You don’t need motivation to get started on something

I’ve always been a highly driven and motivated person. I seldom have difficulty getting into action on something once I’ve decided that I want to do it. I can’t relate much to procrastinating on things, because I don’t do it often. And people have often described me as someone who knows what she wants and goes after it.

Two weeks ago, I attended a coaching development workshop. In many ways it was a life-changing experience. And then almost at the very end of the workshop, I received a new insight on motivation that not only changed my perspective on the whole concept, but also made me realise why some people get into action quickly and others don’t. And I want to share what I’ve learnt with you, because it will change the way you think about motivation.

The most important thing I’ve learnt from this experience and from reflecting back on my own life experiences, is that you don’t need motivation to get started. You need something else. […]

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You are the seed of your future self

In conversation with my coach the other day, she said two things that stuck with me. She said, “You are your future self. Whoever you will become, you are already her. She lives inside of you.” And she also reflected that flowers don’t just burst open and start blooming, they blossom slowly.

I had to think long and hard about this. What she said hit hard. […]

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Starting over…

As someone who has left my home country and immigrated to another country, I’m often in conversation with people who are considering immigration. And one of the most popular “excuses” I hear for why someone cannot leave or why they are resistant to the idea of immigrating is, “I can’t start over”. The fear of giving up everything they had built and moving to a place they don’t know to start over from scratch, terrifies them.

And I get it. I was there too. In fact, I had ignorantly underestimated how traumatic it would be to uproot my entire life and to start again somewhere else. Now perhaps – PERHAPS – the fact that I have had to start over many, many times in my life, gave me the courage to take on the adventure of immigrating.

AND I want to point out here that there is also a false belief holding you stuck if you are scared of starting over. […]

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What’s your word or theme for the year?

For many, this time of year often feels like an opportunity to reset and to begin again. Whatever you feel disappointed about in your life, you can course correct by setting different intentions for the new year. Many people kick off a new year by setting their New Year’s resolutions. Interestingly, I read the other day that Bill Gates isn’t one of them. Instead, Gates prefers doing a personal year-end review by asking himself a series of questions, and then settles on an intention for the new year. His ex-wife, Melinda French Gates, also doesn’t set resolutions when the new year rolls around. Instead, she selects a single word to set the tone of her year… […]

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When you are serious about real transformation, the time of year is of no consequence

I always find this time of year intriguing. For some reason, people attach tremendous value to counting down towards the new year. For some it even evokes tremendous pressure to create “the perfect New Years celebration”. We convince ourselves that we get to leave the past behind and start with a clean slate. We get to start over. Be better. Dream. Set goals. Go for it this time. And really make the changes we say we want.

However, you are still the same person you were one minute after midnight than one minute before midnight; unless some fundamental life-changing event transpired in the span of two minutes…

The way I see it, waiting for the new year before setting those goals or making those changes you’ve been procrastinating on for weeks, months, sometimes even years, is just another way of continuing to make excuses and procrastinating or stalling longer on the things you know you need to change in your life. It’s another way of saying, I don’t really want to make this change. I’m not serious about it.

If you truly WANT the change, the time of day, week, month, or year would be of no consequence. Your time here on earth is finite. And even more than that, you don’t know when your time will run out. What if you don’t make it to the new year? […]

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Become a Cycle Breaker

One of the most important lessons I’ve learnt in my time working with my coach, is to appreciate that things in my life happen FOR me, not TO me. Everything in your life can be used for your growth and learning. EVERYTHING. Even the things that seem insignificant. And most especially the things that cause you the most frustration and heartache.

I feel compelled to share something vulnerable with you here. Healing from abuse, neglect, trauma, and violence is never easy. Sometimes it requires heroic effort to not fall into self-destructive patterns. It requires self-awareness, a deep inner knowing that things can and will be better, and that you are capable of change. It requires committed effort to learning, growing, healing, forgiving, and to never stop trying. […]

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The Hero’s Journey

Did you know that you are a hero? You might be thinking that a hero is someone who rushes into a dangerous situation to save others. And you might be thinking to yourself that I’ve lost the plot – unless of course, you have rushed into a dangerous situation and saved others.

Hero’s come in all shapes and sizes. And we all get to be the hero of our own story. Your life is your blank canvas. You get to paint any story you want. We all have spiritual curriculum to complete here on earth. We are all here to learn something; to grow something in ourselves. When you heed the call, you become the hero of your own story. When you don’t heed the call, you avoid the journey that would make you the hero of your own story.

My encouragement is that your life is an open invitation to embark on your own hero’s journey. Let’s look at the twelve stages of the hero’s journey and I’ll explain… […]

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Listening to the quiet whisper of your Inner Wisdom: It doesn’t always have to be a “Hell Yes!”

Recently I read a blog post by Carolyn Freyer-Jones where she was questioning whether an average or sometimes even hesitant yes could be enough to get started on a big transformation or transition. There’s a lot of talk in the coaching profession that reasons that, “If it’s not a HELL YES, it’s a no.”

So, when deciding whether to change jobs, start a business, leave a dysfunctional or unhappy relationship, get married, have a child, or not have a child, start working with a coach, go to therapy, or anything else that might fundamentally change your life, the reasoning is that unless it’s a big and resounding yes – a HUGE, LOUD and INTENSE yes, it’s not really yes. It’s no. […]

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You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems…

As I mentioned in my blog post about Creating Your Year with Intention and Focus, the start of a new year is usually a time to set goals and to commit anew to the person you want to become. However, so often people don’t follow through on those initial new year’s resolutions. As soon as the novelty of the new year wears off, most of us fall back into our old behaviour patterns and forget how we promised ourselves that this year will be different.

Let’s be clear, we are creatures of habits, and our habits often become so ingrained that we don’t even see our habits as habits. We simply think of them as how we are, or who we are. Some habits have been part of our life for so long that they are part of our identity. It’s how we see ourselves. For example, being a non-smoker, or a smoker, being vegetarian, being a runner, or someone who likes routine, being an anxious person, or someone who questions everything, etc. […]

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How to turn a limestone quarry into a lush garden

Last Summer, I took a trip with my family to Vancouver Island, British Columbia and we paid a visit to The Butchart Gardens. As stated on their website: “The Butchart Gardens is a must-see oasis over 100 years in the making”. And what a privilege it was to take in the beauty of this place that stands as a testament to what is possible when one has a grand vision. The story of The Butchart Gardens has some hidden life lessons and it is also one of the most interesting family business success stories rarely told… […]

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