You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems…

As I mentioned in my blog post about Creating Your Year with Intention and Focus, the start of a new year is usually a time to set goals and to commit anew to the person you want to become. However, so often people don’t follow through on those initial new year’s resolutions. As soon as the novelty of the new year wears off, most of us fall back into our old behaviour patterns and forget how we promised ourselves that this year will be different.

Let’s be clear, we are creatures of habits, and our habits often become so ingrained that we don’t even see our habits as habits. We simply think of them as how we are, or who we are. Some habits have been part of our life for so long that they are part of our identity. It’s how we see ourselves. For example, being a non-smoker, or a smoker, being vegetarian, being a runner, or someone who likes routine, being an anxious person, or someone who questions everything, etc.

And as all of us can attest, breaking bad habits that don’t serve us anymore is sometimes really hard. Cultivating new habits that are more serving of who we would like to become, can be just as hard, if not harder – especially when they come in conflict with some of our bad habits… Sometimes, even when we know something is no longer serving us, we have difficulty letting go of the habit. And it’s usually because we get some sort of pay-off from the habit. Habits always have rewards imbedded in them. That’s why we keep doing them.

So, what determines whether we stick with a new habit long enough to survive the plateau of latent potential and break through to the other side? What is it that allows some of us to slide back into old bad habits, and allows others to break through and enjoy the compounding effects of cultivating good habits?

To answer this question, I would like to share the most valuable lessons I’ve learnt from James Clear and his beautiful book Atomic Habits. You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. I think this is the essence of Clear’s message. Both successful and unsuccessful people have aspirational and inspiring goals. The difference between those who succeed and those who fail, is that the ones that succeed focus on putting systems, or processes, or habits in place to ensure that they keep going, keep creating what they want, keep making incremental progress towards what they want.

Prevailing wisdom claims that the best way to achieve what we want in life, is to set specific actionable goals. However, contrary to what you might think, the results you seek have very little to do with the goals you set, and nearly everything to do with the systems you follow. So, what is the difference between goals and systems?

Difference between goals and systems

Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results. Clear invites you to consider the following interesting question: “If you completely ignored your goals and focused only on your system, would you still succeed?” Think about it? What does your gut tell you? Let me share an example from Clear’s book that illustrates his point beautifully…

The goal in any sport is to finish with the best score, but it would be ridiculous to spend the whole game staring at the scoreboard. The only way to actually win, is to get better each day. In the words of Bill Walsh: “The score takes care of itself.” The same is true for other areas of your life. If you want better results, then forget about goals, focus on your system that supports those goals instead.

Does that mean that goals are completely useless? Of course not. Goals are good for setting a direction. Goals tell us where we want to go. It helps us maintain focus as we move forward. But systems are best for making progress. A handful of problems arise when you spend too much time thinking about your goals and not enough time designing your systems.

The problem with only having goals

The first problem, that I mentioned already, is that both winners and losers have the same goals. We concentrate on the people who end up succeeding – the survivors – and we mistakenly assume that ambitious goals led to their success; while overlooking all the people who had the same objective but didn’t succeed. Thus, if successful and unsuccessful people share the same goals, then the goal itself cannot be what differentiates those who succeed from those who don’t.

Additionally, as I shared in my blog post, In the muck, when we look at successful people, we only see the final results of their efforts. We don’t see all the effort that went into creating that success. We don’t see all the times they failed, made mistakes, got stuck, and struggled, and we then mistakenly assume that success came easy and that their climb to the top was relatively simple and straightforward, when this is simply not the case.

Cultivating a new habit takes time and commitment. It requires a resolve to keep coming back to it, even when things get tough. Growing the habit is not the issue. How we are with ourselves on the difficult days when we simply don’t feel like doing it – even though we know it would serve us to keep going – and even on those days when we make mistakes, or fall flat on our faces – that is the real issue. You can talk yourself out of any good habit if you are in enough pain.

The second problem is that achieving a goal, is only a momentary change. For example, if you have a messy room and you summon the energy to clean it; if you tidy up, you will have a clean room for now. But if you maintain the same sloppy, packrat habits that led to a messy room in the first place, soon you will be looking at a new pile of clutter, and hoping for a new burst of motivation. You are left chasing the same outcome over and over, because you never change the system behind it. You treat the symptom, without addressing the cause.

The same rule applies to crash diets, anger management classes, or quick fixes to procrastination habits. When you solve problems at the results level, you solve them temporarily. Achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment. Results should not be the focus. What we really need to focus on are the systems that lead to those results. If the system works, we can keep recreating the result we want.

The third intrinsic problem with only setting goals, is that it restricts your happiness. The implicit assumption in goals is that once you reach your goal, you will be happy. The problem with this mindset, is that you are continually putting happiness off until the next milestone. Goals create an either/or conflict. Either you achieve your goal and are successful, or you fail and you’re a disappointment. You end up boxing yourself into a narrow version of happiness which is misguided.

It’s unlikely that your actual path in life will match the exact journey you had in mind when you set out. It therefore makes no sense to restrict your satisfaction to one scenario when there are many paths to success. A systems mentality provides the answer to this conundrum. When you fall in love with the process of reaching for your goals every day, and creating anew every day, rather than with the final product or outcome, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy.

