Mindfulness Archives - Page 3 of 4 - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

What is rest anyway?

In a recent article I spoke about unhealthy striving. I pointed out that we live in a society of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired and burnt-out individuals. I shared how often we wear a lack of sleep as a badge of honour. People often pride themselves on how little sleep they are getting and how much they are getting done, without realising that “functioning” on only a few hours of sleep per night, is equivalent to driving under the influence of alcohol.

However, have you ever tried to fix a persistent lack of energy by sleeping more only to sleep and still wake up feeling exhausted? The reason for this is that sleep and rest are NOT the same thing. We tend to incorrectly assume that to rest means to sleep. Yet sleep is but ONE form or rest.

So, in the spirit of truly slowing down to take stock, I want to talk about rest… […]

Will you be inviting the P Twins over for dinner this holiday?

Posted on December 21, 2022By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Planning / Purpose / Slow down

Recently a client shared with me how stressful she finds the holidays. I invited her to tell me more and she shared that she tends to go into overdrive during the holidays. She wants everything to be perfect, and that usually means that she refuses to accept any help. She also finds that she turns into a control freak and people tend to avoid being around her when she is preparing for the holidays.

We slowed it down and I asked her what has her feeling so stressed and pushing so hard. She said, “unrealistic expectations of perfection”. I asked her who is placing these expectations upon her. My client is very self-aware, so she immediately recognised that she was placing these expectations on herself. No-one else was asking her to do all the things she commits herself to doing during the holiday season. She was doing this to herself… […]

Heart-Centred Listening: It’s not a skill. It’s a mindset.

Posted on September 21, 2022By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Coaching / Compassion / Connection / Happiness / Leadership / Life / Listening / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Slow down / Story Matters

ly listening to another human being feels like a lost art these days. My great-grandmother used to say that we have one mouth and two ears so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. And she was a great listener. She seldomly spoke, so when she did, I always listened, because I knew that what she had to share would be valuable…

Today I want to talk about far more than simply listening for learning or for our own personal understanding. I want to talk about what it means to listen deeply to another in a way that has you both feeling seen, heard, and deeply connected. […]

Morning Routines

Posted on September 6, 2022By ChantalPosted in Commitment / Goals / Happiness / Leadership / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Planning / Purpose / Self-care / Thriving / Time management

I recently read an interesting article by Sarah K. Peck, a fellow coach and mompreneur, where she questioned the value of morning routines. She highlighted how morning routines have become very popular. These days many famous and successful people attribute their success to a solid morning routine. However, does your morning routine really support you in who you want to become? […]

Living in the Now

Posted on August 23, 2022By ChantalPosted in Happiness / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Slow down

Three years ago, I read the book Slowing Down to the Speed of Life for the first time, and it changed my life. Before stumbling upon this beautiful book, I had been searching for ways to slow down my mental chatter, and to become more present.

My search for presence started back in 2008 when I discovered Eckhart Tolle. I devoured all his books and audio recordings, desperately seeking to tame my ego mind, and find ways to really live more fully in the present moment. And there were times when I was able to do that, but it always felt like it was only attainable in short bursts. I had to work at it, and only a few specific things helped me stay present… […]

Redefining Compassion

Posted on July 5, 2022By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Compassion / Courage / Emotional Agility / In the muck / Leadership / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Values

During a specific phase of my PhD research, I conducted interviews with participants. One of the questions I would ask interviewees was, “What does compassion mean to you?” I would then follow up that question with a second question, “How do you demonstrate compassion in your own life?”

The aim was to get a sense of what compassion really means to people and how they live compassion in their daily lives. The Oxford Dictionary defines compassion as, “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.”

For me personally, that definition feels too narrow. It invites us to feel pity or concern for someone. It evokes within us this sense of feeling sorry for someone about what they are going through. And yet, pity falls short of what is needed. It simply levels compassion akin to sympathy, when my sense is that what is really needed is far more than just feeling sorry for someone. […]

Love is an action

Posted on February 14, 2022By ChantalPosted in Happiness / In the muck / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Purpose / Self-care1 Comment

I find it so strange that we live in a world where we have commercialised everything to the point that even the most important things in our lives can lose their meaning and significance. I have always found the idea of Valentine’s Day a little absurd since love cannot be bought or sold. Love is not a commodity. And creating a day where we remind people of their own loneliness, disconnection, and insecurities seems like the opposite of loving to me. It seems almost cruel.

I’m not saying don’t appreciate your significant other, but I am questioning why you need a reminder to do that, or why they only get to be seen and celebrated on ONE day of the year.

Love isn’t a feeling either. The feeling you feel when you say that you are in love, is infatuation, desire, or lust. But love, real love is an ACT. Love is a way of being in the world. It’s the opposite of judgement. When I choose to show up in loving, I’m choosing to suspend judgement and to truly see the essence of the person in front of me. […]

Live as if you are on the verge of death

Posted on October 31, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Gratitude / Happiness / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Perspective / Story Matters / Thinking

I’ve spent the last few weeks contemplating death. Now I know this might sound like quite a somber activity to be engaged in, and yet, it is not. You see, I’m not contemplating death in a suicidal way. I’m honouring death as a masterful teacher. It is as Michael Singer says in his book, The Untethered Soul, “It is truly a great cosmic paradox that one of the best teachers in all of life, turns out to be death.”

And of course, living through a global pandemic means that all of us have been confronted with death in one form or another over the last two years. Yet, no person or situation could ever teach you as much as death has to teach you. […]

Living one day at a time

Posted on September 29, 2021By ChantalPosted in Gratitude / Happiness / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Slow down

If you had to know how your entire life would unfold in advance, it would simply take the joy out of living. It would turn you into a passenger in your own life story, since you would simply be waiting for the events you know will happen, to unfold as predetermined.

So, the fact that the years of your life don’t all arrive at once, but greets you day by day, is such a gift. It provides the opportunity for agency and mystery. With the descent of each setting sun, we can rest our heads and let the world take care of itself for a while. We go to sleep at night, knowing, or perhaps hoping (because who really knows if we will get to greet another day) that the dawn will bring with it a chance to meet our lives anew. […]

You don’t need to burn out to succeed

Posted on May 31, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Grit / In the muck / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Resilience / Self-care / Slow down / Values

Susan David highlights that success — in life, in work, in creative pursuits — is often synonymous with keeping our noses to the grindstone as we rack up the requisite 10 000 hours of mastery that Malcolm Gladwell popularised.

There are many reasons to celebrate grit. The things we value most in life, like meaningful relationships, and pursuing work that matter to us, or building the requisite skill to thrive in life and work, those things require commitment and persistence to get you through challenging times. Sometimes persisting even when faced with failure and disappointment, delivers incredible results in terms of innovation or personal growth and transformation.

However, despite its many virtues, it is possible to overvalue grittiness. Susan David postulates that the self-awareness to know when to quit is just as important as the discipline to hold on and grit your way through. There are times in your life, when perseverance doesn’t lead to you thriving, but instead to you burning out. Perseverance is a necessary ingredient for human thriving, but we must be thoughtful about what we’re persevering at and why. […]