Perspective Archives - Page 7 of 8 - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Create your year with intention and focus

The start of a new year is usually a time to set goals and to commit anew to the person you want to become. However, so often people don’t follow through on those initial new year’s resolutions. As soon as the novelty of the new year wears off, most of us fall back into our old behaviour patterns and forget how we promised ourselves that this year will be different. I think this year, with the global pandemic continuing to wreak havoc in our lives, most of us probably feel even less motivated than before to stay committed to our personal goals. So, what do you do when the initial euphoria of new goals wears off and you find yourself feeling a bit deflated and despondent? […]

Setting resolutions of a different kind

Posted on January 2, 2021By ChantalPosted in Courage / Decision-Making / Gratitude / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Perspective / Transformation / Values

The year 2020 was difficult and challenging in many ways. And many people were eager to say goodbye to it and to welcome 2021. I have always found it quite strange how people think that a clock striking midnight could fundamentally change their lives. You are still the same person you were one minute after midnight than one minute before midnight; unless some fundamental life-changing event transpired in the span of two minutes…

Why do we attach so much value to the countdown to a new year? We convince ourselves that we get to leave the past behind and start with a clean slate. We get to start over. Be better. Dream. Set goals. Go for it this time and really make the changes we say we want. In many ways waiting for the new year before setting those goals or making those changes, is just another way of making excuses and procrastinating or stalling on the things you know you need to change in your life. […]

The true meaning of Resilience

Posted on December 9, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Slow down / Transformation / Values

A few months ago, I wrote about how to cultivate resilience. Although most of what I shared in that article is true, I do feel like I need to expand on the idea of resilience a bit. I recently completed my training as a Certified Resilience Coach through the Leadership Wellness Group in Canada. Most of what I learned in the program, was not new to me. I’ve worked with these concepts and ideas for many years – especially during my time as a university lecturer, specialising in Organisational Behaviour and Organisational Wellness. Now, working as a coach, this knowledge has served me well in supporting my clients in cultivating their own resilience.

I think the main way in which my thinking about resilience has changed, is in how I talk to my clients about it. People often mistakenly think that resilience is a character or personality trait or that overcoming difficult situations or circumstances, makes you resilient. However, I have realised two important things about resilience. Firstly, resilience is not a personality trait that some people possess, and others don’t. Resilience – just like emotional agility or mental agility – can be learned. And secondly, it’s not overcoming difficult situations or circumstances that makes you resilient. In fact, it’s the other way around, it’s if and when you are resilient that you are able to overcome challenges or difficult situations. Let me explain. […]

Reclaiming our Citizenship

Posted on November 25, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Gratitude / Happiness / Meaning / Mindset / Perspective1 Comment

I recently started reading The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist and then had the privilege to hear her speak at a conference on Forbidden Conversations hosted by Esther Perel. Lynne Twist has so much wisdom to share on how our relationship with money is formed and the evolution that is available to us.

She reminds us that we often forget that money isn’t real. It’s something we humans invented. We originally invented money to help us navigate exchange relationships with each other and to ensure that everyone has equal access to the resources they need. However, when we invented banking and we started making money from money, money morphed into something to be chased and desired, and it became one of the biggest sources of stress, worry, anxiety and shame for many of us. Money went from being a tool that enabled fair exchange to that which ultimately defines our success in life. […]

Our backpack of boulders: The agreements we make with ourselves

Posted on November 11, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / Failure / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Mindset / Perspective / Thinking / Values

In conversation with my coach the other day, she likened our spiritual journey here on earth to that of hiking with a backpack full of boulders on your back.

