Failure Archives - Page 2 of 4 - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Can you handle the Effort Shock?

Recently I wrote about what it means to be a hero. Something I did not touch on is just how hard it is to create a life that is different and resonant; just how much effort goes into creating a meaningful and fulfilling life. My sense is that my last article could have perhaps left you confused. I shared that heroes are not special in some way. They are not extraordinary. They don’t have special powers. They are simply ordinary people doing extraordinary things. If this is true, then why do so few of us take up the challenge? Why are we not all the heroes of our own story?

The answer is Effort Shock. Let me explain… […]

What does it mean to be a Hero?

Posted on March 28, 2023By ChantalPosted in Authenticity / Bias for action / Courage / Failure / Future Self / Goals / Gratitude / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Leadership / Life / Resilience / Story Matters1 Comment

What is a hero? Marvel and DC have taught us that heroes are special. They have incredible strength and supernatural powers, and they perform outrageous acts of courage. So, we tend to think that an average person can’t possibly be a hero. Heroes are special somehow, so they can’t be average people…

We forget to be our own heroes in life. We forget that we get to create who we want to be in the world… […]

Your Future Self wants you to love yourself NOW

Posted on March 13, 2023By ChantalPosted in Commitment / Decision-Making / Dreaming / Failure / Future Self / Goals / Inspiration / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Perspective / Planning / Purpose / Thinking / Thriving / Transformation / Values

We have always lived in a world that is characterised by change and uncertainty. We have never lived in a world that wasn’t changing…

No-one has it all figured out, because what would be the fun in being alive if there is nothing to learn? Until the day you release your last breath, you will continue to evolve. You will continue to change. When we remember our past selves, they seem quite different to who we are now. In some instances, your past self might seem like a completely different person to you, and it may even be hard to relate to who you used to be.

We know how much our personalities and tastes have changed over the years. However, for some reason, when we look ahead to the future, somehow, we expect that we will stay the same as we are NOW. We assume that we will not change as much in the future as we have changed to get to this present moment… […]

Slow down and turn around: Honouring Completions

Posted on December 28, 2022By ChantalPosted in Celebrations / Completions / Decision-Making / Failure / Goals / Life / Meaning / Planning / Purpose / Slow down / Thinking1 Comment

The New Year often evokes within most of us the need to set new year’s resolutions. It’s an invitation to start anew with a clean slate. And it’s been my experience that so often people are so eager to move forward, that they don’t take the time to slow down, turn around, and look back to where they had come from.

At the end of last year, I wrote about the value of celebrations and why I think it’s important to choose to celebrate our successes and milestones. My thoughts here are an extension of the discussion on celebrations because I also believe there is value in truly honouring completions… […]

On adulting and taking responsibility

Posted on May 31, 2022By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / Failure / Happiness / In the muck / Life1 Comment

I often come across these memes on social media that joke about what it means to be an adult. I’m sure you’ve seen some of them. The key themes tend to include finding it hard to be a responsible adult and make decisions, not knowing what you want to do with your life, or feeling like you have no clue what you are doing, feeling tired all the time, realising you are old, and getting excited about mundane things like clean dishes, dish sponges, or getting to go to bed early.

We joke about having to be an adult, but I’m guessing that many of us also secretly feel like we have no idea what we are doing. In fact, I’m willing to go as far as saying that no-one really knows what they are doing. We are all just trying to figure it out, while we hope to come across as if we do know what we are doing. […]

You don’t need motivation to get started on something

Posted on April 12, 2022By ChantalPosted in Commitment / Courage / Failure / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Inspiration / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Passion / Purpose / Resilience / Thriving / Transformation

I’ve always been a highly driven and motivated person. I seldom have difficulty getting into action on something once I’ve decided that I want to do it. I can’t relate much to procrastinating on things, because I don’t do it often. And people have often described me as someone who knows what she wants and goes after it.

Two weeks ago, I attended a coaching development workshop. In many ways it was a life-changing experience. And then almost at the very end of the workshop, I received a new insight on motivation that not only changed my perspective on the whole concept, but also made me realise why some people get into action quickly and others don’t. And I want to share what I’ve learnt with you, because it will change the way you think about motivation.

The most important thing I’ve learnt from this experience and from reflecting back on my own life experiences, is that you don’t need motivation to get started. You need something else. […]

What if rejection is redirection?

Posted on January 24, 2022By ChantalPosted in Courage / Emotional Agility / Failure / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Mindset / Perspective / Rejection / Resilience / Thriving

We’ve all been there. You ask out that person that you can’t get out of your mind, and they say no. You apply for that dream job, and it’s a no. You apply for a loan, or make an offer on a new house, or negotiate on a car, and it’s a no. You send in a proposal, apply to the university you would love to get into, send in an article to a big publication, and they say no. Rejection. It’s stings. Sometimes, it deflates you so much that you simply want to give up.

None of us get through life without being rejected along the way. For some, the rejection may have started early in life. You may have felt rejected by your parents, or your family, or your friends. For others, they are so used to getting a yes to everything they ask for, that the first rejection floors them completely.

When I started working with my coach, she introduced me to Steve Chandler’s work. Something he says often is, “yes lives in the land of no”… […]

Life Lessons from a Video Game

Posted on January 24, 2022By ChantalPosted in Emotional Agility / Failure / Grit / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindset

My husband is a video game fanatic. I have never really taken much of an interest in it, although I can appreciate the value of gamified learning. Years ago, when I completed my honour’s degree in Strategic Management, one of our courses was an online game, and it was quite a memorable experience. Sometimes simulated learning is the best way to build experience in a specific area. It provides the opportunity to learn through “failing” at challenging tasks without any drastic real-life consequences.

That said, what I want to share with you here is not so much about the importance of gamification. Rather, it relates to some interesting insights I got from listening to my husband share a story about the latest game he is currently playing called Dead Cells. […]

Starting over…

Posted on January 16, 2022By ChantalPosted in Courage / Decision-Making / Emotional Agility / Failure / Grit / In the muck / Life / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Transformation1 Comment

As someone who has left my home country and immigrated to another country, I’m often in conversation with people who are considering immigration. And one of the most popular “excuses” I hear for why someone cannot leave or why they are resistant to the idea of immigrating is, “I can’t start over”. The fear of giving up everything they had built and moving to a place they don’t know to start over from scratch, terrifies them.

And I get it. I was there too. In fact, I had ignorantly underestimated how traumatic it would be to uproot my entire life and to start again somewhere else. Now perhaps – PERHAPS – the fact that I have had to start over many, many times in my life, gave me the courage to take on the adventure of immigrating.

AND I want to point out here that there is also a false belief holding you stuck if you are scared of starting over. […]

How to be ambitious in a way that leads to fulfillment in life and work

Posted on January 6, 2022By ChantalPosted in Courage / Decision-Making / Failure / Goals / Happiness / Life / Meaning / Planning / Purpose / Transformation / Values

The dictionary defines ambition as “a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.” In a workshop with Michael Bungay Stanier recently, he said, “we unlock our greatness by working on the hard stuff.” So, it’s when we work hard on something that matters – i.e., when we are deeply ambitious – that we unlock our greatness or have a real impact.

Bungay Stanier believes that when you set a goal, you should also ask how it will matter? Who will benefit if you achieve the goal? How will you achieving the goal change the world? How will you leave the world a little better than you found it? What he is talking about, is an ambitious goal. A goal that is bigger than just reaching a deadline or acquiring a new level of performance. It’s a goal that inspires – a calling or a mission if you will. […]