlovable… Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love, belonging, and connection.”

June 3, 2024 Read more →

The Gifts of Imperfection

A while ago I wrote an article about what your perfectionism is really trying to tell you. Perfectionism is a misunderstanding that we need to earn our self-worth or prove that we are enough or worthy. The truth is that you came into this world worthy and then got disconnected from that truth over time. So, embracing your imperfections is a way that you can choose to reclaim your inherent worthiness...

April 16, 2024 Read more →

What Your Perfectionism is Really Trying to Tell You…

I have shared about my experiences with perfectionism before in my writing about a Perfection Detox: Learning to trust yourself and I have shared how I battle with my P Twins – i.e., Perfectionism and Pleasing – whenever I am navigating important situations or events in my life. Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting everything to be clean and neat, or orderly. Perfectionism can take different forms, and often people who are perfectionists, see their perfectionism as a moral compass or guideline to measure their personal “goodness” as a person. In other words, somewhere they internalised the message that they are only a good person, or lovable when they are perfect. This of course sets you up for a lifetime of struggle, frustration, and failure, because there is no such thing as the perfect person who always does everything right. So, you end up living in constant fear that someone will discover that you are not perfect, and that you will be ostracised from the very groups of people you are trying to belong with.

February 27, 2024 Read more →

Take this with you into the last days of 2023

Earlier this week, I sent out what I thought would be my last newsletter for this year, and then two things happened yesterday that had me feel compelled to write to you all... First, I had a conversation with a client yesterday where she shared with me the awakening and transformation she had experienced over the past two years. The second thing that happened yesterday, is that I attended a Quarrtsiluni session with a colleague who was generous enough to invite me to his event.

December 22, 2023 Read more →

Rest is part of the work. It’s not the reward for hard work.

There are two times of year that I find quite intriguing. The one is just before the Summer holidays and the other is just before the Winter break for Xmas and New Year’s. People tend to get into a frenzy to “wrap everything up” or “get everything done” before they “take a break”. And some people treat their “break” as a “to do” item on their to-do list. My sense is that this is a symptom of the society we live in – a world that is always on and always on the go. I firmly believe that we are not built for speed. Human beings are not meant to be moving at the pace that we are moving in this world right now. Here is why...

December 17, 2023 Read more →

What if Perfection is not required this holiday season?

Last year, at the start of the holiday season, I asked whether you would be inviting the Twin P’s over for dinner this holiday? It seems that many of us – especially women and caregivers – turn in to control freaks during the holiday season. We become frantic and tend to experience a tremendous sense of overwhelm, because we believe it’s our job to create “the perfect holiday celebration” for our family. What that usually looks like, is we want everything to be perfect – whatever that means? – we refuse to ask for or accept help from others, and we become control freaks, so we become impossible to be around. But what if it doesn't have to be this way?

December 7, 2023 Read more →

What “finishing strong” really means

As I write this, Christmas is exactly 30 days away. And the New Year is 37 days away. Something that tends to be a popular topic of conversation – or perhaps I experience it that way because I’m a coach – is how will you finish the year strong? I’m a big fan of finishing the year strong. I’m not someone who stops before reaching the finish line. And, just like with the concept of Christmas, the concept of “finishing strong” might hold different meanings for different people…

November 27, 2023 Read more →

How to have a good birthday

It was my birthday last week, and I had the most incredible birthday. I used to hate birthdays. I used to want to avoid my birthday at all costs. And for the past three years, I have had really amazing and joyful birthdays. So, I want to share briefly what has changed for me, and why it’s important.

October 30, 2023 Read more →

The real reason why you matter…

In a recent newsletter, Amber Krzys spoke about the true meaning of integrity, and her article really resonated with me. Integrity has been a core value of mine for most of my life. Amber shares that for most of her life, she thought that integrity meant keeping your word. Even though this is true, there is also a deeper meaning to integrity...

October 16, 2023 Read more →

How much are you “shoulding” on yourself?

I recently shared what I had learnt from watching the Barbie movie. And the key insight I shared was how we put labels on ourselves or how we identify with certain labels without considering that perhaps they are just that – labels. And the label we assign ourselves or get assigned by others, could never really fully capture who we are, because we are so much more than the labels. In that article I pointed out that each of us have a responsibility to know who we are outside the system of rules we have created for ourselves. And today I want to talk more about the rules we create for ourselves. A lot of these rules operate unconsciously, and yet, they dictate how we live our lives, so they are worth investigating...

September 19, 2023 Read more →

What is rest anyway?

In a recent article I spoke about unhealthy striving. I pointed out that we live in a society of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired and burnt-out individuals. I shared how often we wear a lack of sleep as a badge of honour. People often pride themselves on how little sleep they are getting and how much they are getting done, without realising that “functioning” on only a few hours of sleep per night, is equivalent to driving under the influence of alcohol. However, have you ever tried to fix a persistent lack of energy by sleeping more only to sleep and still wake up feeling exhausted? The reason for this is that sleep and rest are NOT the same thing. We tend to incorrectly assume that to rest means to sleep. Yet sleep is but ONE form or rest. So, in the spirit of truly slowing down to take stock, I want to talk about rest...

