Will you be inviting the P Twins over for dinner this holiday?

Recently a client shared with me how stressful she finds the holidays. I invited her to tell me more and she shared that she tends to go into overdrive during the holidays. She wants everything to be perfect, and that usually means that she refuses to accept any help. She also finds that she turns into a control freak and people tend to avoid being around her when she is preparing for the holidays.

We slowed it down and I asked her what has her feeling so stressed and pushing so hard. She said, “unrealistic expectations of perfection”. I asked her who is placing these expectations upon her. My client is very self-aware, so she immediately recognised that she was placing these expectations on herself. No-one else was asking her to do all the things she commits herself to doing during the holiday season. She was doing this to herself… […]

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What does it mean to celebrate?

As the holiday season approaches, life has brought me some interesting experiences that has me contemplating the value of celebration. The dictionary defines a celebration as “the action of marking one’s pleasure at an important event or occasion by engaging in enjoyable, typically social, activity.” And this time of year, tends to open people up to celebration for various reasons. Whether you are celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, or anything in between, this time of year is mostly an invitation to celebrate.

And that got me thinking about my relationship to celebration… […]

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Morning Routines

I recently read an interesting article by Sarah K. Peck, a fellow coach and mompreneur, where she questioned the value of morning routines. She highlighted how morning routines have become very popular. These days many famous and successful people attribute their success to a solid morning routine. However, does your morning routine really support you in who you want to become? […]

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Living in the Now

Three years ago, I read the book Slowing Down to the Speed of Life for the first time, and it changed my life. Before stumbling upon this beautiful book, I had been searching for ways to slow down my mental chatter, and to become more present.

My search for presence started back in 2008 when I discovered Eckhart Tolle. I devoured all his books and audio recordings, desperately seeking to tame my ego mind, and find ways to really live more fully in the present moment. And there were times when I was able to do that, but it always felt like it was only attainable in short bursts. I had to work at it, and only a few specific things helped me stay present… […]

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Reflections on love and belonging

During my second year in Canada, just before I decided to become a coach, I had a conversation with a coach about life purpose. In the coaching model she was trained in, they were taught to narrow down your life purpose to ONE word that summarises what you are all about or what you are trying to create in your lifetime. A one-word life purpose sounded absurd to me. Could you really narrow it down to just one word? And of course, I was surprised when she shared what she thought my life purpose was. She observed that it sounded like mine was connection. I’ve discovered two things since then… […]

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Redefining Compassion

During a specific phase of my PhD research, I conducted interviews with participants. One of the questions I would ask interviewees was, “What does compassion mean to you?” I would then follow up that question with a second question, “How do you demonstrate compassion in your own life?”

The aim was to get a sense of what compassion really means to people and how they live compassion in their daily lives. The Oxford Dictionary defines compassion as, “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.”

For me personally, that definition feels too narrow. It invites us to feel pity or concern for someone. It evokes within us this sense of feeling sorry for someone about what they are going through. And yet, pity falls short of what is needed. It simply levels compassion akin to sympathy, when my sense is that what is really needed is far more than just feeling sorry for someone. […]

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The secret to becoming an adult is to embrace your inner child

Recently, I wrote about how most of us are beating up on ourselves for not knowing how to be adults. I shared that life doesn’t come with an instruction manual, so none of us really know what it means to be an adult. We are all trying to figure it out. In Elizabeth Benton’s incredible book, Chasing Cupcakes, she talks about how to take responsibility and create the life that you want, and she essentially shares two rules for adulting. […]

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Love is an action

I find it so strange that we live in a world where we have commercialised everything to the point that even the most important things in our lives can lose their meaning and significance. I have always found the idea of Valentine’s Day a little absurd since love cannot be bought or sold. Love is not a commodity. And creating a day where we remind people of their own loneliness, disconnection, and insecurities seems like the opposite of loving to me. It seems almost cruel.

I’m not saying don’t appreciate your significant other, but I am questioning why you need a reminder to do that, or why they only get to be seen and celebrated on ONE day of the year.

Love isn’t a feeling either. The feeling you feel when you say that you are in love, is infatuation, desire, or lust. But love, real love is an ACT. Love is a way of being in the world. It’s the opposite of judgement. When I choose to show up in loving, I’m choosing to suspend judgement and to truly see the essence of the person in front of me. […]

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Life Lessons from a Video Game

My husband is a video game fanatic. I have never really taken much of an interest in it, although I can appreciate the value of gamified learning. Years ago, when I completed my honour’s degree in Strategic Management, one of our courses was an online game, and it was quite a memorable experience. Sometimes simulated learning is the best way to build experience in a specific area. It provides the opportunity to learn through “failing” at challenging tasks without any drastic real-life consequences.

That said, what I want to share with you here is not so much about the importance of gamification. Rather, it relates to some interesting insights I got from listening to my husband share a story about the latest game he is currently playing called Dead Cells. […]

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When you are serious about real transformation, the time of year is of no consequence

I always find this time of year intriguing. For some reason, people attach tremendous value to counting down towards the new year. For some it even evokes tremendous pressure to create “the perfect New Years celebration”. We convince ourselves that we get to leave the past behind and start with a clean slate. We get to start over. Be better. Dream. Set goals. Go for it this time. And really make the changes we say we want.

However, you are still the same person you were one minute after midnight than one minute before midnight; unless some fundamental life-changing event transpired in the span of two minutes…

The way I see it, waiting for the new year before setting those goals or making those changes you’ve been procrastinating on for weeks, months, sometimes even years, is just another way of continuing to make excuses and procrastinating or stalling longer on the things you know you need to change in your life. It’s another way of saying, I don’t really want to make this change. I’m not serious about it.

If you truly WANT the change, the time of day, week, month, or year would be of no consequence. Your time here on earth is finite. And even more than that, you don’t know when your time will run out. What if you don’t make it to the new year? […]

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