Starting in childhood, and continuing through adolescence and adulthood, we accumulate beliefs, assumptions, fears, and anxieties triggered by both positive experiences, and hardships and challenges we face. These beliefs, assumptions, fears, and anxieties – like “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not smart enough”, “Losing wait is hard”, “People who have money are greedy”, “Trust no-one. People will always hurt you”, “Only some people get to be creative”, “I will never be successful”, “I’m attractive. My appearance is the only thing that makes me likeable”, etc. – are like rocks that we pick up and carry around in a backpack, with some rocks being bigger and heavier than others. Each of us has a bag of rocks that we have accumulated over the course of our lives and now carry around on our backs. Some rocks are small and can easily be discarded. Others are much bigger and more difficult to discard. […]

Embrace life the way a 4-year-old would celebrate Halloween

Posted on November 5, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Gratitude / Happiness / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Uncategorized

Back home in South Africa, we didn’t celebrate Halloween as children. And moving to Canada didn’t really entice us much to start celebrating it. However, this year has brought so much uncertainty, heartache, anxiety, frustration, and disappointment, and if we’ve learnt anything from this year, then it’s that nothing is a given, and that we don’t have as much control as we imagined. My daughter also turned 4 this October, and it’s the first time that she actually understands the concept of Halloween.

We’ve been learning the months of the year and when she realised it was October, she immediately made the connection that October was the month of Halloween. She lit up with excitement at the thought of celebrating Halloween. So, we decided that this year we would “celebrate” Halloween, by allowing her to have some fun with it. […]

Tell me what matters to you, and I’ll tell you who you are

Posted on November 2, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / Life / Meaning / Perspective / Values

As a coach, I’m really interested in what matters most to you. Phrased in another way, I’m curious about your core values. Core values drive our behaviour and are what propels us forward with passion to pursue a dream or goal. Often when we have a strong emotional reaction to a person or a situation, it’s because one of our core values was triggered. Values tell us who we are and what’s most important to us in life. They shape our character and pull us towards certain people, activities and situations. […]

Partnering with you Calendar: Schedule your Big Rocks first

Posted on October 21, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Perspective / Slow down / Thinking / Time management / Transformation

A feature of our modern lifestyles is busyness. It’s become a marker of how successful and productive we are. If you aren’t busy, then you are obviously not productive and possibly also not very successful. We’ve bought into this false belief that success requires us to be busy all the time. Consequently, I have clients who tell my they feel guilty when they slow down, take a break, or don’t have something to do. And I must admit that I myself have at times felt that I need to be busy. I’m a dynamic person. I like to stay busy and I find it hard to relax, slow down, or do nothing.

I am productive and I do get a lot done, but it’s not because I stay busy just for the sake of being busy. It’s because I discovered a secret of time management years ago that servers me to this day. Once I started applying this secret to my life, I could never go back. It has freed me from a need to overschedule or overburden myself. When I schedule my time, I do it with conscious intention and clarity about what truly matters and what I WANT to be spending my time on. […]

How to turn a limestone quarry into a lush garden

Posted on August 20, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Resilience / Transformation

Last Summer, I took a trip with my family to Vancouver Island, British Columbia and we paid a visit to The Butchart Gardens. As stated on their website: “The Butchart Gardens is a must-see oasis over 100 years in the making”. And what a privilege it was to take in the beauty of this place that stands as a testament to what is possible when one has a grand vision. The story of The Butchart Gardens has some hidden life lessons and it is also one of the most interesting family business success stories rarely told… […]

Getting to Know your Inner Critic

Posted on August 7, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / Failure / Life / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Thinking

Imagine for a moment that you are a landlord, and you have a tenant who has been living on the upstairs floor of your house for as long as you can remember. The tenant is loud and opinionated, and has, on many occasions, kept you up at night. You’ve considered evicting them, but you always avoid confrontation instead. Besides, maybe the tenant is right. Maybe your demands are too much, or you are being unreasonable and inflexible. The tenant doesn’t contribute anything to the environment you share, and criticizes you anytime you try to make an improvement in your living conditions. They don’t even pay rent! In fact, it costs YOU to have them stay in your home. And yet you let them stay.

Now you might be thinking, “no way! I would never put up with that!” And yet you do! Sometimes for decades… […]