Courage Archives - Page 6 of 6 - Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Setting resolutions of a different kind

The year 2020 was difficult and challenging in many ways. And many people were eager to say goodbye to it and to welcome 2021. I have always found it quite strange how people think that a clock striking midnight could fundamentally change their lives. You are still the same person you were one minute after midnight than one minute before midnight; unless some fundamental life-changing event transpired in the span of two minutes…

Why do we attach so much value to the countdown to a new year? We convince ourselves that we get to leave the past behind and start with a clean slate. We get to start over. Be better. Dream. Set goals. Go for it this time and really make the changes we say we want. In many ways waiting for the new year before setting those goals or making those changes, is just another way of making excuses and procrastinating or stalling on the things you know you need to change in your life. […]

The true meaning of Resilience

Posted on December 9, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindfulness / Mindset / Perspective / Resilience / Slow down / Transformation / Values

A few months ago, I wrote about how to cultivate resilience. Although most of what I shared in that article is true, I do feel like I need to expand on the idea of resilience a bit. I recently completed my training as a Certified Resilience Coach through the Leadership Wellness Group in Canada. Most of what I learned in the program, was not new to me. I’ve worked with these concepts and ideas for many years – especially during my time as a university lecturer, specialising in Organisational Behaviour and Organisational Wellness. Now, working as a coach, this knowledge has served me well in supporting my clients in cultivating their own resilience.

I think the main way in which my thinking about resilience has changed, is in how I talk to my clients about it. People often mistakenly think that resilience is a character or personality trait or that overcoming difficult situations or circumstances, makes you resilient. However, I have realised two important things about resilience. Firstly, resilience is not a personality trait that some people possess, and others don’t. Resilience – just like emotional agility or mental agility – can be learned. And secondly, it’s not overcoming difficult situations or circumstances that makes you resilient. In fact, it’s the other way around, it’s if and when you are resilient that you are able to overcome challenges or difficult situations. Let me explain. […]

Reclaiming our Citizenship

Posted on November 25, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Gratitude / Happiness / Meaning / Mindset / Perspective1 Comment

I recently started reading The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist and then had the privilege to hear her speak at a conference on Forbidden Conversations hosted by Esther Perel. Lynne Twist has so much wisdom to share on how our relationship with money is formed and the evolution that is available to us.

She reminds us that we often forget that money isn’t real. It’s something we humans invented. We originally invented money to help us navigate exchange relationships with each other and to ensure that everyone has equal access to the resources they need. However, when we invented banking and we started making money from money, money morphed into something to be chased and desired, and it became one of the biggest sources of stress, worry, anxiety and shame for many of us. Money went from being a tool that enabled fair exchange to that which ultimately defines our success in life. […]

Embrace life the way a 4-year-old would celebrate Halloween

Posted on November 5, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Gratitude / Happiness / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Uncategorized

Back home in South Africa, we didn’t celebrate Halloween as children. And moving to Canada didn’t really entice us much to start celebrating it. However, this year has brought so much uncertainty, heartache, anxiety, frustration, and disappointment, and if we’ve learnt anything from this year, then it’s that nothing is a given, and that we don’t have as much control as we imagined. My daughter also turned 4 this October, and it’s the first time that she actually understands the concept of Halloween.

We’ve been learning the months of the year and when she realised it was October, she immediately made the connection that October was the month of Halloween. She lit up with excitement at the thought of celebrating Halloween. So, we decided that this year we would “celebrate” Halloween, by allowing her to have some fun with it. […]

How to turn a limestone quarry into a lush garden

Posted on August 20, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Grit / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Meaning / Mindset / Passion / Perspective / Resilience / Transformation

Last Summer, I took a trip with my family to Vancouver Island, British Columbia and we paid a visit to The Butchart Gardens. As stated on their website: “The Butchart Gardens is a must-see oasis over 100 years in the making”. And what a privilege it was to take in the beauty of this place that stands as a testament to what is possible when one has a grand vision. The story of The Butchart Gardens has some hidden life lessons and it is also one of the most interesting family business success stories rarely told… […]

