In the muck Archives - Page 6 of 8 - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Gratitude can rewire your brain

I’m an advocate for living a life of gratitude. I truly believe gratitude creates the foundation of a joyful life. When we can truly appreciate that which is beautiful and good in our lives, it will multiply. And starting from a place of gratitude offers a strong springboard for creating more of what we want and appreciate in our lives.

No-one can create from a space of negativity, pessimism, or complacency. But a space of gratitude offers deep joy, deep awareness of what’s here, and the inspiration to think creatively about what’s possible. It doesn’t mean we ignore the pain and frustration; it simply helps us to put the pain into perspective.

Recently I read an article by Jessica Stillman, on three unexpected habits of exceptionally grateful people where she shares that there is a difference between merely giving thanks for the obvious things in your life, or occasionally reflecting on what you are grateful for, versus practicing deep gratitude regularly. When you live from a place of deep gratitude, you literally rewire your brain to start thinking in a different way. This can be deeply transformational, because you show up differently in your life as a result of it. […]

Thriving in life requires both differentiation and integration

Posted on August 30, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Decision-Making / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Purpose / Thriving / Values

I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about what is required to not merely survive but to truly thrive in life. I remember reading a thought-provoking article by Zat Rana about a year ago, where he reasoned that there are two states of being in this world: surviving and thriving. To survive is to live in a way that “limits downsides, to eliminate the risk of ruin. It means fulfilling our basic need for food and shelter and companionship”. Thriving, on the other hand, is different. It’s an attempt to transcend this basic state of existence not out of fear, but out of desire and yearning for growth and learning…

When we live in a state of survival, our actions are motivated by fear. We want to avoid pain…

The fortunate situation we find ourselves in today, also poses a different challenge; the challenge to self-actualise and move beyond mere survival to find ways to truly thrive beyond the physical realm. We are presented with opportunities to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We have an innate need to satisfy the requirements of survival, yes, but we also have a deeper desire to make something of ourselves beyond that, so we can thrive in the world. […]

Become a Cycle Breaker

Posted on August 30, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Decision-Making / Emotional Agility / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Purpose / Resilience / Self-care / Story Matters / Transformation / Values

One of the most important lessons I’ve learnt in my time working with my coach, is to appreciate that things in my life happen FOR me, not TO me. Everything in your life can be used for your growth and learning. EVERYTHING. Even the things that seem insignificant. And most especially the things that cause you the most frustration and heartache.

I feel compelled to share something vulnerable with you here. Healing from abuse, neglect, trauma, and violence is never easy. Sometimes it requires heroic effort to not fall into self-destructive patterns. It requires self-awareness, a deep inner knowing that things can and will be better, and that you are capable of change. It requires committed effort to learning, growing, healing, forgiving, and to never stop trying. […]

The Hero’s Journey

Posted on August 10, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Grit / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Purpose / Story Matters / Transformation

Did you know that you are a hero? You might be thinking that a hero is someone who rushes into a dangerous situation to save others. And you might be thinking to yourself that I’ve lost the plot – unless of course, you have rushed into a dangerous situation and saved others.

Hero’s come in all shapes and sizes. And we all get to be the hero of our own story. Your life is your blank canvas. You get to paint any story you want. We all have spiritual curriculum to complete here on earth. We are all here to learn something; to grow something in ourselves. When you heed the call, you become the hero of your own story. When you don’t heed the call, you avoid the journey that would make you the hero of your own story.

My encouragement is that your life is an open invitation to embark on your own hero’s journey. Let’s look at the twelve stages of the hero’s journey and I’ll explain… […]

Life Lessons from Running

Posted on June 13, 2021By ChantalPosted in Gratitude / In the muck / Life / Mindset / Resilience / Self-care / Transformation

I didn’t become a runner until much later in my life. At school I never considered myself an athlete by any stretch of the imagination. I was active, but not competitive – not in sports any way. Athleticism was simply not incorporated into my self-image at the time. I was highly academic and pursued many cultural activities too, but sports were always this thing I sort of dabbled in, for the sake of team spirit, but never really because I thought I could be any good at it.

I took up running after burning out in my academic job and realising that I needed to find more balance in my life. I was over-worked, underpaid, and very unfit. I was not enjoying my life, and I was looking for a way to increase my level of activity and handle my stress better.

