Chantal, Author at Chantal Breytenbach Coaching

Lessons from the womb

In the early months of pregnancy, there is so much that you wonder and worry about. Will the baby be healthy? Is it a boy or a girl? Is the baby moving? What are my birthing options? Do we need to start thinking about names? The list goes on. Amidst a global pandemic you have even more items of worry to add to your list. Will it be safe to have the baby in hospital? Will I have support during the birth? Am I at risk of getting sick? Will the baby get sick?

While you are fretting and making plans on the outside; anticipating everything that could go wrong and everything you need to plan for – a baby room, clothes, maternity or newborn photos etc. – the little being inside you is happily going about his/her biggest job, which is to grow. Inside the womb, oblivious to all that is happening in the outside world, this little person is doing the one thing that he/she can do – growing and evolving, going about the business of being alive. It takes no effort, it simply is. With no outside influence, your baby has no preconceived ideas or expectations. Your baby is not comparing him/herself to another baby or worried about how much or how little progress he/she is making. They are simply doing what they feel compelled by nature to do – grow. […]

The gift in slowing down: Reduce stress and access your innate mental health

Posted on March 27, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / Happiness / In the muck / Mindset / Slow down / Thinking

Since reading Slowing Down to the Speed of Life: How to create a more peaceful, simpler life from the inside out, I have a different perspective on stress and mental health. As I explained in a previous post, Richard Carlson and Joseph Baily define true mental health as the ability to engage in free-flow thinking. They reason that we all have the capacity for positive mental health, but that as adults we are socialised into the busy mindsets of Western culture and then we become serious, analytical, stressed, depressed and unimaginative. Beginning at age five or six, and then steadily progressing into adulthood, our mental health keeps declining.

However, we have a natural ability to recover our mental health. It’s only because we lack the understanding of how our thinking works, that we feel unable to recover our mental health. Slowing down to the speed of life allows us to notice aspects of life that were previously hidden in the frenzy of a busy mind. Beneath the vicissitudes of thought, lies a spaciousness, a peacefulness of being that is incomprehensible to a mind caught in analytical thinking. When our minds aren’t racing from one thing to the next, we can gain access to our innate mental health. It’s always there. We can’t actually lose it. We just need to be willing to let go of our insistence on spinning our wheels in analytical thinking mode. […]

When life gives you a “new now”

Posted on March 25, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making / In the muck / Mindset

Whenever people talk about facing challenging new circumstances, they often also talk about “finding a new normal”. The question is, what is “normal” anyway? What is a “normal” response to trauma or a challenging life situation? Additionally, why talk about a season in your life as something that would have more permanence? Even long seasons in your life – e.g. that of career of parenthood – will eventually shift or change in some way or another and what you considered “normal” will no longer be “normal”. […]

Slowing down to the speed of life

Posted on March 24, 2020By ChantalPosted in Happiness / Slow down / Thinking

I recently read Slowing Down to the Speed of Life: How to create a more peaceful, simpler life from the inside out and became acquainted with the idea of slowing down your thinking to the pace of life with the intention of reducing stress and experiencing more joy in your life. For the most striking example of living naturally in the moment, just look at young children. They are full of life, running around and playing with their friends. They turn from one activity to the next with endless enthusiasm. Games of hide-and-seek become an opportunity for unlimited imagination, exploration and curiosity. They don’t get bored or tired of being in the moment. Most children have enormous amounts of energy and are unconditionally loving. They make adults envy their innocent and uncontaminated approach to life. […]

The Value of Stoic Principles in Times of Crisis

Posted on March 20, 2020By ChantalPosted in Happiness

We find ourselves in trying times. It is difficult to not let the global sense of panic and dread seep into my bones as I read the news or look at the latest COVID-19 statistics. I’m saddened by what this global pandemic will mean in terms of lives lost, families torn apart, and the long-term impact of a global economic downturn that is predicted to be worse than the global financial crisis of 2008. We have no idea how long this pandemic will continue or where it will end, but there seems to be no point in wallowing in all that is broken and that could go wrong.

I’m remined of a book on Stoic principles I read last year, entitled A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy. I found that a refresher of some of the principles discussed in The Guide to a Good Life can really serve in figuring out the best way to be during these unprecedented times. […]

Deciding: The pathway to your own personal power

Posted on February 21, 2020By ChantalPosted in Decision-Making

The life you are currently living is a direct result of the decisions you made and the actions you took in the past. Your past decisions and actions led you here and created the life you now have. What this ultimately means is that the decisions you make now and the actions you take now will create the life you will live in the future. You get to consciously author the next chapter of your life. Or, you could choose not to take any specific decisions or actions. That also becomes a choice that will lead to a default life that you might not necessarily be happy with in the future, because you are letting the environment direct your life instead of choosing to shape your own destiny. […]

Slow Down to Speed Up

Posted on February 8, 2020By ChantalPosted in Gratitude / Happiness / In the muck / Slow down

A few years ago, I worked for an executive search firm. My boss used to tell me often “slow down to speed up”. At the time, I don’t think I really understood what he meant by that. Ever since I can remember, I’ve always rushed to the next thing and the next thing. It was a key theme of my life – chasing the next thing; and never pausing long enough to celebrate, take in, or notice what was happening in the now.

When I was doing my master’s, I embarked on a spiritual journey to discover the power of now. And even though I had brief moments of being present, I still inevitably got caught in the cycle of running from one thing to the next. Then, at the end of 2017, we immigrated to Canada and suddenly everything I knew, loved and sometimes took for granted, fell away in an instant. I was faced with the uncertainty of what lay ahead with no clear plan on how I would “chase the next thing”. I was forced to slow down and to really look at my life. And it was hard. […]

Don’t major in the minor things

Posted on February 5, 2020By ChantalPosted in Gratitude / Happiness2 Comments

I recently finished reading David Bach’s book Start Late and Finish Rich where he discussed the key principles for achieving financial independence at any age. What was surprising about the book though, was the last few chapters on richer living that talks not about money, but about finding meaning and purpose in your day-to-day life.

Bach rightly states that so many people put off joy and fun to retirement; telling themselves that when they retire, they will have time to have fun or to experience joy and to do the things they want to do. The reality is that most retirees experience retirement as a shock. In fact, most executives die within the first five years of retirement. Why? […]

The Lost Art of Listening

Posted on February 3, 2020By ChantalPosted in Coaching

Have you ever felt really listened to? Really understood? How did the person you were talking to make you feel heard and seen? Most of us don’t spend much time trying to understand the art of listening. In our rushed and urgent society where we feel the need to stay busy and get things done, we have lost the ability to really listen – listen with the intent of understanding the other person’s world… […]

Cultivating Your Appreciator

Posted on February 2, 2020By ChantalPosted in Gratitude

In Co-Active Coach Training, they teach us how to cultivate our Appreciator. That’s the part of yourself that can appreciate what is good about any situation, even in circumstances where it feels as if there is very little that is good about the situation. In fact, our deepest inner awareness and learning happens when we can activate our Appreciator.

What does it mean to appreciate something? The dictionary defines appreciation as the “recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something” or a “sensitive understanding of the aesthetic value of something”. So, it is akin to deep gratitude. One can appreciate a situation or a person. Appreciation often leads to a full understanding of the situation as apposed to a one-sided view of the situation. When you focus only on what is wrong about a specific situation or person, you are looking at it from a narrowed perspective. Allowing your appreciator in, opens a different perspective or perspectives and allows you to truly understand the fullness of the situation. […]