The secret behind greatness

Posted on June 24, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Grit / In the muck / Meaning / Mindset / Resilience

Anyone who has ever watched a great athlete, artist or musician perform, would know why we become awestruck with our heroes. They make complicated movements and actions seem effortless. When they are moving or doing the thing they love, they are in flow and it is beautiful to watch. This is one of the reasons that talent reality shows like America’s Got Talent, or The X Factor or Idols are so popular. However, there is a downside to these television shows. The problem is that they overemphasise talent at the expense of other factors that lead to success and they perpetuate the myth that excellence or greatness is mystical. However, as discussed in a previous blog post on grit, success depends on more than just talent or capability. […]

Without grit, talent remains unmet potential

Posted on June 24, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / Grit / In the muck / Meaning / Mindset / Resilience

You attend your high school reunion and catch up with your friends from high school that you haven’t seen in years. While comparing career accomplishments, you are shocked to learn that the kid from school with the genius IQ, the one all the teachers thought would be spectacularly successful, has struggled with his career. How can this be you wonder? This was the person everyone thought would invent something that would change the world.

It turns out that intelligence might not be the best indicator of future success. According to psychologist Angela Duckworth, the secret to outstanding achievement isn’t talent. Instead, it’s a special blend of persistence or perseverance and passion that she calls “grit.” […]

How to use your PAWs to overcome obstacles

Posted on June 21, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / In the muck / Mindset / Resilience

I recently read The Obstacle is the Way. I felt the message of the book was timely, not just because of what we as a global society are currently facing, but also in terms of the obstacles I’m facing in my own life and career. The central message that Ryan Holiday espouses in this book is summarised by Marcus Aurelius nearly 2000 years ago: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

This thing in front of you. This obstacle blocking you from moving forward. This issue that feels insurmountable. This unexpected problem that is preventing you from doing what you want to do. The thing you dread or secretly hope won’t happen. What if it isn’t so bad? What if it is the greatest gift from the universe and it’s exactly what you need to advance your most important goal or become the person you want to become? […]

Being like the Bamboo: Cultivating Resilience

Posted on June 20, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Failure / In the muck / Meaning / Mindset / Resilience

Bamboo can grow with many other plants of its kind or on its own. It can find a home in different regions of the world. In addition, it forms dense forests. Bamboo is incredibly resistant and flexible. It can endure large earthquakes. In fact, it doesn’t matter if its stems are cut because bamboo regenerates, heals, and grows again, even stronger and more unstoppable than before. It spends seven years growing under the soil and extending its roots before it starts growing above the ground. So, initially, it looks like nothing is happening and then suddenly, this resourceful plant starts sprouting above ground and it just keeps going.

Being like bamboo means having a resilient attitude in life. It means you accept that sometimes adversity might make you bend over, but still choosing to regenerate, heal and grow, sprouting deep and strong roots from every setback. It means cultivating the ability to bounce back to your former self; happier and more beautiful than before, after every setback. Being like bamboo, means cultivating resilience in your life. […]

Off the Beaten Path

Posted on April 11, 2020By ChantalPosted in Courage / Gratitude / Happiness / In the muck / Life / Mindset / Thinking

As a Six on the Enneagram (i.e. Loyal Sceptic, Devil’s Advocate and Protector-Warrior), I tend to stress easily. And I worry a lot. I’ve been a high-strung person for most of my life. Part of my hyper-vigilance is probably as a direct result of growing up in a violent and dangerous home as well as living in a violent and dangerous country. Finding ways to survive when your safety and security are often threatened, has a direct impact on how your personality evolves. As a child and young adult, I would often hide my anxiety, fear, concern, worry (and sometimes sheer dread and panic) under an exterior of bravado. I would jump into challenges and face them head-on, ignoring the gnawing fear in my gut. […]