meaningful life Archives - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Living in the Now

Three years ago, I read the book Slowing Down to the Speed of Life for the first time, and it changed my life. Before stumbling upon this beautiful book, I had been searching for ways to slow down my mental chatter, and to become more present.

My search for presence started back in 2008 when I discovered Eckhart Tolle. I devoured all his books and audio recordings, desperately seeking to tame my ego mind, and find ways to really live more fully in the present moment. And there were times when I was able to do that, but it always felt like it was only attainable in short bursts. I had to work at it, and only a few specific things helped me stay present… […]

Live as if you are on the verge of death

Posted on October 31, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Gratitude / Happiness / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Perspective / Story Matters / Thinking

I’ve spent the last few weeks contemplating death. Now I know this might sound like quite a somber activity to be engaged in, and yet, it is not. You see, I’m not contemplating death in a suicidal way. I’m honouring death as a masterful teacher. It is as Michael Singer says in his book, The Untethered Soul, “It is truly a great cosmic paradox that one of the best teachers in all of life, turns out to be death.”

And of course, living through a global pandemic means that all of us have been confronted with death in one form or another over the last two years. Yet, no person or situation could ever teach you as much as death has to teach you. […]

Fierce loving and Emotional agility

Posted on July 26, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Emotional Agility / Failure / Life / Meaning / Resilience / Self-care / Values

Traditionally, emotions were viewed as either good or bad. People actively work to avoid feeling any of the so-called “bad” emotions. And in some cultures, even the active expression of what could be considered “good” emotions is discouraged. In some cultures, if someone is overly enthusiastic or exuberant, they are told to quiet down or to stop over-reacting, or to behave.

Susan David, author of the ground-breaking book, Emotional Agility, believes that this traditional, black-and-white approach to emotions is too rigid. In her view a too rigid view of emotions limits our potential, gets us stuck, and could potentially be truly toxic; especially given the complexity of life we face every day. For this reason, she advocates for emotional agility if we are to truly thrive and remain resilient. […]

Let’s talk about purpose…

Posted on July 6, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Decision-Making / Happiness / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Purpose / Thinking

“…we, and I mean humans, are meaning makers. We do not discover the meanings of mysterious things, we invent them. We make meanings because meaninglessness terrifies us above all things. More than snakes, even. More than falling, or the dark. We trick ourselves into seeing meanings in things, when in fact all we are doing is grafting our meanings onto the universe to comfort ourselves. We gild the chaos of the universe with our symbols. To admit that something is meaningless is just like falling backward into darkness.” ― Benjamin Hale

I love this quote by Benjamin Hale, because it beautifully summarises our biggest fear in life – i.e., what if this is all meaningless? What if none of this means anything? Do you think other animals ever contemplate the meaning of their existence or the meaning of specific events? So far, we don’t have any evidence that they do. It seems that questioning the meaning of things is a uniquely human characteristic. And as Benjamin Hale describes here, we graft our own meanings to the universe to comfort ourselves; to soothe the underlying unease we feel when we consider the possibility that it might all be meaningless.

So, why does meaninglessness terrify us? Why do we question the meaning of things? Victor Frankl went as far as postulating that the most fundamental human need is the need to find meaning. It’s what remains after we’ve been stripped of all our other needs, wants, and desires. In extreme circumstances, the meaning we attribute to something can determine whether we give up or keep pushing forward; it could literally mean the difference between staying alive and surrendering to death. […]

Contemplating Death

Posted on July 14, 2020By ChantalPosted in Gratitude / Happiness / Life / Meaning / Perspective / Thinking

I recently read The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, and in the penultimate chapter he encourages the reader to contemplate death. I found this suggested practice aligned with the Stoic practice of negative visualisation which involves imagining what life would be like without the people or things you love in an attempt to help you appreciate what you have more. We tend to take the people closest to us for granted, and we tend to ignore the simple yet profound things in our life that actually make our lives worth living. […]