Blog - Page 11 of 12 - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Chasing Dandelions

It’s so easy to look at a situation and see the problem. In fact, we are conditioned to look for problems and people are often also paid handsomely to solve problems. There are psychologists who reason that problem-solving is a critical survival skill. We anticipate problems, so we can deal with them before they threaten our survival. Problem-solving is at the core of human evolution. It is how we understand what is happening in our environment, identify things we want to change, and then figure out the things that need to be done to create the desired outcome. It could also be argued that problem-solving is the source of all new inventions, and the basis for market-based economies.

However, always looking for a problem, could also detract from our ability to see what’s good about a situation. It could rob us of our present-moment awareness and detract from our overall level of joy. I’m not saying we should let go of our desire to solve problems. However, I am advocating for a different perspective when we are looking for solutions. It’s as if we have been conditioned into problem-solving mode so much, that we now see everything as a problem – even people. […]

The secret behind greatness

Posted on June 24, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Grit / In the muck / Meaning / Mindset / Resilience

Anyone who has ever watched a great athlete, artist or musician perform, would know why we become awestruck with our heroes. They make complicated movements and actions seem effortless. When they are moving or doing the thing they love, they are in flow and it is beautiful to watch. This is one of the reasons that talent reality shows like America’s Got Talent, or The X Factor or Idols are so popular. However, there is a downside to these television shows. The problem is that they overemphasise talent at the expense of other factors that lead to success and they perpetuate the myth that excellence or greatness is mystical. However, as discussed in a previous blog post on grit, success depends on more than just talent or capability. […]

Without grit, talent remains unmet potential

Posted on June 24, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Grit / In the muck / Meaning / Mindset / Resilience

You attend your high school reunion and catch up with your friends from high school that you haven’t seen in years. While comparing career accomplishments, you are shocked to learn that the kid from school with the genius IQ, the one all the teachers thought would be spectacularly successful, has struggled with his career. How can this be you wonder? This was the person everyone thought would invent something that would change the world.

It turns out that intelligence might not be the best indicator of future success. According to psychologist Angela Duckworth, the secret to outstanding achievement isn’t talent. Instead, it’s a special blend of persistence or perseverance and passion that she calls “grit.” […]

How to use your PAWs to overcome obstacles

Posted on June 21, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / In the muck / Mindset / Resilience

I recently read The Obstacle is the Way. I felt the message of the book was timely, not just because of what we as a global society are currently facing, but also in terms of the obstacles I’m facing in my own life and career. The central message that Ryan Holiday espouses in this book is summarised by Marcus Aurelius nearly 2000 years ago: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

This thing in front of you. This obstacle blocking you from moving forward. This issue that feels insurmountable. This unexpected problem that is preventing you from doing what you want to do. The thing you dread or secretly hope won’t happen. What if it isn’t so bad? What if it is the greatest gift from the universe and it’s exactly what you need to advance your most important goal or become the person you want to become? […]

Being like the Bamboo: Cultivating Resilience

Posted on June 20, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / In the muck / Meaning / Mindset / Resilience

Bamboo can grow with many other plants of its kind or on its own. It can find a home in different regions of the world. In addition, it forms dense forests. Bamboo is incredibly resistant and flexible. It can endure large earthquakes. In fact, it doesn’t matter if its stems are cut because bamboo regenerates, heals, and grows again, even stronger and more unstoppable than before. It spends seven years growing under the soil and extending its roots before it starts growing above the ground. So, initially, it looks like nothing is happening and then suddenly, this resourceful plant starts sprouting above ground and it just keeps going.

Being like bamboo means having a resilient attitude in life. It means you accept that sometimes adversity might make you bend over, but still choosing to regenerate, heal and grow, sprouting deep and strong roots from every setback. It means cultivating the ability to bounce back to your former self; happier and more beautiful than before, after every setback. Being like bamboo, means cultivating resilience in your life. […]

Our Search for Meaning

Posted on June 4, 2020By ChantalPosted in Happiness / Life / Meaning

Ever wonder why you have that constant urge for something more in your life and career? That elusive job, that something bigger than yourself, or that special relationship that will give your life more meaning? Something that will motivate you to greater heights and make you a happier person? What drives these urges?