I wanted to share my running story here, because running has taught me so much about life. There are some incredible life lessons to take away from running and I would like to share them with you here. […]

You don’t need to burn out to succeed

Posted on May 31, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Grit / In the muck / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Values

Susan David highlights that success — in life, in work, in creative pursuits — is often synonymous with keeping our noses to the grindstone as we rack up the requisite 10 000 hours of mastery that Malcolm Gladwell popularised.

There are many reasons to celebrate grit. The things we value most in life, like meaningful relationships, and pursuing work that matter to us, or building the requisite skill to thrive in life and work, those things require commitment and persistence to get you through challenging times. Sometimes persisting even when faced with failure and disappointment, delivers incredible results in terms of innovation or personal growth and transformation.

However, despite its many virtues, it is possible to overvalue grittiness. Susan David postulates that the self-awareness to know when to quit is just as important as the discipline to hold on and grit your way through. There are times in your life, when perseverance doesn’t lead to you thriving, but instead to you burning out. Perseverance is a necessary ingredient for human thriving, but we must be thoughtful about what we’re persevering at and why. […]

The Magic in Dandelions

Posted on May 17, 2021By ChantalPosted in Gratitude / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Slow down / Thinking / Transformation / Uncategorized

About a year ago, I wrote an article about chasing Dandelions after watching a TED Talk by Dewitt Jones. Dewitt is a photographer for the National Geographic and openly declares it to be the greatest job in the world…

I listened to Dewitt’s talk, mesmerised, and inspired. Before hearing his story, I did not take much notice of Dandelions. However, I have since come to appreciate this little flower for a couple of reasons. I will share them here. […]

How to create a good day

Posted on April 8, 2021By ChantalPosted in Coaching / Courage / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Self-care / Slow down / Time management / Transformation / Values

A powerful coaching question I often pose to clients is “What does your ideal day look like?” or “What would constitute a perfect day for you?” This is one way to get someone to think about what they would like their life to look like day by day, or to consciously think about how they would want to create their life one day at a time.

Some clients can immediately describe their perfect day. Some clients don’t actually know what would constitute a perfect day for them; usually because they’ve never been confronted with that question before. It’s so easy to simply live on autopilot, that so many of us do it without even realising. Worse still, is you tell yourself that you can’t take time out from your busy schedules to think about what you actually want.

But think about it, if you don’t know what you want and you don’t actually know whether you are truly happy and fulfilled, where are you going then? What are you chasing? […]

Listening to the quiet whisper of your Inner Wisdom: It doesn’t always have to be a “Hell Yes!”

Posted on March 29, 2021By ChantalPosted in Coaching / Courage / Decision-Making / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Mindset / Perspective / Story Matters / Thinking / Transformation

Recently I read a blog post by Carolyn Freyer-Jones where she was questioning whether an average or sometimes even hesitant yes could be enough to get started on a big transformation or transition. There’s a lot of talk in the coaching profession that reasons that, “If it’s not a HELL YES, it’s a no.”

So, when deciding whether to change jobs, start a business, leave a dysfunctional or unhappy relationship, get married, have a child, or not have a child, start working with a coach, go to therapy, or anything else that might fundamentally change your life, the reasoning is that unless it’s a big and resounding yes – a HUGE, LOUD and INTENSE yes, it’s not really yes. It’s no. […]

Emotional agility and self-care in times of complexity

Posted on February 25, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Perspective / Resilience / Self-care

Over the last few weeks most of the conversations I’ve been having, have been around feeling more tired than usual – exhausted actually. 2020 took its toll on all of us and it seems that even though we are making slow progress, the end is not in sight yet. This new now is here to stay for a while longer.

More specifically, I think the level of exhaustion people are experiencing currently ties into the time of year. January is the month of new beginnings and resolutions. We resolve to become better people and do more. We resolve to become fitter, healthier, happier, and more productive. And I think this year, there was the added nuance, of wanting more for ourselves than we felt we allowed ourselves in 2020. It’s like the whole world held its breath for the whole of 2020 and waited to exhale once the countdown into the new year was over.

However, the exhale never came. Instead, we are still holding our breaths, still waiting for the green light for life to get back to “normal”. And this constant state of expectation and hesitation is adding to the level of exhaustion people currently experience.

February is here. The novelty of the new year has worn off. Now we are simply in another year, going around the sun one more time, and now the reality of it all has hit us. We are still in the middle of a global pandemic, still trying to make sense of the loss, trauma, and grief we experienced in 2020. We are still trying to find a new rhythm to the chaos that is our lives. And there seems to be no rest in sight, no communal sigh of relief that we’ve finally reached the end of this, and we can now just get on with it. […]