“For me, the opposite of scarcity is not abundance. It’s enough.” – Brené Brown.
In his book, Right Now, Steve Chandler challenges the whole notion of striving for abundance and he has changed the way I think about abundance. So today, I want to talk to you about abundance.
I’m sure you’ve heard of, and most probably personally experienced, a scarcity mindset at least once in your life. A scarcity mindset is believing that there isn’t enough, or you will run out, or if someone else wins, it means you lose. A scarcity mindset can wreak havoc in people’s lives. No-one describes the global scarcity mindset we all live in better than Lynne Twist in her beautiful book, The Soul of Money.
In this book she shares the three myths we use to perpetuate the scarcity mindset. The first myth is that there is never enough – never enough time, energy, money, space, resources, opportunities etc. Some of us even start our days that way. We wake up and think, “I didn’t sleep enough” or “I don’t have enough time”, or “I won’t get enough done today”.
The first myth leads us to the second myth, which is more is better. Our logic tells us that if there is not enough, then more is always better. So, we strive for more – more money, more space, more houses, more cars, more clothes, more gadgets, more food… In fact, some of us live in fear that if we stop striving for more, we will “fall behind” or worse we might die.
Some people are awakening to the realisation that perhaps more is not better, and yet, they aren’t taking action to change that, and that is usually because of the third myth, which is that’s just the way it is. And thus, we shrug our shoulders and resign ourselves to lives characterised by mad haste, rush, anxiety, and worry. We strive and push and drive ourselves into the ground. And all because we believe there is nothing that can be done about this. In the process we co-create what Robert Holden calls a manic society that is hooked on destination addiction.
For many of us, they way we try to deal with our fear that there isn’t enough, is we tend to hope and strive for abundance. We tell ourselves that if we have abundance, then we will be happy, and all will be great. The word abundance pops up everywhere on the Internet, and especially in the worlds of spiritual healing and personal growth. People treat abundance as the ultimate goal. Some will even create positive affirmations for themselves or go for meridian tapping and all sorts of strange “therapies” that supposedly will bring more abundance.
From Steve Chandler’s perspective, this way of thinking is basically saying you are waiting for or trying to “attract” money and abundance from a distance. He says it’s “the dreamy goal of new agers everywhere”. And what he means by that, is that it’s totally unrealistic and passive, because it requires no real action from your side.
Also, have you considered what the word abundance actually means? The true meaning of abundance is excess or an over-sufficient supply of something. Steve says seeking abundance; wanting it all, is vulgar. And I’ve never thought about it that way. He says that seeking abundance means that you are seeking “… an overwhelming and unnecessary plentiful amount of something. You actually have enough to gag on… Imagine all the people praying for that? I want to gag, Lord. Let me gag on material things…”
Steve reasons that people think that if you don’t call it “money”, and you call it “abundance”, it’s more ‘spiritual’”, but is it? Is the answer to scarcity really the exact opposite – i.e., an overly excessive and unnecessarily plentiful amount? So much that you drown in it or gag from it? Would that really bring joy and contentment?
For me personally, the answer is no. And that became really apparent to me about five years ago when my husband and I started on our minimalism journey. Before we immigrated to Canada, we got rid of more than half of our stuff. And when we arrived here, we had to get rid of even more stuff, simply because we had no space for it. And it was so freeing, because we discovered that we don’t really need all the excess stuff. Suddenly our lives became simpler and easier to manage.
I’ve never functioned well in a messy or chaotic environment. Having less stuff, means there is less to clean and organise. It gives you more time to enjoy life. And it keeps things simple. With only a handful of outfits to choose from, getting dressed in the morning is simple. And I only buy what I really need and only what is truly going to serve my life. If it’s not functional and it won’t serve a meaningful purpose, I don’t buy it. And when I do buy something, I appreciate it so much more, because I’m not constantly overwhelmed by stuff.
Steve Chandler reasons wanting enough to gag on is tortured thinking and it’s a direct result of holding onto scarcity thoughts and beliefs. Like I said, we are embedded into the three myths that keep the scarcity mindset going. And yet, if you are willing to drop the third myth – i.e., that that is just the way it is – you will discover that there is another way. It’s called enough. I don’t need abundance. I simply need enough. Enough for my family. Enough energy to get my work done. Enough passion to serve my community. Enough money to buy what I need. Enough for a good life.
What’s enough? My coach has asked me this question often over the last couple of years. And I have asked my clients the same question. Asking “what’s enough?”, helps me catch myself in scarcity thinking and reminds me to think in terms of what I need to create what I want in life.
I’ve had to do a lot of work on my own money beliefs over the last few years, and in the process, I unearthed one little gem of a belief that has supported me so much in my life. For some reason or another, I have always believed that I will have the money I need to do the things I really want or need to do. And I have faced job losses, and months without income, and yet, when I needed the funds for something, it showed up in my life at just the right time. And it was always enough. Enough to pay for what I wanted or needed most.
It wasn’t until I started doing the deep money work, that I realised how important this one belief was in supporting me in my life. Of course, I don’t always have that clarity of mind. I’ve spent just as much time worrying about small things, like toiletries of food that might run out and that we won’t have enough. I used to think it was helpful to hoard those things, “just in case” you know. And then when we immigrated, we couldn’t bring any of my stockpiles with us and I realised how silly it was, because I had stockpiled thinking that it would create abundance, when actually it created waste.
At the start of the pandemic when people were buying up all the toilet paper, we didn’t jump on the opportunity to do that. We were overly cautious and simply stayed home. And then when we needed to buy toilet paper, it had run out. The next day, our neighbour brought us some toilet paper. I was amazed. Again, I received just enough. And I didn’t even have to fight for it. Life literally just gave me some toilet paper.
Now, I imagine this might sound funny. I’m going on about toilet paper as if it is the holy grail. But you can probably recall what it was like in those early days of the pandemic when people were panic buying. One of the things I had promised myself in life, is that I don’t want my loved ones to have to sort through my junk one day when I die. So, I want to make it as simple as possible for them. And besides, I enjoy less clutter anyway. It keeps life simple and helps me appreciate what I have.
Strangely enough, I often feel as if I have an abundance of things, in the sense that I have enough to share with others. And I have realised that I can be generous in many ways. I can be generous with my time, with my attention, with my compassion and forgiveness, with my loving patience. In a world that is starving for connection and attention, there is nothing more valuable than slowing down and giving someone your full attention and focus. There is nothing more valuable and meaningful than listening deeply, caring passionately, and serving fiercely.
So, dear reader, I wonder what would happen if you started asking yourself that question: What’s enough?
References:
- Chandler, S. (2017). Right Now: Mastering the Beauty of the Present Moment. Florida: Maurice Bassett.
- Holden, R. (2018). Destination Addiction. TEDxFindhornSalon. Available online at: https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_holden_destination_addiction/transcript?language=en
- Twist, L. (2017). The Soul of Money: Reclaiming the wealth of our inner resources. New York: Norton.