“I don’t run to add days to my life. I run to add life to my days.” – Ronald Rook
“Running is about finding your inner peace, and so is a life well lived.” – Dean Karnazes
“Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it.”— Oprah Winfrey
I didn’t become a runner until much later in my life. At school I never considered myself an athlete by any stretch of the imagination. I was active, but not competitive – not in sports any way. Athleticism was simply not incorporated into my self-image at the time. I was highly academic and pursued many cultural activities too, but sports were always this thing I sort of dabbled in, for the sake of team spirit, but never really because I thought I could be any good at it.
I took up running after burning out in my academic job and realising that I needed to find more balance in my life. I was over-worked, underpaid, and very unfit. I was not enjoying my life, and I was looking for a way to increase my level of activity and handle my stress better.
I had been thinking about running for a long time, but it took tremendous courage to finally join a running club. I had failed many times at starting the process by myself. I would go for a run, burn myself out, or feel too tired and sore the next day, and then quit cold turkey. Or I would run for about a week or two and then lose interest. I realised quickly that I simply wasn’t going to get started or take myself seriously unless I created some structure and accountability around it for myself.
So, I joined a running club, and it was there amidst people from my local community – people with different levels of fitness and different motivations for running – that I fell in love with running.
It started with a pretty average run and a comment from my coach that I’m strong and that I have potential. I enjoyed my first run with my running club, so I went back for a second, and then a third, and eventually I started enjoying the routine of it. I felt better on the days that I went running than I did on the days that I didn’t. I slept better. As the months went by, and I started building strength, lung capacity, and confidence, I noticed my clothes fit better and I had more energy.
I didn’t join the running club to lose weight. I joined, because I needed an outlet for my stress – a healthy way to channel my anger and frustration; and running absolutely became that channel for me. I agree with Rob Haneisen when he says, “Running is alone time that lets my brain unspool the tangles that build up over days… I run, pound it out on the pavement, channel that energy into my legs, and when I’m done with my run, I’m done with it.” That’s how it feels. Running provides me time to process what I need to process, and just like Haneisen says, when you are done with the run, you are done processing too. I discovered the therapy available in a long, intense run on the days that I feel really angry or really sad.
My coach was encouraging and gentle and she helped me see that I might be able to do more. When I started, I was barely able to run 5 km without feeling out of breath. In just one year I went from barely being able to run 5 km to running my very first half marathon. I was hooked.
And I’ve never looked back. Something in me had shifted. With my coach’s encouragement and through persistence, I started to see myself differently. I invested in proper running shoes and a decent running watch so I could track my progress. I started to see myself as an athlete. Enrolling for my first race was like declaring myself to be a serious runner and athlete.
James Clear talks about different levels of change and he argues that the deepest and longest lasting level of change is, at the identity level, i.e. when you start to see yourself differently. He uses the example of someone who wants to quit smoking. A smoker who sees themselves as someone who is “trying to quit smoking” will struggle to create long-term change, and might fall back into the old habit of smoking when there is sufficient temptation around. However, a smoker who no longer sees themselves as a smoker, and who responds to an offer to smoke with “no thank you. I don’t smoke”, is transforming their life at the identity level. They see themselves as a non-smoker, not as a smoker who is trying to quit smoking.
There is a significant difference between those two modes of being. Once I saw myself as a runner, it was no longer negotiable for me. Running was now a part of my life.
And there have been times since then that I have stopped running for a time – for example during both my pregnancies – but I always come back to it. It’s part of my being now. When I see someone else running, I get the urge to run and when I discover a new trail or road I haven’t explored, I imagine myself running that trail or road. I can feel and hear my feet hitting the road, I can feel the wind in my hair, and I know how I will feel after my run.
I wanted to share my running story here, because running has taught me so much about life. There are some incredible life lessons to take away from running and I would like to share them with you here.
The value of solitude and reflection
“There is something magical about running; after a certain distance, it transcends the body. Then a bit further, it transcends the mind. A bit further yet, and what you have before you, laid bare, is the soul.” – Kristin Armstrong
I love this quote by Kristin Armstrong where she describes the transcendental magic in running. Running is so much more than a physical activity. For me, at least, it is much more mental and emotional than it is physical. When you are out on the road, you get to know yourself. You learn about your biggest fears and regrets. You learn how much stamina you really have, and whether your mental chatter is mostly positive or mostly negative. What you tell yourself during the run affects how you finish the run and how you feel afterwards.
In the quiet solitude of a long run, I have gotten acquainted with my mind and my deepest inner yearnings and thoughts. I have discovered things about myself and my own level of resilience. I’ve solved some of my most challenging problems and stumbled upon solutions to other things in my life. So often, I have returned from a run, inspired, or energised after seeing something I haven’t seen before, or finally solving a problem I had been mulling over for days.
I’ve also unearthed some of my greatest fears and frustrations and run until my lungs burnt and my legs could no longer carry me. And then I would run some more, until I felt like I had cried all the tears I could, or let out all the anger and frustration I was feeling when things in my life got hard. Running has saved my life and my relationships over and over. It’s where I go to battle it out with my own ego. I always come home as a better version of myself.
