“It is easier to try to be better than you are, than to be who you are.” – Marian Woodman
This quote by Marian Woodman struck me. So often we treat ourselves like self-improvement projects, thinking that if we could only be better than we are, then everything would be the way we want it to be. If we could achieve that elusive level of perfection, then we would finally be happy, and have all the love, joy, and abundance we are craving…
At least, I know this was true for me. I started working with my coach, with the hope that it would help me figure out what was wrong with me, and that I could then fix myself. My coach was unwilling to participate in that experiment, and she kept treating me as if there was nothing wrong with me. I was baffled.
And now, seven years later, I get it. None of us are broken. We are simply disconnected from our true nature. We have allowed for so much conditioning to settle into our minds, hearts, and even bodies, that we have completely forgotten who we are.
I find that this is one of the most difficult questions for people to answer: Who are you? If you are not what you do, what you say, what you think, or what you feel, then who are you? If we take away the roles you play in life, and if we consider for a moment that you do not control your thoughts or your feelings, even though you can recognize that you think thoughts and feel feelings, then who are you?
This is one of the key questions THRIVE seeks to answer? Who are you underneath all the conditioning and all the expectations you have put on yourself, or that you allow others to place on you? Who are you when you are not fulfilling one of the many roles you fulfill in life – wife, mother, sister, daughter, CEO, leader, friend? Who are you when you no longer believe that you can control your thoughts? Who are you when you create space for your feelings without making them wrong? Who are you when you don’t consider yourself as a body, but as having a body? What becomes available?
Stephen Kessler postulates that who you are is who you are when you are most present. So, you can only really know who you are in any one moment when you are present to that moment. Who you are is not who you think you are, or the reputation you have created for yourself. So many of my clients tell me that they suffer from Imposter Syndrome, which essentially just means that they are terrified someone will discover they are not the perfect / brilliant reputation they have worked so hard to create.
The truth is, nobody thinks that you really are your reputation. Those who do, are also holding themselves to impossible standards of perfection. The truth is that nobody has all the answers or always feels like they know what they are doing. Most of us are winging our way through life, hoping no-one else notices how much we are flailing and struggling.
The modern world we live in today amplifies that, because social media drives the need for constant comparison, and to only showcase the best part of our lives – hiding those parts that aren’t perfect and shiny, and consequently feeling like imposters when we are unable to sustain the image of perfection we are striving to create.
Nothing in life is worth doing if YOU are not in it. No accomplishment actually feels worth achieving, if YOU are not present in the journey towards that accomplishment. No real connection is possible without YOUR presence. No relationship can exist if YOU are absent or simply performing yourself. Your loved ones need YOU. The real you, to show up and be present. Your work will be more meaningful and impactful when YOU are truly in it.
THRIVE is for six women who are brave enough to choose to discover who they are underneath all the clutter and noise. It’s for six women who are tired of living in fear of their own greatness and power, and who want to step into their true power and presence.
THRIVE is for six women who are done living as imposters in their own lives, and who are brave enough to be real. Six women who are willing to discover what might be possible when they drop the façade, and become more real – even if it scares them to think about it. Six women who know that there’s got to be another way, and that their life is waiting. Six women who are no longer willing to spend time and energy striving to fulfill expectations, and who would rather live from true agreement with themselves and others.
Enrollment for THRIVE has been extended to allow more women the opportunity to choose to lean in. I’m looking for a few women who are ready to stop over-functioning and create more ease, connection, aliveness, and authentic joy in their lives. If that’s you, then reach out and let’s talk. Let’s explore what it might look like if you were thriving instead of merely surviving / getting through or hustling for your worthiness every day.