love Archives - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Little earthquakes: How grief and trauma shapes us

I recently finished reading, Little Earthquakes: A memoir by Sarah Mandel where she recounts the heartbreaking story of her six year long battle with stage four metastatic breast cancer and the ensuing trauma that unfolded from that. Mandel was a therapist who used narrative therapy to help her clients work through their trauma, and then chose to apply her own therapy methods in the writing of her memoir. It was a way for her to make sense of the trauma she had walked through… […]

Grief is Love in its rawest and purest form…

Posted on April 28, 2025By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Commitment / Compassion / Courage / Decision-Making / Emotional Agility / Gratitude / Grief / In the muck / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Listening / Love / Meaning / Purpose / Self-care / Slow down / Story Matters / ValuesLeave a comment

My dear beloved community, I have not written to you since January. In fact, I have not written much in months. And my writing today comes from a tender and vulnerable place as I choose to share what has been unfolding in my life that has prevented me from sharing my regular newsletter with you. […]

How will you BE as we close this year?

Posted on December 23, 2024By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Completions / Connection / Gratitude / Happiness / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Slow down / Thinking

I’ve been thinking about of you and about this time of year. For some, this is a joyous time of year. And for some it’s the most miserable time of the year… How you feel about the holiday season probably has a lot to do with how you grew up and what occurred during the holiday seasons… […]

What Your Perfectionism is Really Trying to Tell You…

Posted on February 27, 2024By ChantalPosted in Coaching / Commitment / Compassion / Connection / Courage / Emotional Agility / Failure / Fear / Future Self / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Purpose / Rejection / Self-care / Thinking / Transformation

I have shared about my experiences with perfectionism before in my writing about a Perfection Detox: Learning to trust yourself and I have shared how I battle with my P Twins – i.e., Perfectionism and Pleasing – whenever I am navigating important situations or events in my life. Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting everything to be clean and neat, or orderly. Perfectionism can take different forms, and often people who are perfectionists, see their perfectionism as a moral compass or guideline to measure their personal “goodness” as a person. In other words, somewhere they internalised the message that they are only a good person, or lovable when they are perfect. This of course sets you up for a lifetime of struggle, frustration, and failure, because there is no such thing as the perfect person who always does everything right. So, you end up living in constant fear that someone will discover that you are not perfect, and that you will be ostracised from the very groups of people you are trying to belong with. […]

The most powerful force in the world

Posted on February 12, 2024By ChantalPosted in Commitment / Courage / Decision-Making / Future Self / Goals / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Listening / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Purpose / Thinking

Recently Rich Litvin posed this question: What is the most powerful force in the world? People have so many different opinions about what the most powerful force in the world might be. What would your answer be? […]

Take this with you into the last days of 2023

Posted on December 22, 2023By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Compassion / Completions / Connection / Gratitude / Happiness / Inspiration / Life / Listening / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Perspective / Self-care / Slow down

Earlier this week, I sent out what I thought would be my last newsletter for this year, and then two things happened yesterday that had me feel compelled to write to you all… First, I had a conversation with a client yesterday where she shared with me the awakening and transformation she had experienced over the past two years. The second thing that happened yesterday, is that I attended a Quarrtsiluni session with a colleague who was generous enough to invite me to his event. […]

What if Perfection is not required this holiday season?

Posted on December 7, 2023By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Commitment / Compassion / Dreaming / Gratitude / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Planning / Self-care / Slow down / Thriving / Values

Last year, at the start of the holiday season, I asked whether you would be inviting the Twin P’s over for dinner this holiday? It seems that many of us – especially women and caregivers – turn in to control freaks during the holiday season. We become frantic and tend to experience a tremendous sense of overwhelm, because we believe it’s our job to create “the perfect holiday celebration” for our family. What that usually looks like, is we want everything to be perfect – whatever that means? – we refuse to ask for or accept help from others, and we become control freaks, so we become impossible to be around. But what if it doesn’t have to be this way? […]

How to have a good birthday

Posted on October 30, 2023By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Connection / Gratitude / Happiness / Inspiration / Integrity / Leadership / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindset / Perspective / Self-care / Thriving

It was my birthday last week, and I had the most incredible birthday. I used to hate birthdays. I used to want to avoid my birthday at all costs. And for the past three years, I have had really amazing and joyful birthdays. So, I want to share briefly what has changed for me, and why it’s important. […]

What does it mean to celebrate?

Posted on December 10, 2022By ChantalPosted in Gratitude / Happiness / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Slow down / Thriving / Values1 Comment

As the holiday season approaches, life has brought me some interesting experiences that has me contemplating the value of celebration. The dictionary defines a celebration as “the action of marking one’s pleasure at an important event or occasion by engaging in enjoyable, typically social, activity.” And this time of year, tends to open people up to celebration for various reasons. Whether you are celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, or anything in between, this time of year is mostly an invitation to celebrate.

And that got me thinking about my relationship to celebration… […]

I AM: The two most powerful words in the world

Posted on October 24, 2022By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Bias for action / Commitment / Compassion / Connection / Courage / Decision-Making / Goals / Gratitude / Grit / Happiness / Inspiration / Leadership / Life1 Comment

My commitment to changing the level at which I live my life, deepened about four years ago when I decided to embark on the biggest personal transformation of my life. And the most important thing about personal growth and transformation, is that you never arrive. There is never a point of completion. The deeper you go, the more you start to value and appreciate the journey. You fall in love with the process, because you realise that’s all there is.

So, as I write this, I’ve renewed my commitment to being 100% committed to the process and 0% committed to the outcome. I cannot control the outcome. So, there is no point on focusing my energy and attention there. I won’t get me what I yearn for most anyway. So, instead, I fall in love with the process of learning and growing, and I stay on the path towards mastery. I choose to be a student of life and I accept and embrace never arriving. For the rest of my days here on earth, I am a student of life, and I am here to soak up as much love, learning, joy, growth, awe, and inspiration as is available to me.

These renewed commitments stem directly from my attendance at a Game Changer Event with the ultimate mindset coach, Devon Bandison… […]