Love Archives - Page 2 of 2 - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Redefining Compassion

During a specific phase of my PhD research, I conducted interviews with participants. One of the questions I would ask interviewees was, “What does compassion mean to you?” I would then follow up that question with a second question, “How do you demonstrate compassion in your own life?”

The aim was to get a sense of what compassion really means to people and how they live compassion in their daily lives. The Oxford Dictionary defines compassion as, “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.”

For me personally, that definition feels too narrow. It invites us to feel pity or concern for someone. It evokes within us this sense of feeling sorry for someone about what they are going through. And yet, pity falls short of what is needed. It simply levels compassion akin to sympathy, when my sense is that what is really needed is far more than just feeling sorry for someone. […]

Of puzzle pieces and postage stamps

Posted on May 9, 2022By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Love / Meaning / Perspective / Rejection

How many times have you heard the cliché, “you’re unique” and just rolled your eyes? From my perspective, it seems as if people have taken this idea of uniqueness to such an extreme that it has lost its true meaning. The truth is that you are unique. However, how that is often interpreted, is that you are special or different from others in a way that is meant to have you stand out from others. And that is not entirely accurate.

You see we all share certain common traits as human beings. We are all mammals. We are all social animals seeking belonging. We are all meaning seekers and meaning makers. We all experience emotions. We are all capable of critical thought and of creativity. There are certain things that we have in common with other people because we are all human.

That being said, you are still unique in the sense that there is only ONE human like YOU. […]

Thoughts on motherhood

Posted on May 9, 2022By ChantalPosted in Courage / Gratitude / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Love / Meaning

Mother’s Day can be a complicated day for many, and I have always had mixed feelings about the day. Often the stage of life I find myself in, also dictates the scale and intensity of those mixed feelings. […]

The keys to a more loving relationship

Posted on February 22, 2022By ChantalPosted in Courage / Emotional Agility / Happiness / Life / Love / Mindset

In the spirit of the month of February being the month of love, I recently attended an event hosted by the University of Santa Monica on the keys to a more loving relationship. The core idea Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick shared at this event, is that we are all engaged in a fundamental misunderstanding about love, and that is that we believe love is “out there somewhere”. This idea resonated with me.

Often people are looking for love, and they believe that when they find it, their lives will change for the better. In many ways, this is a passive way of engaging in any relationship. Waiting for love to find you or for the loving feeling to come over you, is essentially saying YOU can’t create love or relationship. You must WAIT for it to happen to you. And that’s not entirely true. […]

Love is an action

Posted on February 14, 2022By ChantalPosted in Happiness / In the muck / Life / Love / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perfection Detox / Perspective / Purpose / Self-care1 Comment

I find it so strange that we live in a world where we have commercialised everything to the point that even the most important things in our lives can lose their meaning and significance. I have always found the idea of Valentine’s Day a little absurd since love cannot be bought or sold. Love is not a commodity. And creating a day where we remind people of their own loneliness, disconnection, and insecurities seems like the opposite of loving to me. It seems almost cruel.

I’m not saying don’t appreciate your significant other, but I am questioning why you need a reminder to do that, or why they only get to be seen and celebrated on ONE day of the year.

Love isn’t a feeling either. The feeling you feel when you say that you are in love, is infatuation, desire, or lust. But love, real love is an ACT. Love is a way of being in the world. It’s the opposite of judgement. When I choose to show up in loving, I’m choosing to suspend judgement and to truly see the essence of the person in front of me. […]