Perhaps a real-life story will provide some insight into this intriguing question. One of my heroes, is a man called Viktor Frankl. Given my background in psychology and organisational behaviour, I’m deeply familiar with theories of motivation that try to explain behaviour and motivation through the idea that we are striving to get different needs satisfied. However, Frankl convinced me that we have overlooked one of the most powerful needs that it at the core of all human behaviour – the need for meaning. […]

If you must fail, make sure you fail spectacularly

Posted on May 17, 2020By ChantalPosted in Failure / In the muck / Life

I think we can all agree that we live in unprecedented times. Almost daily, we are being challenged to show up differently and do things differently. Individuals and organisations are being challenged to find new ways of moving forward during this pandemic.

It might not look like it, but you do have a few choices here. You can “wait it out”, i.e. hide away or stay low and wait for all of this to pass and things to get back to normal. The problem you have with this choice is that you are putting your life on hold indefinitely, since there is no precise timeline for when exactly we will resume our “normal” lives – if ever. There are also no guarantees that we will ever go back to the way things were before this pandemic started. And then of course you are also choosing to press the pause button on your life and remain in limbo, which can become frustrating and leave you feeling trapped, isolated, alone, even desperate. Not my favourite option, I must admit. […]

Off the Beaten Path

Posted on April 11, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Gratitude / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Mindset / Thinking

As a Six on the Enneagram (i.e. Loyal Sceptic, Devil’s Advocate and Protector-Warrior), I tend to stress easily. And I worry a lot. I’ve been a high-strung person for most of my life. Part of my hyper-vigilance is probably as a direct result of growing up in a violent and dangerous home as well as living in a violent and dangerous country. Finding ways to survive when your safety and security are often threatened, has a direct impact on how your personality evolves. As a child and young adult, I would often hide my anxiety, fear, concern, worry (and sometimes sheer dread and panic) under an exterior of bravado. I would jump into challenges and face them head-on, ignoring the gnawing fear in my gut. […]

Lessons from the womb

Posted on March 28, 2020By ChantalPosted in Gratitude / Happiness / Life / Mindset / Slow down

In the early months of pregnancy, there is so much that you wonder and worry about. Will the baby be healthy? Is it a boy or a girl? Is the baby moving? What are my birthing options? Do we need to start thinking about names? The list goes on. Amidst a global pandemic you have even more items of worry to add to your list. Will it be safe to have the baby in hospital? Will I have support during the birth? Am I at risk of getting sick? Will the baby get sick?

While you are fretting and making plans on the outside; anticipating everything that could go wrong and everything you need to plan for – a baby room, clothes, maternity or newborn photos etc. – the little being inside you is happily going about his/her biggest job, which is to grow. Inside the womb, oblivious to all that is happening in the outside world, this little person is doing the one thing that he/she can do – growing and evolving, going about the business of being alive. It takes no effort, it simply is. With no outside influence, your baby has no preconceived ideas or expectations. Your baby is not comparing him/herself to another baby or worried about how much or how little progress he/she is making. They are simply doing what they feel compelled by nature to do – grow. […]

The gift in slowing down: Reduce stress and access your innate mental health

Posted on March 27, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / Happiness / In the muck / Mindset / Slow down / Thinking

Since reading Slowing Down to the Speed of Life: How to create a more peaceful, simpler life from the inside out, I have a different perspective on stress and mental health. As I explained in a previous post, Richard Carlson and Joseph Baily define true mental health as the ability to engage in free-flow thinking. They reason that we all have the capacity for positive mental health, but that as adults we are socialised into the busy mindsets of Western culture and then we become serious, analytical, stressed, depressed and unimaginative. Beginning at age five or six, and then steadily progressing into adulthood, our mental health keeps declining.

However, we have a natural ability to recover our mental health. It’s only because we lack the understanding of how our thinking works, that we feel unable to recover our mental health. Slowing down to the speed of life allows us to notice aspects of life that were previously hidden in the frenzy of a busy mind. Beneath the vicissitudes of thought, lies a spaciousness, a peacefulness of being that is incomprehensible to a mind caught in analytical thinking. When our minds aren’t racing from one thing to the next, we can gain access to our innate mental health. It’s always there. We can’t actually lose it. We just need to be willing to let go of our insistence on spinning our wheels in analytical thinking mode. […]