Have you ever felt really listened to? Really understood? How did the person you were talking to make you feel heard and seen? Most of us don’t spend much time trying to understand the art of listening. In our rushed and urgent society where we feel the need to stay busy and get things done, we have lost the ability to really listen – listen with the intent of understanding the other person’s world… […]
In Co-Active Coach Training, they teach us how to cultivate our Appreciator. That’s the part of yourself that can appreciate what is good about any situation, even in circumstances where it feels as if there is very little that is good about the situation. In fact, our deepest inner awareness and learning happens when we can activate our Appreciator.
What does it mean to appreciate something? The dictionary defines appreciation as the “recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something” or a “sensitive understanding of the aesthetic value of something”. So, it is akin to deep gratitude. One can appreciate a situation or a person. Appreciation often leads to a full understanding of the situation as apposed to a one-sided view of the situation. When you focus only on what is wrong about a specific situation or person, you are looking at it from a narrowed perspective. Allowing your appreciator in, opens a different perspective or perspectives and allows you to truly understand the fullness of the situation. […]
Whenever you read about people’s success stories or those zero to hero stories, they always make it sound like it was mostly smooth sailing. The story always starts with a challenge or a difficult situation. Then there is this little bit in the middle where the person had to demonstrate some grit and determination and really push towards their goals. And then, they are successful and decide to tell their stories to motivate others with mantras like “If I can do it, so can you”.
The problem with these stories is that they often tell you “how” after the fact. They look back and try to imagine what they were thinking and feeling as they were overcoming their challenging circumstances and then they share platitudes that are meant to inspire action in others. However, most people who are still stuck, listen to these inspirational stories and think “Wow it really does take a special kind. I don’t think I could ever do that.” Very seldom do we actually believe that we could follow in their footsteps. […]
If you are here, then you have probably woken up to your life and felt like something is missing. Or you have experienced a traumatic event in your life that has put your life into perspective for you and now you are questioning the meaning of it all. Perhaps you have been feeling stuck for a while and your search for answers have led you here. If you are here, you are experiencing some form of existential pain. I want to you to know that I get it. I’ve had my fair share of existential pain. What you also need to know, is that this exact pain and frustration that you are experiencing right now, will provide you with the impetus you need to transform your life into a more authentic and engaging life. […]