Learn to love the middle part of the journey
As a new runner, I used to dash out onto the road as quickly as possible and I would burn myself out before I could complete a long run. That was before I understood the mental and emotional value of running… My coach taught me to start slower than the pace I know I could comfortably manage, and to put away some energy reserves for the end of the run or race. It took a couple of months for me to learn how to adjust my pace to the length of the race or the time I had left on a run.
I used to love the beginning and the end of a run. In the beginning, I would still have lots of energy, and the end would signal that I had completed what I had set out to do and I was allowed to stop and rest. The dopamine high at the end of a run is as amazing as they say. There have been some fascinating research studies that have shown how a runner’s high lights up the same areas of the brain that light up when someone is high on something like cocaine.
I didn’t always like the middle part of a run. That was the hard part. Over the years I’ve learnt to love the middle part of the run. You see that is where the real running actually happens. Not only is this where you build your physical endurance, it’s also where your mental resilience is cultivated. Or as Rich Davis says, “Long distance running is 90 percent mental, and the other half is physical.”
You see, the conversations you have with yourself as you run – i.e., in the muck when things are hard – determines how you finish. Will you finish strong or weak? Or will you quit altogether before you reach the end?
And so it is with life. So many of us enjoy the first part or we dream about retirement, but we resent the drudgery of the middle part. However, when you think about it, the middle part is where life is really happening. In the middle you are challenged and stretched, you evolve as a person. Your goals shift, your desires change. You acquire skills, you pursue passions, you fall in love, you get disappointed, you fail, and learn, and grow, and evolve on this journey of life.
Life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. The road is long and sometimes unpredictable, and yet, when you look back on it, it feels like it went by in the blink of an eye. Because as much as life is long, it’s also so very very short. And the things we get stuck in – the muck we think we will never get out of – change and we find ourselves in new muck. We can go through life constantly complaining about having to be in the muck, or we can choose to love every phase of the journey and simply embrace what is ahead of us in the road.
The art of self-care
From running I’ve also learnt the real meaning of resilience. You see, we often buy into this idea that resilience is about overcoming difficulties or having survived challenges or traumatic events in our lives. But we have it backwards. Resilience is not about surviving. Resilience is what you cultivate BEFORE you must overcome difficulties and survive traumas. It’s what you go in with that determines how you finish.
As I explained in a previous article about the true meaning of resilience, the core components for physical mastery that lead to resilience include sufficient sleep, adequate nutrition and regular movement or physical exercise. In my running practice I’ve learnt the value of all three of these.
On the days that I don’t get enough sleep, my runs are sluggish, and I struggle. Don’t ever underestimate the importance of sleep for performance – not just in running, but in any endeavour. Often when we are under pressure to deliver on an important project or we feel overwhelmed by work, we forgo sleep, telling ourselves that we can’t afford to sleep. We need to get the work done.
But think about it. How productive are you really when you are not sleeping? How much do you actually get done? I have played that game with myself; telling myself that I cannot afford to sleep and trying to push through to complete a task. And usually, it takes me much longer to get the task done. When I sleep and then return to the task, I get it done in half the time. Why? Because my mind is rested. I can think clearly. I have more energy. I can be productive.
Feeding your body the right nutrients, ensures that you fuel your body for the day. There is no greater act of love and respect for you body than feeding it whole foods and treating it with the respect it deserves. Regardless of how you feel about your body right now, pause for a moment to appreciate the different ways it serves you; how it gets you where you need to be, and how it allows you the opportunity to navigate this world.
We often neglect to appreciate the wonder of our bodies, until we fall ill, and we are no longer able to perform the things we usually did without giving much thought to it.
I realise that you might feel like there are things about your body you would like to change, but what I have learnt from Nathanial Branden, is that you can’t change what you are not willing to accept. So, before you can change anything, you first need to accept what is.
And accepting what is doesn’t mean you have to approve of it. It simply means you accept reality. Branden suggests standing in front of a full-length mirror and really looking at your body, every part of it. And simply acknowledging what you see. With full acceptance, it becomes possible to change what you don’t like and can change. And you learn to live with the parts that you don’t like, but can’t change.
In my youth I struggled with my body a lot. I did not always like what I saw in the mirror. Then came my struggles with infertility and pregnancy and today I am in absolute awe of what my body has done for me; how powerfully it has served me and still continues to. My body is strong, it is powerful, it heals, it repairs, it loves, it brings forth life, it provides sustenance for my baby. It carries me through this world. I get to travel and see the world thanks to this body. I get to read and write and learn. I get to laugh and sing and dance. I get to experience life in all its complexities thanks to this beautiful body of mine.
So, as an act of love and respect, I feed it generously. I feed it with good, colourful, flavoursome food. I nurture and respect it, because it serves me every day of my life.
