The life you are currently living is a direct result of the decisions you made and the actions you took in the past. Your past decisions and actions led you here and created the life you now have. What this ultimately means is that the decisions you make now and the actions you take now will create the life you will live in the future. You get to consciously author the next chapter of your life. Or, you could choose not to take any specific decisions or actions. That also becomes a choice that will lead to a default life that you might not necessarily be happy with in the future, because you are letting the environment direct your life instead of choosing to shape your own destiny. […]
Slow Down to Speed Up
A few years ago, I worked for an executive search firm. My boss used to tell me often “slow down to speed up”. At the time, I don’t think I really understood what he meant by that. Ever since I can remember, I’ve always rushed to the next thing and the next thing. It was a key theme of my life – chasing the next thing; and never pausing long enough to celebrate, take in, or notice what was happening in the now.
When I was doing my master’s, I embarked on a spiritual journey to discover the power of now. And even though I had brief moments of being present, I still inevitably got caught in the cycle of running from one thing to the next. Then, at the end of 2017, we immigrated to Canada and suddenly everything I knew, loved and sometimes took for granted, fell away in an instant. I was faced with the uncertainty of what lay ahead with no clear plan on how I would “chase the next thing”. I was forced to slow down and to really look at my life. And it was hard. […]
Don’t major in the minor things
I recently finished reading David Bach’s book Start Late and Finish Rich where he discussed the key principles for achieving financial independence at any age. What was surprising about the book though, was the last few chapters on richer living that talks not about money, but about finding meaning and purpose in your day-to-day life.
Bach rightly states that so many people put off joy and fun to retirement; telling themselves that when they retire, they will have time to have fun or to experience joy and to do the things they want to do. The reality is that most retirees experience retirement as a shock. In fact, most executives die within the first five years of retirement. Why? […]
The Lost Art of Listening
Have you ever felt really listened to? Really understood? How did the person you were talking to make you feel heard and seen? Most of us don’t spend much time trying to understand the art of listening. In our rushed and urgent society where we feel the need to stay busy and get things done, we have lost the ability to really listen – listen with the intent of understanding the other person’s world… […]
Cultivating Your Appreciator
In Co-Active Coach Training, they teach us how to cultivate our Appreciator. That’s the part of yourself that can appreciate what is good about any situation, even in circumstances where it feels as if there is very little that is good about the situation. In fact, our deepest inner awareness and learning happens when we can activate our Appreciator.
What does it mean to appreciate something? The dictionary defines appreciation as the “recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something” or a “sensitive understanding of the aesthetic value of something”. So, it is akin to deep gratitude. One can appreciate a situation or a person. Appreciation often leads to a full understanding of the situation as apposed to a one-sided view of the situation. When you focus only on what is wrong about a specific situation or person, you are looking at it from a narrowed perspective. Allowing your appreciator in, opens a different perspective or perspectives and allows you to truly understand the fullness of the situation. […]
In the muck
Whenever you read about people’s success stories or those zero to hero stories, they always make it sound like it was mostly smooth sailing. The story always starts with a challenge or a difficult situation. Then there is this little bit in the middle where the person had to demonstrate some grit and determination and really push towards their goals. And then, they are successful and decide to tell their stories to motivate others with mantras like “If I can do it, so can you”.
The problem with these stories is that they often tell you “how” after the fact. They look back and try to imagine what they were thinking and feeling as they were overcoming their challenging circumstances and then they share platitudes that are meant to inspire action in others. However, most people who are still stuck, listen to these inspirational stories and think “Wow it really does take a special kind. I don’t think I could ever do that.” Very seldom do we actually believe that we could follow in their footsteps. […]
Dear Future Client
If you are here, then you have probably woken up to your life and felt like something is missing. Or you have experienced a traumatic event in your life that has put your life into perspective for you and now you are questioning the meaning of it all. Perhaps you have been feeling stuck for a while and your search for answers have led you here. If you are here, you are experiencing some form of existential pain. I want to you to know that I get it. I’ve had my fair share of existential pain. What you also need to know, is that this exact pain and frustration that you are experiencing right now, will provide you with the impetus you need to transform your life into a more authentic and engaging life. […]