self-compassion Archives - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

The value of facing our Demons…

I want to start this article a little differently to how I would usually start a post. I want to start by sharing this funny video that captures my evolution with KPop Demon Hunters in 15 seconds. And if you don’t know what KPop Demon Hunters are, welcome to the movement. May it inspire you as much as it has inspired me.

If you are not a fan, that is totally fine too. I feel a little sad for you. And, you don’t need to a be fan, or even have watched the movie, to get value from this article. It’s just my starting point, and it doesn’t need to be yours. So, just hang in here with me for a little bit as I provide some background to why this movie, why this article, and why now? […]

It’s OK if you are NOT OK

Posted on November 2, 2025By ChantalPosted in Commitment / Compassion / Courage / Emotional Agility / Fear / Grief / Grit / In the muck / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindset / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking

A minor car accident a month ago was a wake-up call for me. It made me pause and had me face the truth of where I am right now. It’s been seven months since my father’s passing. Since then, my mother, my mother-in-law, and my father-in-law have all been ill this year. And the day before my birthday, my aunt passed away. I have felt myself reeling with shock and confusion over the past eight weeks. I wish I could tell you that I was wise and calm during these intense weeks, but I have not been wise and calm. Far from it. I have fallen into old defensive patterns in a futile attempt to make myself feel safe… […]

Little earthquakes: How grief and trauma shapes us

Posted on May 8, 2025By ChantalPosted in Commitment / Compassion / Connection / Courage / Emotional Agility / Fear / Gratitude / Grief / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Love / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Slow down / Story Matters / Transformation

I recently finished reading, Little Earthquakes: A memoir by Sarah Mandel where she recounts the heartbreaking story of her six year long battle with stage four metastatic breast cancer and the ensuing trauma that unfolded from that. Mandel was a therapist who used narrative therapy to help her clients work through their trauma, and then chose to apply her own therapy methods in the writing of her memoir. It was a way for her to make sense of the trauma she had walked through… […]

How we overcome shame, is we own our story

Posted on June 3, 2024By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Compassion / Connection / Courage / Fear / Future Self / Gratitude / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindset / Perspective / Self-care / Story Matters

In April, I shared with you about the launch of my private six-month coaching group called Living As If You Matter. This group is all about living as if you truly matter, or as Brené Brown would put it, wholehearted living. Today I want to talk about what gets in the way of living more wholeheartedly or living as if you matter, and the antidote to it.

In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown explains that the biggest thing that gets in the way of us living more fully as our true selves, or living as if we really matter, is something that we all experience – shame. Shame is that warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough. It’s the feeling that makes us want to hide or run away. It’s what sometimes makes us overreact in certain situations. According to Brené Brown, “Shame is basically the fear of being unlovable… Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love, belonging, and connection.” […]