We are what we consistently do
Running has also taught me the importance of consistency. If you are to maintain and build fitness in running, consistent time on the road is a MUST. You cannot run once a month or once every couple of weeks. You must run three to four times a week if you are serious about building fitness. And if you delay too much between runs, you lose whatever fitness you have built. So, consistency matters.
My coach taught me that all that matters is miles on the legs. It doesn’t matter how fast or how slow you go. And I want to add that once you start, just keep doing it. Keep coming back to it. As often as possible. And over time, you learn to love the process. You start to feel different in your body. You start to notice that you can hold out for longer and that you breathe easier. Miles on the legs. That’s all.
When I’m training for races, I might keep track of speed, pace and distance. But most of the time, my only goal is movement. Have I moved today? Have I allowed my body time and space to move? Whether that is through running, or yoga, or simply taking a walk. It doesn’t matter how you move. It only matters that you do. Every day.
So, I have days where I am simply too tired to run. Or I don’t have the time. I will still go for a walk. Why? Because my goal is movement. My goal is persistence. My goal is respect for my body.
The fact that you are alive means that you are tasked with living
What I love about running is that there are no hurdles to joining. It’s not merely reserved for the elite. It doesn’t require membership to some elite club or any special equipment or machinery. It simply requires a willingness to start. And it’s open to anyone. It’s like John Bingham says, “If you run, you are a runner. It doesn’t matter how fast or how far. It doesn’t matter if today is your first day or if you’ve been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run.”
Isn’t that also true of life? We are flung into this world and tasked with figuring out what living looks like. And every single person is challenged by life to find their own way in the time they are here. What I’ve learnt from participating in big races is that every person’s journey is different, and it doesn’t really matter how many other people are on the road with you. Your journey with yourself ultimately determines how you finish.
Some people will finish ahead of the pack. They will run a strong race and distinguish themselves from the crowd. The majority will run in the middle of the pack, trying to figure out their pace, and hoping they can see it through to the end. Others still, will finish slower, and perhaps with less fanfare than the front runners. But at the end of the day, everyone finishes at their own pace and in their own time.
In the middle of a gruelling half marathon or full marathon, no-one is really thinking about what others are doing. You see, in those moments, you are facing your own internal struggle. You are battling your own demons of self-doubt. You are negotiating with yourself, you are gauging your own progress and how likely you are to finish the race, and you are pushing yourself through limits you never thought you had.
Start where you are
As with anything in life, you’ve got to start where you are; whether that is with five minutes or 50 minutes. My coach taught me the value of small steps. You would start with whatever time you can manage. You would then do three runs at that time, and then increase your time by only two and a half minutes. Then you would do three runs at the new time before increasing your time again with only two and a half minutes. Slowly and gradually, you build lung capacity, fitness, and confidence, and before you know it, you discover that you can run for 60 minutes and not feel tired or out of breath.
Don’t ever underestimate the value of small steps, consciously taken and with persistence towards a specific goal. It is how we do anything in life. Think about it and you will see the truth of it. Anything you have ever had to learn or accomplish in your life, started with one small step, and then the next and then the next. Great things don’t happen in leaps and bounds, they happen ONE SMALL STEP AT A TIME.
I share this with you not because I necessarily want you to take up running. If this has inspired you to take up running, good for you! Welcome to the race of life. If not, that’s fine too. I’d rather you take up something that intrigues YOU. Choose something that resonates with you or that you’ve always wanted to try, but haven’t had the courage to, and then take the first step. Ask yourself, “what is the smallest unit of action I could take today to get started?’ and then tomorrow you ask, “what is the smallest unit of action I could take today to keep going with this?”
Live with intention every day
“I run because if I didn’t, I’d be sluggish and glum and spend too much time on the couch. I run to breathe the fresh air. I run to explore. I run to escape the ordinary. I run…to savour the trip along the way. Life becomes a little more vibrant, a little more intense. I like that.” ― Dean Karnazes
I love the quote by Dean Karnazes. It encapsulates the essence of intentional living. And it reminds you to be an active participant in your life. You can choose to be a spectator, and you would miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to fully experience life in all its different shades.
Or you can choose to get off the coach, put on your shoes, and get out there. Explore. Discover the extraordinary beauty of life. Savour every step of the trip. Stop to breathe and take it all in. And above all, make sure every experience is intense and intentional. Stay present even during the difficult parts of the race, because before you know it, the finish line is right there in front of you. And if you’ve stayed committed to yourself and your experience throughout the race, you will burst through that finish line and finish strong. I aim to finish strong and with finesse. Will you join me?
References:
- Branden, N. (1995). The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field. New York: Bantam Books.
- Breytenbach, C. (2020). In the muck. Available online at: https://chantalbreytenbach.com/in_the_muck/
- Breytenbach, C. (2020). The true meaning of Resilience. Available online at: https://chantalbreytenbach.com/true_meaning_of_resilience/
- Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits: An easy and proven way to build good habits and break bad ones. New York: Penguin Random House.