A fourth problem with only setting goals is that they are often at odds with long-term progress. The purpose of setting goals is to win a game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game; even when you lose from time to time. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking. It’s not about any single accomplishment but rather about continuous refinement, improvement, and growth. Ultimately, it’s your commitment to the process that will determine your progress, because every day that you come back and create something – even in the smallest way – you demonstrate your commitment to the person you want to become and to creating what you want every step of the way. Getting one percent better every day counts for a lot in the long run.

Three Levels/Layers of Change

James Clear postulates that transformation can happen on one of three levels or layers. Only one of those layers of transformation is real transformation that is sustainable.

The first layer of change is changing your outcomes. This layer is concerned with changing your results – for example, losing weight, buying a house, publishing a book, getting a promotion etc. Most goals you set are associated with this level of change. It’s a change that happens from the outside in. In other words, you hope that by changing your environment or circumstances, you will change your life. You hope that a fitter, slimmer you will be happier than an overweight you. You hope that a new house or car or a new job will finally bring you the happiness you’ve longed for. You hope that once you publish that novel, or start that business, or get that promotion or job offer, things will suddenly fall into place and all will be well.

The second level or layer of transformation is changing your process. This level is concerned with changing your habits and systems – for example, implementing a new routine at the gym, decluttering your desk for better workflow, developing meditation habits, etc. Most of the habits you might build over time are associated with this level. The second level of transformation is more sustainable than the first level, since it’s based on bringing about incremental changes that will result in fundamental shifts over time. This level focuses on cultivating those habits that you know will serve you in the long run, like having a morning routine, consuming nurturing food, including daily movement practices to keep yourself fit and healthy, investing in important relationships that will support you and give you a sense of meaning and belonging etc.

However, even if you cultivate these good habits, you might still not derive the level of joy, fulfilment, and life satisfaction you crave. You might still feel unhappy. And that’s because one more fundamental shift is needed.

The third and deepest layer of transformation is about changing your identity. This level is concerned with changing your beliefs, your worldview, your self-image, your judgement about yourself and others. Most of the beliefs, assumptions and biases that you hold are part of this level.

I’m reminded of a client of mine who was struggling with anxiety and procrastination when we started our work together. Even though she had incorporated some really great habits into her life – e.g.,  a morning routine of yoga, meditation and journaling, daily exercise, healthy eating, etc., she was still experiencing a lot of anxiety, and at times the internal conflict she had was debilitating. It was only when we started working at the layer of who she wanted to be – i.e., a courageous and confident person who shows up authentically, speaks her mind, and can be with herself during difficult situations – that things started to shift for her.

The beautiful habits she had cultivated over time – e.g.., yoga, meditation, journaling etc. – started taking on a deeper and more significant level of meaning to her. She used these practices not only so that she could say that she was “doing all the right things”. Rather, she spent time exploring how each of these practices made her feel about herself. She spent time working on the stories she was telling herself about who she was, or who she needed to be, and over time, she discovered that she could show up with confidence and courage in her life. She learnt how to trust herself, and be with herself during each experience. With every day that went by, she became more confident, more authentic, more powerful.

According to Clear, the ultimate in intrinsic motivation, is when a habit becomes part of your identity. There is a huge difference between saying, I’m the person who wants this versus I’m the person who IS this. True behaviour change is identity change. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you will stick with a habit, is because it becomes part of your identity; of who you see yourself to be, or who you know you have the capacity to become.

Despite what you may have believed up to now, your identity is not fixed. You can choose the identity you want by the habits you choose to reinforce today and every other day thereafter. A smoker who is serious about quitting the habit, when offered a cigarette doesn’t respond with “No, thank you. I’m trying to quit”. This response demonstrates that on the identity level, this person still sees themselves as a smoker. Their identity is still that of a smoker.

However, when you want to quit smoking and you ask yourself the question, “What would a non-smoker do?”, things start to shift, because you start seeing yourself as that which you wish to become, and you start behaving as if you are already there. So, when asked whether you would like a cigarette, you would respond with, “No, thank you. I don’t smoke”. It’s a small change in how you respond, but it is a significant shift in how you show up. You have now changed how you see yourself. You are a non-smoker. You are a healthy person. You are a loving and committed partner. You are an engaged parent… etc.

Or as Clear describes it:

“Your identity can hold you back. e.g.:

• I’m terrible with directions.
• I have a sweet tooth.
• I’m bad at math.

…or build you up, e.g.:

• I’m the type of person who doesn’t miss workouts.
• I finish what I start.
• I read every day.

Build habits that reinforce your desired identity.”

So, ultimately, you are left with these questions:

1. Who do I want to become?
2. How would I behave if I were already who I wish to become?
3. How do I need to show up to my life every day to create what I want?

Instead of merely setting goals and either beating yourself up for not reaching them, or pushing yourself to breaking point to achieve them, start with the inner work necessary to see yourself in a different way. Shift who you are being first. Then go to work putting systems and processes in place that will ensure you honour your future self. If you do end up hitting that goal, good for you! Well done on getting there. However, what I’m more interested in is who you choose to be on the days when you don’t hit the goal; when the goal feels so far out of reach; when it’s hard to get out of bed and recommit to what you want to create. How do you honour your highest self on those days?

 References:

1. Breytenbach, C. (2020). In the muck. Available online at: https://chantalbreytenbach.com/in_the_muck/
2. Breytenbach, C. (2021). Create your year with intention and focus. Available online at: https://chantalbreytenbach.com/create_your_year_with_intention_and_focus/
3. Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits: An easy and proven way to build good habits and break bad ones. New York: Penguin Random House.