“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” – Plato
“The fear of becoming a ‘has-been’ keeps some people from becoming anything.” – Eric Hoffer
Back home in South Africa, we didn’t celebrate Halloween as children. And moving to Canada didn’t really entice us much to start celebrating it. However, this year has brought so much uncertainty, heartache, anxiety, frustration, and disappointment, and if we’ve learnt anything from this year, then it’s that nothing is a given, and that we don’t have as much control as we imagined. My daughter also turned 4 this October, and it’s the first time that she actually understands the concept of Halloween.
We’ve been learning the months of the year and when she realised it was October, she immediately made the connection that October was the month of Halloween. She lit up with excitement at the thought of celebrating Halloween. So, we decided that this year we would “celebrate” Halloween, by allowing her to have some fun with it.
Where we would usually travel and explore, and have a lot to look forward to, this year involved no travel, and a lot of exploring of what was right at our doorstep. It also involved little mini celebrations at home for every family member’s birthday. So, having some fun with Halloween seemed like a much better alternative than sulking and feeling depressed.
Watching my daughter in the days building up to Halloween as well as on the day, I was in awe of her innocence and enthusiasm, and of how she could derive so much joy from such simple things. So, upon reflection, I want to invite you to consider approaching your life with the joy, optimism, and gratitude that a four-year-old brings to a simple pagan holiday. Here are some of the key lessons I learnt from my daughter this Halloween.
For kids dressing up for Halloween is part of the fun, and my daughter was no exception. She could not wait to dress up for Halloween.
So, the first lesson is that if you want to get the most out of your day, you need to get up and claim your day. Start your day early and dress up, even if you are working from home.
I think so many of us have fallen into work-from-home leisure wear over the last few months, but I believe that without our desire to get up, get dressed, and face the day, we’ve also lost the motivation to show up fully to our lives. The simple action of getting dressed for the day, renews our commitment to the day and to our life.
My daughter wanted to carve a pumpkin. So, when we heard that they were giving away free Halloween pumpkins in the park, we took her to pick out her own pumpkin. She chose the biggest one and insisted on carrying it home by herself.
Sometimes life gives you a pumpkin. Sometimes you don’t want the pumpkin, so you complain about having to carry the pumpkin. However, everything in life is a choice. We get to choose how we feel about our pumpkin. Even with her small little arms, my daughter grabbed hold of her pumpkin and carried it with pride. She embraced what she had received, and we ended up carving a stunning pumpkin.
Of course, we have never carved a pumpkin before, so we had to watch a few videos and learn the art of carving pumpkins. It was “icky” work, but she dove in, driven by the inspiration of a lit-up pumpkin with the face of an owl.
You get to decide what your pumpkin will look like. Will he be smiling, crying, frowning, scolding, or laughing with joy…? And how much light will your pumpkin bring to this world?
I tried to explain to my daughter that due to the global pandemic, normal trick-or-treat activities would not be possible and that we would simply enjoy the day at home. However, on the morning of Halloween she came downstairs and requested some sweets – or “candy”, as they call it here in Canada. I figured she wanted to eat the candy, since it was Halloween and that’s what kids do on Halloween. I gave her a few pieces of candy and then watched her pack them out on the table next to her carved pumpkin. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was putting out candy for the people who would come knocking. I told her there wouldn’t be any people, but she held firm that she was expecting guests.
Within the hour there was knocking on our front door, and the kids from next door and from across the street had brought her some bags with candy. When she heard the doorbell, she said, “See Mommy, I told you there would be guests”, as she ran downstairs to greet them.
I was in awe of her strong sense of conviction and hope. She prepared for what she expected, and she was rewarded. As adults, how many of us still dream and pursue our dreams with conviction and determination? How many of us are still able to hope and believe in the good of people?
As we get older, we often find ourselves stuck in lives we did not choose, because we were too afraid to take a leap of faith and chase our dreams. Fear can hold us back from pursuing our dreams. Fear can make us hide away and not show up to our lives.
Interestingly, fear and excitement evoke the same physical responses in the body. Both fear and excitement lead to a racing heart, sweaty palms and the like. You get to choose whether you tell yourself that what you are feeling is fear, or excitement. When I look at my daughter, it’s clear that she has opted for excitement.
There is much wisdom to be gained from spending time with pre-schoolers…
