life lessons Archives - Page 5 of 5 - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Using disappointment as a catalyst for inspiration

In life, disappointments are inevitable, because of the simple fact that we don’t control everything that happens in life. How you choose to deal with disappointments in your life, can become a defining moment for you.

In his thought-provoking article on Dealing with Disappointment, Manfred Kets de Vries postulates that expectations lie at the root of all heartache and disappointment. Think about it, would you be disappointment about something if you didn’t have any expectations about how it was supposed to be? Your disappointment stems from the fact that what you had imagined or hoped would happen, did not align with what transpired in reality. It’s like Brad Warner says, disappointment is what you feel “when your brain is trying to readjust itself to reality after discovering that things are not the way you thought they were”.

Some disappointments are insignificant in the larger view of your life. They are easily filtered out by asking yourself the question, “will this matter a year from now?” If the answer is no, simply let it go.

However, some disappointments can change the course of your life. They can become character defining moments. You see, it doesn’t matter that you feel disappointment. It only matters how you choose to deal with your disappointment as you take the next step forward. […]

Live as if you are on the verge of death

Posted on October 31, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Gratitude / Happiness / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Perspective / Story Matters / Thinking

I’ve spent the last few weeks contemplating death. Now I know this might sound like quite a somber activity to be engaged in, and yet, it is not. You see, I’m not contemplating death in a suicidal way. I’m honouring death as a masterful teacher. It is as Michael Singer says in his book, The Untethered Soul, “It is truly a great cosmic paradox that one of the best teachers in all of life, turns out to be death.”

And of course, living through a global pandemic means that all of us have been confronted with death in one form or another over the last two years. Yet, no person or situation could ever teach you as much as death has to teach you. […]

Life Lessons from Running

Posted on June 13, 2021By ChantalPosted in Gratitude / In the muck / Life / Mindset / Resilience / Self-care / Transformation

I didn’t become a runner until much later in my life. At school I never considered myself an athlete by any stretch of the imagination. I was active, but not competitive – not in sports any way. Athleticism was simply not incorporated into my self-image at the time. I was highly academic and pursued many cultural activities too, but sports were always this thing I sort of dabbled in, for the sake of team spirit, but never really because I thought I could be any good at it.

I took up running after burning out in my academic job and realising that I needed to find more balance in my life. I was over-worked, underpaid, and very unfit. I was not enjoying my life, and I was looking for a way to increase my level of activity and handle my stress better.

I wanted to share my running story here, because running has taught me so much about life. There are some incredible life lessons to take away from running and I would like to share them with you here. […]

Emotional agility and self-care in times of complexity

Posted on February 25, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Perspective / Resilience / Self-care

Over the last few weeks most of the conversations I’ve been having, have been around feeling more tired than usual – exhausted actually. 2020 took its toll on all of us and it seems that even though we are making slow progress, the end is not in sight yet. This new now is here to stay for a while longer.

More specifically, I think the level of exhaustion people are experiencing currently ties into the time of year. January is the month of new beginnings and resolutions. We resolve to become better people and do more. We resolve to become fitter, healthier, happier, and more productive. And I think this year, there was the added nuance, of wanting more for ourselves than we felt we allowed ourselves in 2020. It’s like the whole world held its breath for the whole of 2020 and waited to exhale once the countdown into the new year was over.

However, the exhale never came. Instead, we are still holding our breaths, still waiting for the green light for life to get back to “normal”. And this constant state of expectation and hesitation is adding to the level of exhaustion people currently experience.

February is here. The novelty of the new year has worn off. Now we are simply in another year, going around the sun one more time, and now the reality of it all has hit us. We are still in the middle of a global pandemic, still trying to make sense of the loss, trauma, and grief we experienced in 2020. We are still trying to find a new rhythm to the chaos that is our lives. And there seems to be no rest in sight, no communal sigh of relief that we’ve finally reached the end of this, and we can now just get on with it. […]

What’s in a story?

Posted on January 29, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Gratitude / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Perspective / Story Matters / Transformation

About two years ago I read the book Become a Key Person of Influence by Daniel Priestley and a line in the book has stuck with me ever since: “You are already standing on a mountain of value. Your story is valuable. Your experience is unique. You are highly valuable as you are.”

I consider myself a go-getter. I’m decisive and I take action. I’ve always believed that I get to create my life and that where I started did not define me. I don’t think I ever slowed down to consider how my experiences – i.e., my story – had shaped the person I am today. I think I had an intellectual understanding of that, but I wouldn’t really say that I could access that knowing on a deep intuitive level. […]

Lessons from the womb

Posted on March 28, 2020By ChantalPosted in Gratitude / Happiness / Life / Mindset / Slow down

In the early months of pregnancy, there is so much that you wonder and worry about. Will the baby be healthy? Is it a boy or a girl? Is the baby moving? What are my birthing options? Do we need to start thinking about names? The list goes on. Amidst a global pandemic you have even more items of worry to add to your list. Will it be safe to have the baby in hospital? Will I have support during the birth? Am I at risk of getting sick? Will the baby get sick?

While you are fretting and making plans on the outside; anticipating everything that could go wrong and everything you need to plan for – a baby room, clothes, maternity or newborn photos etc. – the little being inside you is happily going about his/her biggest job, which is to grow. Inside the womb, oblivious to all that is happening in the outside world, this little person is doing the one thing that he/she can do – growing and evolving, going about the business of being alive. It takes no effort, it simply is. With no outside influence, your baby has no preconceived ideas or expectations. Your baby is not comparing him/herself to another baby or worried about how much or how little progress he/she is making. They are simply doing what they feel compelled by nature to do – grow. […]