In conversation with my coach the other day, she said two things that stuck with me. She said, “You are your future self. Whoever you will become, you are already her. She lives inside of you.” And she also reflected that flowers don’t just burst open and start blooming, they blossom slowly.
I had to think long and hard about this. What she said hit hard. […]
Over the past few days, I’ve watched with shock and horror the events unfolding in Ukraine. The fact that one person could yield so much power to literally destroy people’s lives, is appalling. And the sense of powerlessness I felt, was causing a knot in my stomach and an intense and deep ache in my heart. Coincidentally, I attended a Co-Active Leadership Experience this past weekend.
The Co-Active leadership model turns traditional assumptions about and definitions of leadership on its head. It postulates that we are all leaders and that different situations call for us to take on different leadership positions. And frankly, it’s profound, because it cultivates a true sense of power. It teaches that in any moment you can take ownership of how you want to show up and as a leader. It’s your responsibility to take ownership of your impact on the world. And we are all having an impact. […]
I find it so strange that we live in a world where we have commercialised everything to the point that even the most important things in our lives can lose their meaning and significance. I have always found the idea of Valentine’s Day a little absurd since love cannot be bought or sold. Love is not a commodity. And creating a day where we remind people of their own loneliness, disconnection, and insecurities seems like the opposite of loving to me. It seems almost cruel.
I’m not saying don’t appreciate your significant other, but I am questioning why you need a reminder to do that, or why they only get to be seen and celebrated on ONE day of the year.
Love isn’t a feeling either. The feeling you feel when you say that you are in love, is infatuation, desire, or lust. But love, real love is an ACT. Love is a way of being in the world. It’s the opposite of judgement. When I choose to show up in loving, I’m choosing to suspend judgement and to truly see the essence of the person in front of me. […]
For many, this time of year often feels like an opportunity to reset and to begin again. Whatever you feel disappointed about in your life, you can course correct by setting different intentions for the new year. Many people kick off a new year by setting their New Year’s resolutions. Interestingly, I read the other day that Bill Gates isn’t one of them. Instead, Gates prefers doing a personal year-end review by asking himself a series of questions, and then settles on an intention for the new year. His ex-wife, Melinda French Gates, also doesn’t set resolutions when the new year rolls around. Instead, she selects a single word to set the tone of her year… […]
The dictionary defines ambition as “a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.” In a workshop with Michael Bungay Stanier recently, he said, “we unlock our greatness by working on the hard stuff.” So, it’s when we work hard on something that matters – i.e., when we are deeply ambitious – that we unlock our greatness or have a real impact.
Bungay Stanier believes that when you set a goal, you should also ask how it will matter? Who will benefit if you achieve the goal? How will you achieving the goal change the world? How will you leave the world a little better than you found it? What he is talking about, is an ambitious goal. A goal that is bigger than just reaching a deadline or acquiring a new level of performance. It’s a goal that inspires – a calling or a mission if you will. […]
I always find this time of year intriguing. For some reason, people attach tremendous value to counting down towards the new year. For some it even evokes tremendous pressure to create “the perfect New Years celebration”. We convince ourselves that we get to leave the past behind and start with a clean slate. We get to start over. Be better. Dream. Set goals. Go for it this time. And really make the changes we say we want.
However, you are still the same person you were one minute after midnight than one minute before midnight; unless some fundamental life-changing event transpired in the span of two minutes…
The way I see it, waiting for the new year before setting those goals or making those changes you’ve been procrastinating on for weeks, months, sometimes even years, is just another way of continuing to make excuses and procrastinating or stalling longer on the things you know you need to change in your life. It’s another way of saying, I don’t really want to make this change. I’m not serious about it.
If you truly WANT the change, the time of day, week, month, or year would be of no consequence. Your time here on earth is finite. And even more than that, you don’t know when your time will run out. What if you don’t make it to the new year? […]
Most businesses are familiar with year-end reviews. However, I’m also an advocate for a personal year-end review. I first learned about the idea of a personal year-end review from Sarah Peck. And what I appreciate about her approach is that it is not simply about going through your list of goals to identify which ones you hit and which ones you failed to hit. No, rather a year-end review is a slowed down, deep reflection about your year. It’s an invitation to identify what you celebrate about this year, what you are most proud of, what you’ve learnt, and how you’ve grown over the last year.
Looking back over your year also helps you put into perspective the year ahead and where you want to focus your energy in the year ahead. I will share two methods here with you for doing your personal year-end review. […]
I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about what is required to not merely survive but to truly thrive in life. I remember reading a thought-provoking article by Zat Rana about a year ago, where he reasoned that there are two states of being in this world: surviving and thriving. To survive is to live in a way that “limits downsides, to eliminate the risk of ruin. It means fulfilling our basic need for food and shelter and companionship”. Thriving, on the other hand, is different. It’s an attempt to transcend this basic state of existence not out of fear, but out of desire and yearning for growth and learning…
When we live in a state of survival, our actions are motivated by fear. We want to avoid pain…
The fortunate situation we find ourselves in today, also poses a different challenge; the challenge to self-actualise and move beyond mere survival to find ways to truly thrive beyond the physical realm. We are presented with opportunities to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We have an innate need to satisfy the requirements of survival, yes, but we also have a deeper desire to make something of ourselves beyond that, so we can thrive in the world. […]
One of the most important lessons I’ve learnt in my time working with my coach, is to appreciate that things in my life happen FOR me, not TO me. Everything in your life can be used for your growth and learning. EVERYTHING. Even the things that seem insignificant. And most especially the things that cause you the most frustration and heartache.
I feel compelled to share something vulnerable with you here. Healing from abuse, neglect, trauma, and violence is never easy. Sometimes it requires heroic effort to not fall into self-destructive patterns. It requires self-awareness, a deep inner knowing that things can and will be better, and that you are capable of change. It requires committed effort to learning, growing, healing, forgiving, and to never stop trying. […]
Did you know that you are a hero? You might be thinking that a hero is someone who rushes into a dangerous situation to save others. And you might be thinking to yourself that I’ve lost the plot – unless of course, you have rushed into a dangerous situation and saved others.
Hero’s come in all shapes and sizes. And we all get to be the hero of our own story. Your life is your blank canvas. You get to paint any story you want. We all have spiritual curriculum to complete here on earth. We are all here to learn something; to grow something in ourselves. When you heed the call, you become the hero of your own story. When you don’t heed the call, you avoid the journey that would make you the hero of your own story.
My encouragement is that your life is an open invitation to embark on your own hero’s journey. Let’s look at the twelve stages of the hero’s journey and I’ll explain… […]