May 22, 2023 Read more →

Striving, yet not thriving

Recently, I posed the question, can you handle the effort shock? And there was quite a reaction to that article. So, today, I want to speak to those of us (myself included) who tend to overdo it and who tend to not know where the line is between effort and burnout.

May 2, 2023 Read more →

Morning Routines

I recently read an interesting article by Sarah K. Peck, a fellow coach and mompreneur, where she questioned the value of morning routines. She highlighted how morning routines have become very popular. These days many famous and successful people attribute their success to a solid morning routine. However, does your morning routine really support you in who you want to become?

September 6, 2022 Read more →

Reconnecting with a sense of hopefulness

As a coach, a big part of my job, is to instill hopefulness and inspiration in my clients. My job is to help them see a different perspective so that they feel empowered to move forward in a difficult situation. I can’t solve my client’s problems for them, but they can navigate their problems with grace, if they feel like they have a choice. And you always have a choice, even if you are not seeing it right now in this moment. So, given that I am the custodian of hope for my clients, how do I stay hopeful during times of chaos and frustration?

March 15, 2022 Read more →

Love is an action

I find it so strange that we live in a world where we have commercialised everything to the point that even the most important things in our lives can lose their meaning and significance. I have always found the idea of Valentine’s Day a little absurd since love cannot be bought or sold. Love is not a commodity. And creating a day where we remind people of their own loneliness, disconnection, and insecurities seems like the opposite of loving to me. It seems almost cruel. I’m not saying don’t appreciate your significant other, but I am questioning why you need a reminder to do that, or why they only get to be seen and celebrated on ONE day of the year. Love isn’t a feeling either. The feeling you feel when you say that you are in love, is infatuation, desire, or lust. But love, real love is an ACT. Love is a way of being in the world. It’s the opposite of judgement. When I choose to show up in loving, I’m choosing to suspend judgement and to truly see the essence of the person in front of me.

February 14, 2022 Read more →

When you are serious about real transformation, the time of year is of no consequence

I always find this time of year intriguing. For some reason, people attach tremendous value to counting down towards the new year. For some it even evokes tremendous pressure to create “the perfect New Years celebration”. We convince ourselves that we get to leave the past behind and start with a clean slate. We get to start over. Be better. Dream. Set goals. Go for it this time. And really make the changes we say we want. However, you are still the same person you were one minute after midnight than one minute before midnight; unless some fundamental life-changing event transpired in the span of two minutes… The way I see it, waiting for the new year before setting those goals or making those changes you’ve been procrastinating on for weeks, months, sometimes even years, is just another way of continuing to make excuses and procrastinating or stalling longer on the things you know you need to change in your life. It’s another way of saying, I don’t really want to make this change. I’m not serious about it. If you truly WANT the change, the time of day, week, month, or year would be of no consequence. Your time here on earth is finite. And even more than that, you don’t know when your time will run out. What if you don’t make it to the new year?

January 3, 2022 Read more →

Why it serves you to do a year-end review

Most businesses are familiar with year-end reviews. However, I’m also an advocate for a personal year-end review. I first learned about the idea of a personal year-end review from Sarah Peck. And what I appreciate about her approach is that it is not simply about going through your list of goals to identify which ones you hit and which ones you failed to hit. No, rather a year-end review is a slowed down, deep reflection about your year. It's an invitation to identify what you celebrate about this year, what you are most proud of, what you've learnt, and how you've grown over the last year. Looking back over your year also helps you put into perspective the year ahead and where you want to focus your energy in the year ahead. I will share two methods here with you for doing your personal year-end review.

December 13, 2021 Read more →

Self-care is Soul care

At our deepest soul level, we all yearn to be seen and heard. We all yearn to love and to be loved; to understand and to be understood by others. These core needs cannot be fulfilled by accumulating consumer goods or gorging on different forms of frivolous entertainment, or even through comfort or leisure. In fact, some of our deepest soul needs are fed by being in the discomfort of our lives, by stretching ourselves further than we thought possible, by challenging ourselves, and by inviting those around us to also show up better. And this is also where a lot of confusion seeps in when we start talking about self-care, because people sometimes confuse self-care for leisure, or self-indulgence, or pampering yourself. And real deep self-care is NOT that.

November 13, 2021 Read more →

Become a Cycle Breaker

One of the most important lessons I’ve learnt in my time working with my coach, is to appreciate that things in my life happen FOR me, not TO me. Everything in your life can be used for your growth and learning. EVERYTHING. Even the things that seem insignificant. And most especially the things that cause you the most frustration and heartache. I feel compelled to share something vulnerable with you here. Healing from abuse, neglect, trauma, and violence is never easy. Sometimes it requires heroic effort to not fall into self-destructive patterns. It requires self-awareness, a deep inner knowing that things can and will be better, and that you are capable of change. It requires committed effort to learning, growing, healing, forgiving, and to never stop trying.

