Decision-Making Archives - Page 4 of 4 - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Getting to Know your Inner Critic

Imagine for a moment that you are a landlord, and you have a tenant who has been living on the upstairs floor of your house for as long as you can remember. The tenant is loud and opinionated, and has, on many occasions, kept you up at night. You’ve considered evicting them, but you always avoid confrontation instead. Besides, maybe the tenant is right. Maybe your demands are too much, or you are being unreasonable and inflexible. The tenant doesn’t contribute anything to the environment you share, and criticizes you anytime you try to make an improvement in your living conditions. They don’t even pay rent! In fact, it costs YOU to have them stay in your home. And yet you let them stay.

Now you might be thinking, “no way! I would never put up with that!” And yet you do! Sometimes for decades… […]

In pursuit of happiness

Posted on July 24, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / Gratitude / Happiness / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Thinking

In his 2016 book Homo Deus, Yuval Noah Harari speculates about the different projects that humanity will be pursuing in the future, which will inevitably lead to the creation or evolution of the next genus homo, which he calls Homo Deus. Harari paints an accurate picture of future trends to come of which we are already seeing signs everywhere. Future projects of humanity include: overcoming death, creating artificial life and finding the answer to happiness. Thus, the pursuit of happiness is on most people’s agendas.

Given that the newest research findings by Martin Seligman, Peter Railton, Roy Baumeister and Chandra Sripada indicate that human beings are hard-wired to anticipate and plan for the future, we can understand why it is so difficult for people to focus only on the present, and why millions of people buy books on meditation and mindfulness in attempts to learn how to stay present and find that ever-elusive thing called happiness.

But have you ever wondered why happiness feels so elusive? And why we are hard-wired to keep looking for it? In fact, most people try to actively avoid anything that will detract from their happiness. We have difficulty being with difficult emotions and we often pursue various forms of stimulation and entertainment in our desperate search for happiness… […]

Let go of finding your passion: Rather aim to develop your interests

Posted on July 1, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Passion / Perspective

When it comes to choosing a career or making a career transition, many career experts and graduation commencement speakers offer the advice that you should “find your passion”. Most people today find themselves stuck in lives and careers not of their own making. Sometimes out of desperation, and perhaps also with some hope for something better, they absorb messages proclaimed by books like the 4-hour work week. They then believe that if they could only discover their passion and find the right formula for living and working, they could live happy and productive lives and pursue meaningful jobs that ignite a fire in their bellies. However, once they start down that path, they soon discover that the Utopia that was promised is not within their reach. Thought-provoking articles like the one by Penelope Trunk entitled “5 Time management tricks I learned from years of hating Tim Ferriss” forces us to think again about the “truths” espoused by all these promises of passion and productivity. […]

The gift in slowing down: Reduce stress and access your innate mental health

Posted on March 27, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / Happiness / In the muck / Mindset / Slow down / Thinking

Since reading Slowing Down to the Speed of Life: How to create a more peaceful, simpler life from the inside out, I have a different perspective on stress and mental health. As I explained in a previous post, Richard Carlson and Joseph Baily define true mental health as the ability to engage in free-flow thinking. They reason that we all have the capacity for positive mental health, but that as adults we are socialised into the busy mindsets of Western culture and then we become serious, analytical, stressed, depressed and unimaginative. Beginning at age five or six, and then steadily progressing into adulthood, our mental health keeps declining.

However, we have a natural ability to recover our mental health. It’s only because we lack the understanding of how our thinking works, that we feel unable to recover our mental health. Slowing down to the speed of life allows us to notice aspects of life that were previously hidden in the frenzy of a busy mind. Beneath the vicissitudes of thought, lies a spaciousness, a peacefulness of being that is incomprehensible to a mind caught in analytical thinking. When our minds aren’t racing from one thing to the next, we can gain access to our innate mental health. It’s always there. We can’t actually lose it. We just need to be willing to let go of our insistence on spinning our wheels in analytical thinking mode. […]

When life gives you a “new now”

Posted on March 25, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / In the muck / Mindset

Whenever people talk about facing challenging new circumstances, they often also talk about “finding a new normal”. The question is, what is “normal” anyway? What is a “normal” response to trauma or a challenging life situation? Additionally, why talk about a season in your life as something that would have more permanence? Even long seasons in your life – e.g. that of career of parenthood – will eventually shift or change in some way or another and what you considered “normal” will no longer be “normal”. […]

Deciding: The pathway to your own personal power

Posted on February 21, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making

The life you are currently living is a direct result of the decisions you made and the actions you took in the past. Your past decisions and actions led you here and created the life you now have. What this ultimately means is that the decisions you make now and the actions you take now will create the life you will live in the future. You get to consciously author the next chapter of your life. Or, you could choose not to take any specific decisions or actions. That also becomes a choice that will lead to a default life that you might not necessarily be happy with in the future, because you are letting the environment direct your life instead of choosing to shape your own destiny. […]