If you are here, then you have probably woken up to your life and felt like something is missing. Or you have experienced a traumatic event in your life that has put your life into perspective for you and now you are questioning the meaning of it all. Perhaps you’ve been feeling stuck for a while and your search for answers have led you here. If you are here, you are experiencing some form of existential pain. I want to you to know that I get it. I’ve had my fair share of existential pain. What you also need to know, is that this exact pain and frustration that you are experiencing right now, will provide you with the impetus you need to transform your life into a more authentic and engaging life.
You might be reading this and wondering how on earth the pain you are experiencing right now could be of value to you. There is value in every experience, if we are willing to explore it. We cannot truly appreciate joy, elation, gratitude and contentment if we haven’t lived through our share of anguish, frustration, anger, fear and desperation. Every experience teaches us something about ourselves, about other people and about the world. What people don’t tell you, is that you can choose how you want to show up to each experience. You can choose how you want to shape your learning experiences. How would I do that, you might ask?
By rediscovering your authentic self, excavating your values, clarifying your life purpose and choosing which path most resonates with you – even if it’s not the path that others want you to pursue. To live a life of full engagement requires a willingness to let go of others’ perceptions of you and to bravely step into yourself. It requires the willingness to take up the space the universe intended for you. It requires claiming your voice and taking a stand for what you value or what you believe in. It requires bravely exploring what is holding you back, what you can’t be with and what could be possible if you let go of self-limiting beliefs and behaviours.
This might sound too good to be true. It might sound like I do some sort of voodoo magic. But it simply requires that you bravely show up to your life, pay attention to your behaviours and consider the powerful questions I pose to you to deepen your own learning and forward your action on the things that matter most to you.
Why is a coaching relationship so different from other relationships in your life?
A coaching relationship is all about you. I show up to our relationship as your biggest fan. I hold you as naturally resourceful, creative and whole. What this means is that I trust that you can solve your own problems; that you are resilient enough to bounce back from setbacks; that you want to learn and grow and live a more aligned and authentic life.
Usually when we try to solve our problems, we get stuck in our heads and we try to logically analyse the problem or situation and come up with a rational solution. Unfortunately, it means that we ignore other resources at our disposal. There are different ways of looking at a problem. Trying to solve it logically in your head, is but one way of approaching it. It tends to be most people’s preferred way of solving problems, because we’ve been conditioned to believe that we need to be rational and logical to solve problems.
In coaching, you will discover that you are a multi-dimensional being and you have access to so much more information than you realise. You will learn to appreciate the value of your emotions and your body, and we will also explore what your heart wants and needs, and not just what you think the rational answer should be. We will explore different perspectives to get you unstuck from the perspective you’ve been clinging to for much too long. It’s exactly the perspective you are holding currently, that is making you feel stuck.
Life is not static. Life is dynamic. It’s in constant flow. Coaching dances in the moment. It allows every moment to be exactly as it is. It doesn’t get stuck on the past or fixated on the future, but rather deals with whatever comes up right now in this moment. It helps you be more present to your life as it unfolds and to live more mindfully as you go through your day.
Coaching is aimed at evoking transformation. Sometimes transformation requires concrete action – brave, bold steps in a new direction to manifest a future dream or goal. Other times, transformation is more subtle. It’s a shift in perspective. A new way of looking at things, an understanding of self or others; an appreciation of what’s here now or what’s new in this moment that wasn’t there before. It’s the realisation of what’s possible or a deep inner knowing and understanding.
So, how do I do it?
How do I get you to live a more authentic and meaningful life? How do I get you to be more present to your life as it unfolds or to discover new things or change your perspective or take actions that will change your life for the better?
I show up. I am with you. I listen. Really listen. For deep understanding. I create space for you to think and talk and be as well as for you to become who you need to be to change your life for the better. I am curious about you and your life. I ask questions. Powerful questions that get you to think about your own life in ways you haven’t thought about before. I use my intuition to blurt out thoughts, questions or ideas that come to me that might serve you in discovering or uncovering something new in your journey. I champion and challenge you to claim the life you want. I hold your dreams and aspirations as the most important goal and will keep reminding you of them on your darkest days when you lose sight of them. I accept you fully. I don’t judge. I don’t criticize or blame. I’m fully present to you – all of you – so that you can claim the space the universe intended for you.
Life is too short. If you are here, then you already know that. Life is too short to play it small or to hold off on living your dreams – whatever they may be. Most people only exist. Very few people get to live; truly live. Wayne Dyer is often quoted as stating that “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” What this means is that we manifest in this physical form so that we can experience all the different facets of life. It also means that we did not sign up only for pleasure. We also signed up for existential pain and for challenging experiences. Why? So that we can really live and learn and grow as spiritual beings. So, if we hold this quotation as true for a moment, it means that you are exactly where you need to be right now, and you are experiencing what you need to experience. Every experience enables your journey if you allow it. How do we allow it? By not fighting what is but embracing what is and allowing our whole selves to partake in this journey.
I want to leave you with four questions:
- If you could get one thing handled in your life – if you could totally transform one area of your life and career – what would that be? And, what would you want to create?
- What is important about creating this in your life?
- What do you think is the biggest obstacle getting in your way of you creating that?
- If you had everything you wanted on the outside, in your life and career, what do you think would be different for you on the inside?