August 30, 2021 Read more →

Fierce loving and Emotional agility

Traditionally, emotions were viewed as either good or bad. People actively work to avoid feeling any of the so-called “bad” emotions. And in some cultures, even the active expression of what could be considered “good” emotions is discouraged. In some cultures, if someone is overly enthusiastic or exuberant, they are told to quiet down or to stop over-reacting, or to behave. Susan David, author of the ground-breaking book, Emotional Agility, believes that this traditional, black-and-white approach to emotions is too rigid. In her view a too rigid view of emotions limits our potential, gets us stuck, and could potentially be truly toxic; especially given the complexity of life we face every day. For this reason, she advocates for emotional agility if we are to truly thrive and remain resilient.

July 26, 2021 Read more →

Life Lessons from Running

I didn’t become a runner until much later in my life. At school I never considered myself an athlete by any stretch of the imagination. I was active, but not competitive – not in sports any way. Athleticism was simply not incorporated into my self-image at the time. I was highly academic and pursued many cultural activities too, but sports were always this thing I sort of dabbled in, for the sake of team spirit, but never really because I thought I could be any good at it. I took up running after burning out in my academic job and realising that I needed to find more balance in my life. I was over-worked, underpaid, and very unfit. I was not enjoying my life, and I was looking for a way to increase my level of activity and handle my stress better. I wanted to share my running story here, because running has taught me so much about life. There are some incredible life lessons to take away from running and I would like to share them with you here.

June 13, 2021 Read more →

You don’t need to burn out to succeed

Susan David highlights that success — in life, in work, in creative pursuits — is often synonymous with keeping our noses to the grindstone as we rack up the requisite 10 000 hours of mastery that Malcolm Gladwell popularised. There are many reasons to celebrate grit. The things we value most in life, like meaningful relationships, and pursuing work that matter to us, or building the requisite skill to thrive in life and work, those things require commitment and persistence to get you through challenging times. Sometimes persisting even when faced with failure and disappointment, delivers incredible results in terms of innovation or personal growth and transformation. However, despite its many virtues, it is possible to overvalue grittiness. Susan David postulates that the self-awareness to know when to quit is just as important as the discipline to hold on and grit your way through. There are times in your life, when perseverance doesn’t lead to you thriving, but instead to you burning out. Perseverance is a necessary ingredient for human thriving, but we must be thoughtful about what we’re persevering at and why.

May 31, 2021 Read more →

How to create a good day

A powerful coaching question I often pose to clients is “What does your ideal day look like?” or “What would constitute a perfect day for you?” This is one way to get someone to think about what they would like their life to look like day by day, or to consciously think about how they would want to create their life one day at a time. Some clients can immediately describe their perfect day. Some clients don’t actually know what would constitute a perfect day for them; usually because they’ve never been confronted with that question before. It’s so easy to simply live on autopilot, that so many of us do it without even realising. Worse still, is you tell yourself that you can’t take time out from your busy schedules to think about what you actually want. But think about it, if you don’t know what you want and you don’t actually know whether you are truly happy and fulfilled, where are you going then? What are you chasing?

April 8, 2021 Read more →

Perfection Detox: Learning to trust yourself

In 2018 Petra Kolber released her book, The Perfection Detox. I had pre-ordered the book and was very excited to start reading it. By that time in my life, I had come a long way and I had accepted that I was in fact a perfectionist with an insatiable need for perfection and control. So, I was looking forward to embarking on my own perfection detox. I had the book. I thought I was ready, and yet the detox never happened. Why? Well, it’s kind of a long story…

April 5, 2021 Read more →

Emotional agility and self-care in times of complexity

Over the last few weeks most of the conversations I’ve been having, have been around feeling more tired than usual – exhausted actually. 2020 took its toll on all of us and it seems that even though we are making slow progress, the end is not in sight yet. This new now is here to stay for a while longer. More specifically, I think the level of exhaustion people are experiencing currently ties into the time of year. January is the month of new beginnings and resolutions. We resolve to become better people and do more. We resolve to become fitter, healthier, happier, and more productive. And I think this year, there was the added nuance, of wanting more for ourselves than we felt we allowed ourselves in 2020. It’s like the whole world held its breath for the whole of 2020 and waited to exhale once the countdown into the new year was over. However, the exhale never came. Instead, we are still holding our breaths, still waiting for the green light for life to get back to “normal”. And this constant state of expectation and hesitation is adding to the level of exhaustion people currently experience. February is here. The novelty of the new year has worn off. Now we are simply in another year, going around the sun one more time, and now the reality of it all has hit us. We are still in the middle of a global pandemic, still trying to make sense of the loss, trauma, and grief we experienced in 2020. We are still trying to find a new rhythm to the chaos that is our lives. And there seems to be no rest in sight, no communal sigh of relief that we’ve finally reached the end of this, and we can now just get on with it.

February 25, 2021 Read more →