overwhelm Archives - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Do you feel like you are behind in life?

At the start of the new school year in September, my daughter’s music teacher handed her a recorder. One of the skills she is mastering this year in Grade 4, is learning to play the recorder. She loves music and loves learning.

Since September she has practiced every single day. And every time she masters a new song, she receives a new colour belt. The goal, I’m told, is to first get her first black belt, then reach three gold belts, which will unlock the ultimate prize – a rainbow-coloured belt. She is obsessed with rainbows, so of course a rainbow-coloured belt is the ultimate coveted item right now. I’ll be honest, there have been days where I have had to remind myself that the noise is part of the journey, and that she can’t improve her skill without practice.

Then one day it occurred to me that I hadn’t heard her play in a while. A curious question as to why I haven’t heard her play, resulted in tears. “All my friends have moved on to black belts, and I’m still stuck at purple. I’m so far behind…”

And there it was. The cry I’ve heard so many times from friends, loved ones, and especially from clients – they fear that they are behind in some way. This is not a new phenomenon, and my daughter certainly isn’t the only one experiencing the feeling of being behind in life. In fact, it saddens me that she is already feeling behind at such a young age… […]

Are you trying to do it all?

Posted on December 15, 2025By ChantalPosted in Commitment / Courage / Decision-Making / Emotional Agility / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Thriving

December always feels like paradox. Most of the world seems to be winding down, and somehow things are speeding up at the same time. In the Northern hemisphere, there can be a longing for cozy evenings in front of the fireplace, comfort food, and warm blankets. In the Southern hemisphere, there is the longing for lazy days on the beach, or around the pool, barbeques, and Xmas parties.

Yet, I also hear from people that their inboxes are running over, they are drowning under urgent deadlines, and organisations are hurriedly trying to complete planning for the new year. There is an increased urgency to get things done, and completed, and a tension between desperately wanting rest, and feeling like you can’t rest yet.

With children in the mix too, the holiday season can feel anything but relaxing and restful. Often there is no childcare available, and you are scurrying to figure out how you will keep your children entertained or occupied. And somehow you have unknowingly also taken responsibility for ensuring that there is “holiday magic”? When did that get added to the list? And why is it even a requirement?

The core leadership challenge that no-one talks about, is not strategy, planning, or systems, but rather how to navigate the internal negotiation between your energy or capacity, and outside expectations.

And that is why today I want to talk about capacity… […]

It’s OK if you are NOT OK

Posted on November 2, 2025By ChantalPosted in Commitment / Compassion / Courage / Emotional Agility / Fear / Grief / Grit / In the muck / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindset / Self-care / Slow down / Thinking

A minor car accident a month ago was a wake-up call for me. It made me pause and had me face the truth of where I am right now. It’s been seven months since my father’s passing. Since then, my mother, my mother-in-law, and my father-in-law have all been ill this year. And the day before my birthday, my aunt passed away. I have felt myself reeling with shock and confusion over the past eight weeks. I wish I could tell you that I was wise and calm during these intense weeks, but I have not been wise and calm. Far from it. I have fallen into old defensive patterns in a futile attempt to make myself feel safe… […]